The constant attempted shaming and silencing of survivors on this hellsite? that makes me deeply uncomfortable.

Every time someone writes “you can’t write about that even if you’re a survivor and if you do you have to keep it to yourself”, what I read is the implied “you can’t write about your own trauma with the comforting distance of putting it on fictional characters, and if you do you’re not allowed to look for validation from other people.”

I read “you can’t share your story because it makes me uncomfortable to see it”.

I read “you should just be ashamed of the bad things that happened to you”.

I read “you should just suffer in silence”.

People act like not talking about abuse can… somehow stop it? And that’s not how it works. Shaming survivors only makes it easier for abusers to manipulate their victims. Silence protects abusers from discovery. It harms survivors by not letting them have the catharsis of understanding, and keeping them from support.

And I don’t feel like it’s anyone’s place to tell a survivor they have to out themselves to share, either.

So yeah. It’s not the only reason I’m anti-censorship, by a long shot, but there’s one reason I’m very much not on the side of “bad things can’t ever be written”- or on the side of shaming people who do write “bad things”, no matter what apparent reasons they have.

fiction–fanfic and profic–was what gave me the tools to contextualize what had happened to me s a teenager and young adult. yeah, probably i should have had therapy, but that wasn’t accessible to me when i needed it, for a variety of reasons. books were. fanfic was. it was the first time i felt like i wasn’t alone, that other people understood all that messy, ugly, complicated shit i was dealing with. that even if i’d never be able to talk about it out loud, i could write about it, and someone out there would understand.

so i have pretty much less than zero patience with people who want to delete everything that isn’t perfectly wholesome from fiction. sometimes you need to be able to read something ugly. and you know what? i don’t actually give a flying fuck if people are reading or writing it as masturbation material. human sexuality is a strange and complicated thing, and what other people jerk off to is none of my business. i care that it’s tagged and warned for properly, but beyond that, all that dark, disturbing, violent fic gets to exist. not only that, i want it to exist, because i guarantee you someone out there needs it

this one’s for all my survivors feeling isolated, brutalized, and re-victimized by the events of this week

i don’t have any words of wisdom for you but we’re still here, and that’s not nothing.

icedfairy:

[italics removed and spaces added for accessibility]

The kink = self-harm thing

All right, HERE’S the canned speech about kink and survivors, behind a cut.

Keep reading

If you are anti-darkfic, you are anti-survivor

I’ve had a bee in my bonnet since this incident the other day, and I figure it’s probably time to get it out of my system.

Darkfic is not a new phenomenon. It’s as old as the hills. For as long as there have been fic writers, there have been fic writers using the medium to explore themes that are taboo in mainstream fiction. Torture and gore, death and destruction, rape and sexual abuse. Every author has their own motives and inspirations for the content they produce, and there’s no ‘average’ darkfic writer. But what I can tell you - anecdotally, from a full decade’s worth of experience drifting in and out of various darkfic communities - is that when you involve yourself with these authors, you start meeting survivors. Lots of survivors. In what I think it’s fair to call a statistically significant concentration. 

For some, their survivor status is incidental to their controversial interests; for others of us, past trauma and mental illness are intrinsically tied to what we read and write. Darkfic can be a lifeline, a validation, a liberation, a profound and unbeatably intense catharsis for the shit we’ve got stored in our heads. Darkfic enclaves within fandom are places where we can air our darkest and most desperate fears and fantasies in a safe, supportive environment, in the company of others who remind us that we are not broken or defective just for wanting the things we want.

And here’s the thing: literally no one in these communities wants to force outsiders to join us. We recognise that our content is stuff that the majority of people don’t want to see, and we do our best to protect the rest of fandom from involuntary exposure by using appropriate trigger warnings. We don’t want to hurt anyone, we don’t want to ruin anyone’s innocence - we just want to be left alone to do our thing. But tumblr callout culture has taught people that “speaking out” against things they don’t like is cool and brave and socially progressive. It has created an environment where virtually the automatic response to distress, discomfort or personal offense is to look for a perpetrator, a culpable oppressive villain to whom the offended party can deliver a vicious “smackdown” while their friends look on and cheer.

I’m not going to argue just now about whether that’s ever an acceptable way to treat people. Regardless of anyone’s personal feelings on callout culture as a whole, there’s an intersection between darkfic and trauma survivors that you guys all need to understand before you go targeting darkfic authors as convenient representatives of everything you think is wrong with the world. So let me lay this out as simply and clearly as I can:

If you are anti-darkfic, you are anti-survivor. I’m sick and tired of watching vulnerable members of my community get harassed and bullied by people who claim to be acting in the interests of survivors. I’m sick of being told that survivors like me aren’t survivors at all, that our very existence is toxic and harmful, that we have no right to speak and be heard on an issue that affects us so intimately. 

Anti-darkfic fans, you need to pull back. You need to realise that your comfort and safety, while important, are not more important than the comfort and safety of other people. You need to understand that it is your responsibility to learn how to peacefully coexist alongside people who experience the world differently from you, even if their experiences make you unhappy or uncomfortable. You have no right to ask us to stop existing so that you can feel at ease. You have no right to demand that we prioritise the needs of some survivors over others. You don’t own fandom, and you have no right to dictate who does or doesn’t get to participate.

You are not brave heroes speaking out against the spread of moral degeneracy in fandom. You are bullies, deliberately and systematically targeting trauma survivors with your abusive tactics. It really is that simple. And it needs to stop.

Lady Gaga responding to a fan on Instagram (via ladyxgaga)

When fictional rape helps a healthy recovery

See something negative, post something positive.

This is not an exhaustive list. But every single example on this list comes from real life — either from my own experiences or those of people I know. I aim to offer a few real, concrete examples of how engaging with rape and abuse in fiction can be part of a very healthy recovery for survivors.

That’s not to say that non-survivors can’t enjoy this stuff. I certainly enjoyed it before I survived anything. But Jesus, when I see a survivor being told that any sort of interest in fictional rape is SICK AND WRONG and means you need therapy I can’t just stand idly by.

And yeah, we’re talking Hydra Trash Party here (hi tonystarks​). But we’re also talking non-con in fandoms the world over. Because really, there’s nothing new under the sun.

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