"what is that? a fish or a chicken?" . . . "oh it's a cat"

"that's a fucking cat"

"haha yeah i know"

"i mean it kind of looks like a drumstick"

@junebluues & @zerostyrant

naming a hyuluka fankid that's showing up in a fic of mine. thought i would let the people decide

seong-ho also can have a meaning relating to daybreak but i wanted to keep the options in the poll itself relatively concise

thinking about potential au ivanmizi round and also ivantill round six where ivan doesn't even fucking kiss/strangle till and till notices that ivan isn't trying and so till ends up being the one to lose. hm

@bluemoonscape

I do gotta say I love how ivantill and mizisua are both cat/dog coded as ships. ivanmizi (who are foils) are both the dog coded ones, whereas sua and till are cat coded, and I kind of fuckin love that

cover of "the cut that always bleeds" by Conan Gray that I did for @a-stray-wretched-dog!!

listening to suki suki daisuki on repeat today

my last song that i listened to like this, on repeat, was butcher vanity. maybe this is a sign

hhahahghhaehghjdfh this is so nice of you to say, anon!! Also it's a great thing for me to keep in mind, if I try to learn any of the others. . . the funny thing is that, I did do it by ear mostly, rather than looking at the romanization because the romanization just confused me . . . it includes so many letters that aren't pronounced and I would get in my head about it, so I listened to the song over and over to try and pick up on the pronunciation. . . I didn't do *amazing* and a friend is actually giving me tips on the pronunciation, so if I were to do it again in the future, it would probably be better. . . but thank you for still going out of your way to say that it was impressive and that you liked it hahah

Personally, I believe that he would very well be alive. Nonetheless, this is definitely Till's edition of what the fans informally have dubbed "death comics" where we have "thank you for being the victim of my shallow emotions" for Ivan and Sua's being where we met her big sister and she calls Mizi her paradise, I believe.

This is definitely Till's version of that, which could imply that he's dead, but at the same time- it doesn't have an ending that directly references his "death" like the other two do. I'm not saying that's a reason to believe he's still alive but at the same time, Ivan's had him kissing Till during Round 6 as his last panel, and Sua's had her getting shot in the neck as her last panel, whereas Till's involves him walking away with Ivan, Mizi, and Sua. We've never seen this drawing of Anakt before, it's unclear if it's even Anakt (it could be an idealized version of it, or simply a *real* version of it that isn't so artificial), but it doesn't end on nearly so dismal a note as the others. It's not necessarily hopeful but it doesn't have that final nail in the coffin feeling that the others do, in my opinion.

He could very well be dead but he could also be alive, I'm not really sure either way. I'm curious as to what exactly you think, Geo! Sorry for the delay, by the by, I was on a field trip 😅

Till had a mother; a mother who loved him.

I fucking adore this comic, especially for what it tells us about Till, giving us perspective about him through his own eyes as well as through the eyes of someone who loved him and raised him, his mother. Not only that, but it gives more insight on the worldbuilding which always makes me really happy. Ironically though, that's not what this post is about!

This post is about Till's mom. When I first saw this comic, this morning, I thought for a fleeting moment that I was right; that Till had a mother. I dared not hope until one of my friends said that, unless the translation was wrong, it was his mother, and I kind of stopped attempting to restrain myself.

About a year ago, last November, I actually thought to myself about the hypothetically parental situations of all of the characters. It was for an AU I was doing at the time but it was heavily based in canon, because of my own proclivities towards grounding my AUs with canon context, and funnily enough, Till had a mom who raised him, before she died and he was shunted into the foster system. Now, I realize that's an AU and that doesn't really mean anything but the thing is, I thought Till had a mom for a reason.

