this post reminded me of this ~scenario~ that happens to me and other fat folks quite often! thin folks that are our friends, support fat folks, but haven’t quite had the time or chance or willingness to unlearn fatphobic ideas in relation to themselves. we know you still think of fatness as inherently unhealthy and unattractive, work on it ♥

free blocklist in the notes btw

Ways to reframe this so that you can try and let go of your internalized fatphobia (if you’re thinking is “I just dont like it one me!!” Babe, that’s because you’ve internalized society’s lesson that fat=bad)

“I’ve gained weight and thats ok, but I’m uncomfortable because I cant move in the same ways that I used to”

“I’ve gained weight and that’s ok, but now I’m worried about how strangers will perceive me because they have also internalized society’s harmful lessons”

“I’ve gained weight and that’s ok, but now my clothes dont fit as well as they used to”

“I’ve gained weight and that’s ok, but now I’m worried I might have to argue with medical staff about conditions that have nothing to do with my weight”

“I’ve gained weight, and that’s ok because it happens, but in the meantime I’m warm all the time and I don’t get to wear my cute sweaters”

Baby steps. Eventually you’ll internalize that first most important part, the “I’ve gained weight, and that’s ok” part. And then maybe you’ll realize that the other parts of those statements are true at any size (except maybe the medical one, the medical bias against fat people can suck my ass) and that being fat is just another way of being.

Watch: Terry Crews has some brilliant points about feminism — including an apt parallel to Civil Rights.

It is our duty as feminists to protect and respect women in Hijabs

Now. More. Than. Ever.

Question: if I see someone pull off a Hijab, what should I do? I know there are reasons they are worn so I want to if i should stand in between them and who did this, should i protect them from view somehow, or something else? This has been happening a lot so I feel it’s something everyone needs to know.

Good question! I cannot correctly and effectively answer, as I am a white, non-Muslim person; however, I will reblog in case any of my followers can answer. 

I asked my Hijabi friend, so here’s one Hijabi’s answer: 

“my opinion is, definitely try cover them or give them something to cover themselves with. And perhaps shoo off the person, without putting oneself in danger! God forbid, if that happened to me, I would like someone to come and comfort me and give me something to cover my hair with and then help me report it to the cops “

(Followers, if any of you are hijabi and would like to expand on this answer or offer alternatives, please do.)

If u see it happen to 1 of us, pls cover our head + hair with a coat or shawl or any piece of cloth, while hugging us in comfort. Please don’t get hurt by lashing out @ the perpetrators in any way, coz if they dare to do that, they’re probably too far gone in their own hatred to listen to any reason. Much love + Thank You to anyone who supports us.

yes !! everything said here is important af. if you see someone pull off a girl’s hijab immediately cover her hair and provide comfort. don’t talk to the perpetrator but try to get the woman out of there if you can. maybe if you have a scarf on you at the time give it to her so she can wear it until she’s alone and can replace her hijab. please please protect muslim girls because we already had it hard before donald trump became president and now its gonna be worse with people going around thinking their violence and cruelty is justified 

for my other white ppl who might have a hard time, it’s my understanding that a hijab is like a major item of clothing, not an accessory like a hat or a scarf. so think abt it more like if someone just ripped someone’s shirt or skirt off. u don’t want to be left there exposed or have to walk home without it.

everyone, even outside America needs to protect our Muslim sisters in these times.

as a man, what would be the best thing to do? should i turn my head and avoid looking at their hair? can i still offer a jacket or something similar?

^I’m hoping someone has an answer islamaphpbia is on the rise in my town and I want to be a good male non Muslim ally

For men, yes please, we would prefer it if you avoided looking at our hair, and if we don’t have something to substitute as a hijab at that moment, anything you could lend us, a jacket, etc, would be very appreciated.

Also, since most girls avoid physical contact with men they’re not related to, please do not hug them, but rather shoo the offender away if you can, or at least escort the girl to a safe place. You can still offer words of encouragement and support. Furthermore, understand that the victim may not be very welcoming towards you because she’ll obviously be shaken, and won’t know where you are coming from. If that’s the case, please still give her something to cover herself (hijab is very important, think of it as someone ripping your shirt off) and stand some distance away until you are sure she’s in safe hands.

Thank you so much for your support, we really appreciate it, god bless all of you.

In the horrible climate we’re currently in, please take note of this.

