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@royalwriter / royalwriter.tumblr.com

Lex, she/her. Mostly critical role, taz, and general memes. Previously henrythecrabgrass
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sabertoothwalrus
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thefloralmenace

One of the greatest kindnesses you can do for other adults is to add positive surprises to their lives. Think about it: When you're a kid, surprises are things like "Our teacher let us watch a movie today," "someone brought cupcakes for their birthday," "my parents got me a puppy," etc. But when you become an adult, surprises are things like your car breaking down, conflicts at work, and unexpected bills. No one plans fun surprises for adults, and you can do so much for morale if you do. Ex: One time I found a tiny unlocked door in one of my university's buildings. It was empty, but because I'm a whimsical bitch, I decided to put something fun behind it for the next person curious enough to open it. See below: The Egg Gnome.

The eggs were filled with tiny plastic plants (I tried candy first, but mice got into them, and that's not good for health and safety). Just for the hell of it, I decided to announce the hidden gnome and basket of eggs in the big college group chat, offering hints to which building it was in. People went BONKERS for it. It added fun to people's days as they inspected buildings they went into every day but didn't pay much attention to. They asked me for hints, tried to remember what building had those floor tiles, and proudly announced it in the chat when they had found eggs.

I did several things like that where I just hid things around the university and challenged people to find them, and it did so much for student morale. Some people messaged me to tell me my random antics were their only source of real fun on a daily basis. Adults are just big kids. We're supposed to play long into adulthood, and the games are just supposed to scale in complexity with age, but even simple things like a scavenger or prize hunt can make people so much happier. If you have any kind of morale-keeping duties or have the option to take them on at a school, workplace, etc., I highly recommend planning fun surprises for the people around you. Planned events are a lot of fun, but it's a totally different kind of fun to find out there's a scavenger hunt going on on a random Tuesday.

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possiblythreefourthspeahen

As I type this, my coworkers are exclaiming over an adult busy book one of them was given out of the blue - fun papers and paperclips and textured pages and even a few scent sachets! It's unique and beautiful and she loves it.

Earlier in the year, I bought a 12 pack of these for like 2 dollars.

I hid them all over the office - I thought they'd find one every few days but came in to find one of my coworkers actively and eagerly hunting them all down! She'd found all but two by the time I got there. She even helped hide some again so other coworkers could look for them when they came in. Everyone has their own chicken at their desks and at the employee computers. Some have been decorated (one has butterfly wings!) and for a while one was "sunbathing" with a little lifesaver floatie.

We need whimsy! We need enrichment! It doesn't have to be much to make people happy and it's always worth the time and effort to set it up.

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outrageousbirb
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aflo

what's the worst way to profess your love to someone? a voicemail? an email? zoom invite?

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aflo

im thinking paypal donation but it has to be something low like $20 or $100. anything over $5k rolls back around to being romantic

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aflo

GITHUB PULL REQUEST

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fruitbattery
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powdermelonkeg

