I was just on a call with a hotline. Haven't done that since like, oh god- maybe when I was first diagnosed with depression. All my friends and family know I'm going through a depressive episode as well as consistent (and constant) anxiety. Nothing I can tell someone about how I feel is something I haven't expressed over and over and over. I've let my illnesses take control of my entire personality before and it drove people away. I don't want to repeat the same mistake but lately I find more often that I have nothing else on my mind but the pain I am feeling. Bless the hotline worker, but I couldn't find any comfort talking with them. The future looks so hopeless in my eyes. Taking it day by day is how I keep going. Unfortunately, I am so unprepared for adulthood because all I've done is survive. My fear of the future just increases as I get older. Doing the most I can just isn't enough. For now, I'll go to bed and wake up the next day. That's all I got.