Reblogging this again for the guy-instructions

I don’t want to live any longer in this world of “the customer is always right.” This is a world that shows the aggressive, the bull-headed, the cruel that they have full license to behave like beasts to get what they want. Half the time, they’re even rewarded for it; “here, ma'am, so sorry for the trouble, please accept this gift card–no charge.”

I want to live in a world that punishes these childish adults as you punish a toddler throwing a tantrum. No candy for you, Jimmy; you’re going home to bed if you can’t mind yourself in public.

Throw a hissy fit because your cashier isn’t moving as fast as you’d like? Find yourself gently escorted from the store until you can show some basic compassion and patience.

Hurl a pen across the table at your signing agent? You’ve just forfeited your right to refinance your mortgage this week. Try again when your temper is managed.

Scream obscenities at the Taco Bell rep because you know it’ll earn you a free soft shell? Here’s your money back; please feel free to play again when you’ve realized fast food is not worth more than the price of human dignity.

I am so sick of accepting–and, in truth, rewarding–these callous behavior patterns in customer service industries. The fact is, the customer is not always right. The customer is often just testing to see what he can get away with. Stop pandering to spoiled children, and show your employees they have more value than their red polo, or how much abuse they can withstand in a 40-hour week.

We are here to provide a service and to make a living.

We are not your punching bags.

seems like the right time of year to bring this back around

Retail managers, take note; I’ll back up your staff if they stand up to the bullies. I’m one ofthose customers who have been in the service industry, those customers who are looking for good role models for their children, those customers who just want to pay and go home… stand up to the bullies and I definitely won’t be the only customer cheering you on.

I’m taking a break from politics posting today (I’m gonna try, at least. Remember when I had other interests??), but I read an article in a newspaper yesterday and I can’t get a certain something off my mind.

A preface: This post is for white people. My friends of color, especially Black friends, you are welcome to read it if you like, but if you’re tired of white people’s bullshit, you’re gonna want to skip it, because there is some Actual Fax Grade-A Bullshit detailed and addressed in this. White people - and I don’t have my face in my icon right now but I am incredibly white; my Irish-ass family hasn’t faced discrimination on the basis of our heritage in this country in a long-ass time and don’t let any of them tell you different - this is for you. For us.

The issue: A white woman in Florida attended an Andrew Gillum rally. She had voted for Obama in 2008. She liked Gillum. She voted for DeSantis. Do you know why she said she voted for that odious, pompous asshole? Because even though she voted for Obama, even though she liked Gillum’s platform, she “didn’t want to make it about race.” So she made it about race.

And then, tellingly, she explained what she meant by that. She claimed that after Obama was elected, her Black neighbors and friends got “so caught up” in the fact that Obama was the first Black president that she got annoyed with it. She felt they weren’t “seeing the issues clearly” because they were just distracted by their “pride” that a Black man had been elected president. And the fact that Andrew Gillum hadn’t let DeSantis get away with a racist dogwhistle after he won the primary was a signal to her that it was just going to be “about race” all over again, and she was tired of it.

I wish to God I could meet that woman, that I could look her in the face, and say, “So wait a second. You were so preoccupied with being uncomfortable that the Black people around you were happy – you were so angry, in fact, that you felt they were getting ‘uppity’ – that you proceeded to MAKE YOUR ENTIRE SELECTION ABOUT RACE to punish them. And somehow this makes YOU the non-racist party.” And then I would just stare at her until she could give me an answer.

But I can’t meet her. The best I can do is put this out on the internet and STARE at you through your computer screen. And I need to ask you, white people, to examine yourselves and your motives, and to confront the white people around you on their motives. “I don’t hate Black people,” they might say, but there’s an unspoken addendum and I need you to get at it, whether it’s in your own heart or your family’s. (And I understand. I have family members I don’t speak to anymore because we’ve gotten into fights about me telling them they’re being racist and now they’re not invited to my wedding.) 

But that unspoken addendum I need you to confront is this: Are you comfortable with the status quo? Do you get offended when someone points out that the status quo is, in fact, racist? Are you uncomfortable confronting your own role in upholding that status quo even though you, yourself, don’t believe that you’re racist? Do you think that confronting racism is worse than DOING something racist?

