I offer you: Tim Drake being absolutely demolished in a way or another for being good at videogames, both by his opponent and his own teammate
Recently this is the only thing capable of pumping some dopamine in my ADHD brain so this is what u get lol
More to come!
Tim: You know how you worry about me constantly?
Bruce: … Yes?
Tim, trying to ease Bruce into the "i don't have a spleen talk" and failing: Well now you have a reason to
In every "the JL has never met the batfam" au in my brain, whether it's because the Batfam are murder-happy or pretending to be cryptids or are secretly the mob, whatever, it is always always ALWAYS funnier to have Nightwing still on the JL team. Like. Everyone feels so bad for him since he lives right next to demon town or whatever and then one day he just drops the information that they're all his baby siblings. Actually, that big scary guy? His dad. Yeah it's like a whole thing. What do you mean you're scared of Robin? He's like a baby! <- said baby almost killed Superman for sport like twenty minutes ago
We’ve had canon “Batman recruits Plastic man to the League”, but consider the comedic possibilities of the opposite.
The League desides to grow their roll, and ask the current members if they have any potential candidates. Not a lot of surprises - Superman brings Kara, Wonder Woman shows up with Big Barda, J’onn claims Booster and Ted just followed him in, but as long as they’re here…
It’s all pretty convivial. Nobody’s sure who Plastic Man is going to bring, maybe someone from one of the recent team-ups (Captain Marvel did laugh at all of Plas’s jokes, and Plas’s eyes literally popped out of his head when he met Power Girl).
Then Plastic Man squeezes through the door, turn the lights down low (“Aambianceee” he yodels), does a big dramatic “shushhh” and opens the door to reveal The Batman.
The. Batman.
The Flash nearly chokes on his drink.
IFNFHDIXJXJDBDHXJSKDJCJXJSJXNDJDJDNSHJSBXHDBXJXXB
💯💯💯 Big brained. Absolutely. One million percent
At a justice league meeting discussing a major threat and if they should tell the public
Bruce: We don’t want to be causing an international crisis. I suggest we keep this information to only a select few individuals outside this room
At the Batcave
Bruce: News flash, we’re screwed
Jason: I knew it! I told you all that those lights weren’t just a league training gone wrong!
can companies just stop updating and changing every single thing about their apps and websites for no reason. we don't need youtube to be pink and completely change how minimising videos works on mobile. we don't need the search engine to be it's own category in the play store it was FINE at the top of the screen. you know. where all other search engines always are. why does everyone love changing and messing things out if they were perfectly fine and functional for years now??
I need Terry and Jason to meet, but their dynamic has to be like this:
Jason: Monologues about how much he doesn’t want to reconcile with Bruce and the family while visiting for the 10th time that day
Terry:
Robin: *fighting a goon*
Goon: Stop! Stop, I quit. I give up.
Robin: Really?
Goon: Yes. Just tie me up for the police.
Robin:
Robin: Give me six dollars.
Goon: What?
Robin, in a fighting stance: Give me six dollars for the book fair or I’ll beat you up. Again.
Goon: *can’t believe they were just getting their ass kicked by a toddler in go-go boots*
Goon: I only got a ten
Robin: Deal.
Batman: *makes him give the money back*
(drops off this doodle and leaves like a cat)
Batman isn’t a mask; It’s a leash. In this essay I will—
Accidentally peaked after such a long artblock
More cass 🖤
there's a scene in the caped crusader where baby bruce shows up at alfred's door in the middle of the night, stands shrouded in darkness, says, "i'll make them pay," or something to that effect and then disappears instantly. he woke alfred up for that. and that's why i think bruce wayne is a fun character, because he's too wealthy to be normal, but his rich person developmental process was permanently stunted, meaning he still is capable of empathy even if he's overall emotionally stunted. it's like, he can't cook because he's too rich to ever have to, except his solution to not being able to cook is to ensure he can barehanded catch and gut and cook a fish over a fire. it never occurs to him that he could just buy a book about it even with the means to easily do so. bruce's in-character response to anything requires his response to be ratfuck wild. the microsleeps. the back-up personality. in batman: venom bruce staged his own drug intervention by locking himself into a cave for a calendar month, screaming in total darkness. other rich people try equine therapy. i don't actually know how bruce manages to be normal in public because quite frankly he's on the verge of committing a felony or actively participating in one 90% of the time
antigonick by anne carson + the legacy of the bats
batman: year one / batman dark victory / identity crisis #5 / batman #567 / robin: son of batman #6 / batgirl #9 / x /batman: battle for the cowl #3 / nightwing secret files and origins #1 / batman #600 / batman #650 / batman #428 / new teen titans #55 / joker: last laugh #6 / detective comics #699 / nightwing #97 / batman #642 / batgirl #1 / teen titans spotlight #14 / robin #13 / x /batgirl #59 / batman #682 / batgirl #28 / grayson #12
#1 gotham yaoi
Okay. But when Bruce discovers Talia knew Jason was alive? That she knew his child was the man under the red hood. His boy.
Oh.
Jason’s met and memorized every facet of Bruce Wayne. He knows Bruce by the way his eyes melt when he looks at him, to the hard lines of his cowl. He knows where Bruce starts and Batman ends.
When Bruce rips off his cowl to give her the deepest glare Jason’s ever seen, he’s reminded there’s no difference. Fear hits his stomach when he swallows,
“Hey, old man, don’t fucking blame HER. She has NO obligation to you—“
Bruce’s eyes are unblinking, wide, jumping from her frozen form to him. And Jason’s suddenly 10 again, running from hungry stray dogs cornering him in a place with no exit.
Bruce’s voice is shadow and whisper, “Quiet.”
“…Okay.”
“Damian,” he rasps, pointing at the small figure with dark hair and green eyes, who looks at neither of them. He looks at Talia. Jason thinks it’s fair. He’s never seen her scared, either. “Car. Cave. Stay. “
There’s something incredibly bitter in Jason when he just does. Doesn’t ask. Doesn’t rebel. He wants to, with every fiber and matter and crumb in his body. And his body says no.
He grabs Damian like he’s an angry cat, not the small assassin he knew since he was born. He doesn’t look back. He doesn’t want to, he realizes.
“Did you know?” Bruce asks, such a deadly calm to him, too calm for the winter in his eyes. Talia would’ve preferred a blade to the neck.
She can’t meet his eye. Almost like if she doesn’t face his hatred, his disapproval, his disappointment, it doesn’t count. “I did. “
“…Whatever you do,” she’d take it as pity if he didn’t sound repulsed , “you’re still his daughter.”
“No loyalty, no loyalty —,”
Dick kind of understands why Tim called.
Bruce is something animal and savage. something monster made; He’s never been more Gotham than this.
With his cowl ripped off and his autumn brown eyes manic, teeth bared and hissed. He understands why Damian looks scared, even if he doesn’t expect it.
“NONE. “
Bruce Wayne is a man; Men, as Dick learned since he was 10, are scary all the time, but they’re something else when angry. Even Bruce, who’s a gentle one, all things considered.
“Not even from YOU.”
He’s a gentle man who’s currently backing Talia at the edge of this building, and Dick moves without thinking, without judgement, jumping in front of Talia, to both their surprise,
“B— Tati —,”
“WHERE,” Bruce’s voice is bullets and thunder, a sound ripped straight from his heart, looking straight through Dick. Like he’s not even there. Like he only sees Jason’s body crawling from green and death.
“IS HE?!”