Till is one of the most resilient characters present in Alien Stage. Admittedly, he grapples with some of the worst mental health issues and the worst conditions, thanks to Urak, but he still perseveres. I hypothesized him having a parent for this reason; he is immensely resilient and he still able to find the willingness to keep it up when the going gets tough, something that would be much easier to do when you have a healthier foundation and memories of actual love and affection coming from another human being. Till is one of the most normal kids out of all of them- I know that sounds kind of unhinged but his behaviors make the most sense in the situation that they're in. He's not naively hopeful like Mizi but he's still willing to fight for the future he wants, he still rebels against the system oppressing him because he's unwilling to sit down and take it. He's not willing to sacrifice himself like Sua or Ivan because he doesn't want to just give up like that, he's unwilling to simple accept death as a inescapable outcome.

He has one of the most healthy attachment styles (not in a clinical sense because by god, none of them have a healthy attachment style in the clinical sense). He doesn't cling to anyone obsessively- his infatuation with Mizi is simply a boy having a crush, it's normal, it's rote and routine, you could go to any school with ten to twelve year old boys and find someone who acts very similarly to Till. Till is able to handle being alone and while he isn't the best at socializing, he can interact with other people normally, as shown in the birthday comic where he's able to talk to an off-screen NPC without biting their head off (attacking) or running away. We know he has self-worth issues and that he doesn't really like accepting help but at the same time? We know that he *does* accept help, as Ivan is heavily implied to help Till with schoolwork and I sincerely doubt that would have continued to happen without Till letting him help. The way that Till acts is often the most relatable- he's impulsive and standoffish and easily flustered, yeah, but at the same time, a lot of people are! Mizi is happy-go-lucky in the face of such misery, because of a sheltered homelife. Ivan is cynical in the face of uncertainty because he has stared death in the face, he knows what it looks like. Sua is hesitant yet unwavering in her convictions, gripping onto what little happiness she has with white-knuckled hands.

Till was raised by a mother who loved him- not a mother like Shine who sheltered him from the darkness and hoped that he would never have to face it, but a mother who knew about the darkness and couldn't force him to keep quiet on those dark nights. That's part of this comic that hits so hard: his mom knew the consequences of Till's love of music and in the end she was unable to smother his joy, she couldn't bear to. That led to his downfall, just as she knew it would.

Was it worth it? to let him be happy for those fleeting moments? or should she have killed that happiness, that joy, where it slept in the crib?

Shame that we'll never know the answer to that question

waharharhar

song itself and music belongs to vivimeng/studio lico of course and stuff but uh yeah the voice is mine. . .

Oh! Hello! Thank you for the ask, anon!

Y'know, the funniest thing about this ask, for me anyways, is that . . . well, Ivan was going to be trans whichever story pool got picked. One of my biggest and loudest headcanons for Ivan is that he's transmasc, because I am transmasc and I related to Ivan so much that I like to project that onto him (also it adds another layer to his feeling of alienation amongst the other kids). For all of the story ideas that I listed, Ivan is planned to be trans, because to be honest, I write him as trans unless explicitly proven otherwise?

Anyways, thank you so much for this, especially since it was something I was already receptive to hehe <3 also gives me an excuse to babble about transmasc Ivan . . .

Oh my goodness, Anon?? this is so sweet?? I almost want to keep it in my inbox forever just so I have it but I want you to know that I saw it, and that it isn't weird or creepy to me, it's immensely flattering that you listened to my cover and that you liked it enough to hum along!

im so normal about this actually. . . maybe made me cry a lil. thank you so much for taking the time to send this 🥹 say hi to your cat for me!!

something something ivantill

oh damn you right i did go on a spree earlier today. yknow when you just go down a doomed yaoi rabbit hole? . . . yeah 😔

sorry if i was spamming your dash or smth

here, an anpan for your troubles <3

one of my friends asked me to teach him how to sing today and i really don't know what to do w/that like how?? what?? why 😰

im not. i. i don't get it

I love it when Vivinos chooses violence

oh but also v interesting thing to note about this image: 1? no eyebags. 2? IV in his neck that attaches or also goes into his arm. 3! cattle tag babeyyy. 4! this one of the first times we have visibly seen him this happy/laughing

closeup on the cattle tag and IV