If so, then you, my friend, are just as much a problem as that skinhead with the white supremacist tattoos. “I’m not that bad!” I hear you saying. “I don’t want to kill Black people!” But you’re willing to let them suffer at the hands of those who do because you’re unwilling to confront your complicity in the status quo. And honey, honestly, at that point? What is the difference between the active agent and those who enable him? If someone says they want to set me on fire, and you hand them the matchbook because you’re tired of “everything being about fire safety”? I’m holding you responsible too, whether you ever struck a match or not.

I’m going to point out to you something that’s really uncomfortable: As white people, we’ve been raised to be comfortable in a world where Black people make room for us. Where they make concessions for us. Where they treat us better than we treat them because to do otherwise would put their actual lives in danger. And that’s not okay. It’s time we started clearing space for them, celebrating them, making sure they feel safe and welcome in every space they enter. And yeah, sometimes that means “making” things about race, because for decades, centuries now, we haven’t admitted that it already always was.

I’m asking you to do this with the good-faith assumption that you want the world to be a better place, that you don’t want to be racist, that you want everyone to live in harmony. I’m asking you to do this because I believe that you want to be the best person you can be, or at least a pretty good one, and this is a really big problem standing between us and a functioning society where everybody’s got a fair shot.

I know this is regressive 101 stuff for a lot of you. But apparently we live in a world where it’s radical and brand new revelatory information for some. And if nothing else, I hope I’ve brought it to your attention that this is something we still have to address. If you already know this stuff, I hope you don’t dismiss this post. I hope you take it as a wake-up call that we still need to get the message out, and we still need to lead by example, and we need to be the ones actively trying to heal some of these old wounds if we’re ever, ever going to have a chance of moving forward together as a functioning nation.

Thanks, and have a good day.

Mugshot of a teenage girl arrested for protesting segregation, Mississippi, 1961.

Her name is Joan Trumpauer Mulholland. Her family disowned her for her activism. After her first arrest, she was tested for mental illness, because Virginia law enforcement couldn’t think of any other reason why a white Virginian girl would want to fight for civil rights. She also created the Joan Trumpauer Mullholland Foundation. Most recently, she was interviewed on Samatha Bee’s Full Frontal on February 15 for their segment on Black History Month. Don’t reduce civil rights heroes to “teenage girl”.

She’s still alive!!! She’s 74.

Thank you Joan. 

From her wikipedia page: 

(Here’s a documentary about her in case you’re not big on reading. )

Her great-grandparents were slave owners in Georgia, and after the United States Civil War, they became sharecroppers. Trumpauer later recalled an occasion that forever changed her perspective, when visiting her family in Georgia during summer. Joan and her childhood friend Mary, dared each other to walk into “n*gger” town, which was located on the other side of the train tracks. Mulholland stated her eyes were opened by the experience: “No one said anything to me, but the way they shrunk back and became invisible, showed me that they believed that they weren’t as good as me. At the age of 10, Joan Trumpauer began to recognize the economic divide between the races. At that moment she vowed to herself that if she could do anything, to help be a part of the Civil Rights Movement and change the world, she would.

In the spring of 1960, Mulholland participated in her first of many sit-ins. Being a white, southern woman, her civil rights activism was not understood. She was branded as mentally ill and was taken in for testing after her first arrest. Out of fear of shakedowns, Mulholland wore a skirt with a deep, ruffled hem where she would hide paper that she had crumpled until it was soft and then folded neatly. With this paper, Mulholland was able to write a diary about her experiences that still exists today. In this diary, she explains what they were given to eat, and how they sang almost all night long. She even mentioned the segregation in the jail cells and stated, “I think all the girls in here are gems but I feel more in common with the Negro girls & wish I was locked in with them instead of these atheist Yankees. 

Soon after Mulholland’s release, Charlayne Hunter-Gault and Hamilton E. Holmes became the first African American students to enroll at the University of Georgia. Mulholland thought, “Now if whites were going to riot when black students were going to white schools, what were they going to do if a white student went to a black school?” She then became the first white student to enroll in Tougaloo College in Jackson, where she met Medgar Evers, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Reverend Ed King, and Anne Moody.

She received many letters scolding or threatening her while she was attending Tougaloo. Her parents later tried to reconcile with their daughter, and they tried to bribe her with a trip to Europe. She accepted their offer and went with them during summer vacation. Shortly after they returned, however, she went straight back to Tougaloo College.