Important rules/tips I've learned as an adult that helped with anxiety

  • If people are mad at you, it's their responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess
  • If they're mad at you in secret anyways, they're the ones in the wrong, not you
  • If people don't like what you're doing, it's their responsibility to tell you
  • If they say it's fine when it's really not, they're the ones in the wrong, not you
  • People are allowed to be wrong about you
  • If they are wrong about you, wait for them to bring it up, because if you try to, you will inevitably overcorrect
  • Some people are committed to misunderstanding you. You will not win arguments against them. Yes, even if you explain your point of view. They do not care. Drop it
  • The worst thing that will happen from a first-time offense is being told not to do it again. Maybe with a replacement if you broke something
  • You can improve relationships and gauge willingness to talk to you by giving compliments. It's like a daily log-in bonus and nobody thinks twice about it
  • Most things are better after you sleep on them
  • Most things are better after you have a meal
  • Most things are better after you shower
  • Your brain makes up consequences that are irrational. If the worst DOES come to pass and someone acts like they do in your head, they are overreacting, and you are entitled to say "what the fuck"
  • If your chest hurts after you feel like you've made a social error, that's called rejection-sensitive dysphoria. It means your anxiety is so bad that it's causing you physical pain, which is a good indicator that you're overreacting. Tense yourself, hold it for 20 seconds, let it go, then find a distraction
  • If you're suddenly angry at someone after you feel like you made a social error, that's also rejection-sensitive dysphoria. You are going to feel annoyed about it for awhile, but being genuinely pissed off is your anxiety trying to find something to blame to take the responsibility off your shoulders, and getting scared because it can't justify itself. Deep breaths, ask yourself how much you ACTUALLY want to be angry at that person, then find a distraction
  • "Sour grapes" is more healthy for you than stewing. Deciding you don't like someone who's perpetually annoyed with you, won't talk to you, etc. makes letting go of anxiety over them easier
  • If people don't like you, they will find reasons to be annoyed with you when they otherwise wouldn't. If people do like you, they will find reasons NOT to be annoyed with you when they otherwise would. People do not ping-pong between the two
  • You DO have to make a conscious choice not to think about something. If you're having trouble circling back to it, say out loud that you're done thinking about it and why. Then find a distraction
  • When you're upset, part of you is going to want to make false bids for attention (suddenly texting differently, heavy sighs, etc. but when someone asks you about it, you tell them it's nothing). Do not listen to it. You gain nothing from it except more misery
  • People like to help people they care about. It makes them feel good about themselves
  • If you think you're insufferable for needing help, see above. Yes, really. They get a serotonin kick from it
  • If you think you're insufferable for mannerisms you have, you either have to consciously choose not to do them, or accept that they're part of the package that comes with you. Being apologetic about existing does nothing except make you more miserable
  • If you do things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it makes it easier to do them when you hate it
  • If you avoid things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it reinforces and magnifies how bad it feels when you hate it
  • Seriously. Read those last two points again. If you can make yourself make a phone call when you've got nothing to lose, you will slowly lose that panic you get when you have to make a phone call you haven't prepared for. You do have to CONSCIOUSLY take that step
  • Hobbies that make you care for something get rid of that nagging feeling that you're not doing enough. Go grow some rosemary
  • If you don't engage with your hobbies regularly, you will feel miserable, and anxiety will spike
  • Hobbies are things that give you a bit of happiness. They do not have to be organized or named to do that. Go be creative in something. Play with coins. Make up lists. Start a new WIP
  • No one cares what you look like
  • If people point out things they don't like about how you look unprompted, they are being rude. You are entitled to say "what the fuck"
  • People who like you will find you pretty to some degree. Minor things about your appearance go completely unnoticed. Literally, scars and dots and blemishes do not register to someone who likes your company
  • You looking at yourself in the mirror is 10x more closely than anyone is going to look at you
  • If you're anxious about your body type, and you're creatively inclined, make/write an oc with that same shape. Give them nice things and make other characters love them. Put them on adventures. You'll start to see yourself in the mirror more kindly
  • You care about wording and perfect lines/colors way more than anyone who views your work ever will
  • Sometimes when you're upset, you're going to feel like not eating. Do not do that. Not eating makes you more miserable
  • Same with things you normally enjoy. Denying yourself helps no one. You are punishing yourself for being sad. Stop it
  • Both of these will take conscious decision to break the habit of. Make yourself do it anyways, and it will slowly get easier
  • And again, to reiterate: If someone is mad at you, it is THEIR responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess
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notyourdeliveryservice
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horseimagebarn

horse whose hooves are stuck individually in different colored buckets the horse seems a bit surprised but unbothered the sign of a well mannered yet perhaps empty minded horse or perhaps this is all a goof of the horses own design

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onebi1

I work at an equine hospital and for non horse people, there’s ice in those buckets for the horse’s feet. This is a common thing to do after a horse eats too much food, as ingesting high amounts of sugar causes inflammation in the hoof. So this horse is not just content in his buckets, he’s likely just enjoyed the greatest meal of his life.

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horseimagebarn

it got lost in the sauce so hard that it had to put its feet in the sauce shoutout to a homie and a legend

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