robinprinceofchaos

i will forever stand by the fact that if Dick has eldest daughter syndrome then Jason has irresponsible estranged aunt syndrome.

Dick, to Damian: you have to hold my hand when we cross the street.

Damian: Richard-

Dick: LOOK BOTH WAYS

*meanwhile, two blocks away while Jason lets Tim do donuts on his motorcycle*

Jason, to Tim: yeah i can get us some weed. you know me and Roy used to take edibles and then take a bunch of paintball guns to an old abandoned railroad to role play as war veterans in the middle of a high-stakes battle, it’s so fucking fun i gotta teach you and Dami sometime, just don’t tell Dick or Bruce-

Tim: *starry eyed, listening with awe*

ozzyfromscotland

jason "that one unemployed friend on a tuesday" todd

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maromarlade

Bruce Wayne & Kids™ on one of those YouTube celebrity interview channels

Interviewer: *hands Bruce one of those Most Googled Questions boards* We'll just start off with some miscellaneous questions for Bruce

Everyone: *nods/hums their agreement*

Bruce, peeling off the first sticker: Ok! First question, "Who is Bruce Wayne..? Dating!

Bruce: God question, so actual-

Bruce gets interrupted as all his children, sitting around him, give their own answers

Dick: Clark, obviously

Jason: Superman

Tim: Selina

Cass: Minhkhoa Khan

Stephanie: Superman

Damian: Mother

Duke: No one..?

Bruce: ...

Everyone: ...

Bruce: So as I was saying, Bruce Wayne is currently single

Bruce, exasperated: Thank you, Duke

The kids: *suspicious glaring at each other and Bruce*

Bruce: ...

Bruce: Hey so we need to redact that-

The final clip is filled with long beeps, you can mildly make out three voices, two saying "Superman" and a young voice going "mother"

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ashes-of-rozes

Dick: whatcha doing, Damian?

Damian: redesigning the Robin suit

Dick: oh like Tim? Gonna be your own version of Robin?

Damian, confused: no, I’ll still be Robin, just with a different suit.

The rest of the batfam appearing out of nowhere: NO!

Damian: Why not?

Jason: no one touches the Robin suit and still calls themselves Robin

Tim: off limits, even for you. The most modification ever been allowed were pants

Damian: that makes no sense

Bruce: The Robin outfit is sacred

Jason: and also Dick’s crying in the corner

Bruce: that too

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clairebear5510

Both Jason’s and Tim have a severe case of middle child syndrome as a middle child here’s an accurate representation of what that looks like:

BRUCE: Tim please, we just couldn’t come.

TIM: yeah sure but you were with dick the whole time.

BRUCE: HE WAS BLEEDING OUT.

TIM: OK AND I HAD A SCIENCE FAIR PROJECT??

BRUCE: god you and Jason act the exact same way….

TIM: pardon me? It’s not my fault you pay more attention to the demon child and dick more than us.

BRUCE: I spent all of last weekend with both you and Jason. What do you MEAN?!

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patoslover

grunklebongrip

When a fic doesn’t fit my head canons but it’s well-written

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Dick: i don’t get it.

Jason: ?

Dick: when you were killing people in the Nightwing costume, everybody started hating Nightwing and trying to call the cops on me and stuff, but when YOU’RE killing as the Red Hood, everybody fucking loves you! what’s the difference?!

Jason: oh, you gotta kill in a lovable way.

Jason: blow a kiss to the security cameras, carry chocolate bars for the kids, recommend good bloodstain detergent to the parents, you know. make it fun. when i was Nightwing i just glared at everyone, there was no community aspect.

Dick: why wouldn’t you make it fun for ME?!?

Jason: dude when the real Nightwing started showing up they were throwing rocks at you. it was funny.

Dick: BUT IT WAS YOU WHO-

Jason: yeah but i expected the rocks, i’m good at dodging. did you see your fucking face when that woman threw her kids diaper at you? it’s my phone background now. Tim has it printed out and framed in his bedroom.

Dick:

Jason:

Dick: i hope the joker gets you again.

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demonicsuffrage

Baby Robin Dick, shaking Bruce awake at 3am: Bruce, I'm hungry

Bruce:

Bruce and baby Dick, now shaking Alfred awake: Alfred, we're hungry

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i do adore the aus where Damian and Jason are brothers from the league and Damian came to Gotham before Jason returned as Red Hood, because it gives me the image of Damian travelling to Gotham and trying to integrate himself into the family only to spitefully call Jason in the middle of the night after a week or two

Jason: isn’t it 2am where you are? why are you calling me?

Damian, whispering furiously under his bed: another boy got here before me and i need you to kill him

Jason:

Jason: huh?

Damian: some ‘Timothy Drake’ is TAKING MY PLACE-

Jason: the neighbour kid…?

Damian: -RUINING MY SPOT AS ROBIN. I DEMAND YOU COME TO GOTHAM AND KILL HIM FOR ME.

Jason: …why do i have to do it?

Damian: because Pennyworth wouldn’t let me when i tried.

Jason:

Jason: *deep sigh* i already told you, you can’t call me everytime you want somebody bumped off.

Damian: what about-

Jason: the time in france was a special circumstance because the guy was an ASS.

Damian:

Damian: :(

Jason: NO.

Damian: father has a glass case with your old Robin costume and a plaque that says ‘a good soldier’.

Jason, instantly: i’ll be in Gotham by the end of the week.

Damian: :D

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*at the Wayne’s for a BBQ*

Jon, pointing at Jason’s chest as he gets out of the pool: woah, how did you get THAT one?

Jason, looking down at his autopsy scar:

Jason: *makes eye contact with Clark behind Jon*

Jason: uh.

Jason: that happened because when I was a kid I refused to go to bed when my dad told me to.

Jon: *gasp*

Jason: yeah… I should have listened. if you stay up too late the… I dunno. the bedtime monster. yeah. if you don’t listen then the bedtime monster attacks you for not sleeping and you get one of these.

Jon, whispering: I had no idea…

Jon, solemnly: thank you for warning me.

Jason: anytime.

Damian, watching Clark slip Jason ten dollars from the other side of the pool: by god, my friend is an idiot.

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ccassandra-cain asked:

Hey dickie

i wanted to say sorry

for calling you old yesterday, i got a bit mad and said it, i'm really sorry! i swear i didn't mean it!

dickgraysonfr answered:

Are you, really? -.-

Personally, I am not sorry.

I'm going back to Blüdhaven. Goodbye Damian.

RICHARD. NO.

Bye 😔💔

...... I am sorry, Richard, for calling you old. Please do not go back to Blüdhaven.

Are you really sorry?

.......... yes.......... why wouldn't I be serious.........

.... goodbye.

RICHARD. I AM SORRY. PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE. o(TヘTo)

...one more thing like that and I'm leaving.

This is extremely unfair. You tease me all the time, but I am not able to joke about your age? (ᓀ ᓀ)

When was the last time I did it? Besides I hate being called old.

I won't call you old anymore if I don't have to answer your question.

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pastillcs

dami: i still do not get the point of doing this. what purpose does this serve?

cass, painting his nails black to match with her and tim: *noncommittal shrug*

dami: -tt-. this is pointless.

also dami: *maintains the integrity of his manicure with utmost care and respect, to the point of altering his training regimen as to not sustain even the smallest of chips in the polish*

cass: *proud smile*

dami: this proves nothing.

ccassandra-cain

@the-littlest-wayne Have you been taking care of your nails?

the-littlest-wayne

They are still pristine, yes.

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