She ultimately retired after teaching English as a Second Language for 40 years and started the Joan Trumpauer Mulholland Foundation, dedicated to educating the youth about the Civil Rights Movement and how to become activists in their own communities. 

I watched a YouTube video once (by a guy who’s name escapes me) about the importance of making sure the stories of white activists are told. His point was that it’s not about lavishing praise on them just because they were white and “woke”, it’s about letting other white allies see that others have come before them who were willing to sacrifice and do the hard work. This way they can see themselves in someone and realize that destroying inequality isn’t a fringe interest or just an “us vs. them” issue. It has to be ALL OF US.

Hey, Abled people

Take your good intentions and put them to PROPER use:

If disabled voices try to tell you that your solution to protect disabled people from fakers will, in fact, harm us and our peers, LISTEN.

We don’t need you to be our heroes. We don’t need paternalistic allies. We need allies that LISTEN TO WHAT WE ACTUALLY SAY WE WANT/NEED.

If that means that on occasion some entitled lady-snob gets away with bringing her precious Fluffy everywhere by saying he’s a service dog, so be it. If that means, from time to time, some jackass day trader with an over-compensating car parks in disabled parking because he’ll “only be a minute,” so be it.

Are they human garbage?

Oh hell yes.

Does it piss me the fuck off?

YES, IT DOES.

But does that mean I want it to be harder for my disabled peers to acquire a service dog because supposed abled-do-gooders decided to outlaw self-trained dogs? 

FUCK NO.

Does it mean I want abled people policing strangers who park in the disability parking so that my friends with invisible illness get harassed, accused of stealing placards, given dirty looks, or asked to divulge their medical history to prove they’re “disabled enough?”

AGAIN, FUCK NO.

Don’t punish us because some of your abled peers are utter shite. Don’t make life harder for us because you want to feel like a hero protecting those poor disabled people while ignoring what we actually tell you we need.

If you REALLY want to be an ally, then police YOURSELF. 

Worry about your own shit before you go around making life difficult for us thinking you’re saving us from other abled people.

As @candidlyautistic put it for autistics but it applies to any disability: I would rather let a “special snowflake” into the autistic community than exclude an autistic that needs support and cannot get a clinical diagnosis.

Another Jew reblogging about anti-semitism. I’ve seen some increase in concern about this from goyim, but it’s been slow going. Hopefully we’ll pick up a big head of steam soon.

“The only people I ever see reblogging posts about anti-semitism are other Jews. Even a lot of my non-Jewish followers will reblog posts about racism, sexism, homophobia, etc. but ignore posts about anti-semitism, and that as a Jew makes me feel unsafe.”

the amount with which this point in particular resonates with me is unreal

The bold is especially important.

I don’t think I suffer a lot from anti-Semitism, and I certainly don’t face anything close to the degree of oppression that many of my peers have to face because of their gender and sexual identity and the color of their skin. That being said, The previous posters are absolutely right on all counts.

Again, The only people I ever see reblogging posts about anti-Semitism are other Jews, while many blogs I follow reblog every post under the sun relating to racism, sexism, and homophobia. This issue has on occasion made me feel pretty isolated, because I have seen a lot of people reblogging posts related to recents events in Gaza that reflected extremely anti-Israel points of view. There’s nothing wrong with that, people have every right to hold those opinions, and I even share some of them. However, as the original poster said, a lot of recent anti-Semitic violence in Europe stems from the the willingness of anti-Israel Europeans to hold Jews in the Diaspora responsible for the actions of the state of Israel. This is not ok. This is anti-Semitism, and this is part of what American Jews are seeing as anti-Semitic in what tumblr users say and do.

The average American Jew on tumblr doesn’t think “I support what Israel is doing in Gaza, and the horrible things people say about Israel are anti-Semitic attacks”.

The average American Jew on tumblr thinks “I don’t support what Israel is doing in Gaza, and even though there wasn’t a single popular protest in Europe over civilian deaths in Syria, Libya, or elsewhere in the Middle East caused government violence, but as soon as Israel did it Europe was outraged, and tumblr exploded with anti-Israel posts covering the protests and Israel’s actions.”

Fantastic points. Bravo everyone.

I am specifically asking my non-Jewish followers (and Jewish followers if you’d like) to please read and reblog. It would mean a lot to me since I identify with pretty much all of this post. It addresses the complexities of modern antisemitism as a form of racism. We’ve done important work in in social justice already, but there is so much more to do. Thank you.

All of this.  ALL of it.  As a particularly light-skinned, blue-eyed Jewish woman I definitely run across the first point above a LOT.  And like, do I benefit from privilege compared to people who don’t look white?  of course I do!  But don’t confuse passing privilege for the real thing.

I want to give a shout out to @dsudis and @elucreh, because I see them reblog this type of stuff, and to my knowledge, they are not Jewish. But the fact that they stand out to me because of that as shining beacons of kindness…kind of sums up this post and its point.

I have honestly seen more of my goyische mutuals reblog these posts than not, but I’ve long had the impression that I’m an anomaly in this regard. …possibly because I end up with the historian and librarian nerds? Idk.

I’m wondering if some of the wider reluctance mentioned here stems from the complicated unpacking that goes into separating the people of the Jewish faith and community from the state of Israel, because, at least for me, the latter is extremely problematic (I have middle eastern heritage from Lebanon and probably shirttail cousins at a couple of removes who are Palestinian). There’s an entire geopolitical angle of how entrenched American foreign policy ties in with Israel, and, at some sub-surface level, this might be flavoring and coloring some folks’ view of Jewish folks because the nuance is being lost.

I’m trying to be a better ally. It’s a work in progress.

As a white woman, I wanna address the first part of that question: You don’t need to make anyone understand that not all white men are assholes. Trust me, we know #notallmen, etc. But honestly, you’re Schrodinger’s asshole. And chances are you still have a few dirtbag opinions hiding in the back of your mental closet that you haven’t gotten around to cleaning out yet. Everybody does. It’s a side effect of being white in a white supremacist society. We learn and accumulate asshole opinions and have to continually clean that stuff out. So don’t be offended when someone doesn’t immediately recognize you as an #ally, when they’re cautious and maybe uncomfortable around you at first. Just accept that that’s them protecting themselves and work on making yourself the kind of person they feel safe around. (Hint: If you get mad that they don’t trust you, they will never, ever trust you again, because it means that you still place your own feelings above their safety, and also that you don’t truly understand their situation.) Like, I’m a lesbian, and as much as I understand that not all straight people are unsafe – my best friend is a straight girl, actually – even the most well-meaning straight person says dumbass things sometimes, so if a woman of color doesn’t want me in her space because I’m a white girl? I totally get that. Sometimes you don’t want to have to be on your guard just IN CASE your well-meaning white friend says some dumbass, bullshit thing and then you have to deal with that. So, you know, work on yourself and your fellow white people, especially white men, and just let the rest of the chips fall where they may.

Way to be an ally!

http://www.nerdynook.com/

Meanwhile, in canon…

all those times when a killer for hire was leagues more sensitive and mature than the vast majority of his “fans”.

It baffles me how it is that so many people who claim to be Deadpool’s fans literally know nothing about the character and how he acts/would act

He’s got the most clueless fandom full of Fake Fanboys since Jesus

I’m happy to see everyone reblogging memes about killing Nazis, but I really hope this sentiment holds up into smaller things.  Things like being willing to condemn anti-semitism in liberal circles, the stuff that’s kept me from ever truly entering progressive groups.  The fact is, there probably won’t be any Nazis for you to scalp in the coming year, but there will be a lot of times you can speak up when your friends are being insulted, harassed or dismissed.  Will you still do that even though it doesn’t feel like a Captain America comic?

If I’m talking to you about antisemitism your reaction should not be “I love Jews!”. Just take what I have to say seriously and don’t try to neutralize your discomfort by proclaiming your love for us. It’s gross. 

Also, goyim, feel free to reblog (without commentary). I need you folks to see this.

Okay, here’s the problem with the idea that oppressed groups can “alienate allies” by not being nice enough:

You shouldn’t be an ally because oppressed groups are nice to you. You should be an ally because you believe they deserve basic human rights. Hearing “I hate men” shouldn’t make men stop being feminist. Hearing “fuck white people” shouldn’t make white people stop opposing racism.

Your opposition to oppression should be moral, and immovable. Your belief that all humans should be treated with equal respect shouldn’t be conditional based on whether or not individual people are nice to you.

The “you need allies to survive” is an explicit threat and a pretty good sign someone isn’t an ally. They’re basically threatening to withdraw their support for your basic humanity and survival if you don’t lick their boots.

Something to keep in mind.