Alright I’m curious, your Western zodiac sign and favorite MCU character

I’m a cancer and my favorite is Thor c:

*romantically calls you dude*

*platonically calls you babe*

Romantically calls you dude: Aries, Sagittarius, Aquarius, Gemini, Capricorn, Virgo

Platonically calls you babe: Taurus, Leo, Libra, Scorpio, Pisces, Cancer

quality blog vs. shitposter

forget overwatch mains, the REAL personality test is who you main on mario kart

rb with your star sign and who you main on mario kart in the tags

what the signs need to hear pt.2

aries: you’re lost, but you don’t want to admit it. you’re scared and you have no idea what you’re doing or what the future holds but you hide it with a smile. you keep chugging along in life waiting for a sign or an answer to where you’re going. you haven’t found the beauty in being lost quite yet, oh, but you will. because the beauty in being lost, is that you’re actually being found. the only thing holding you back is the voice in your head telling you that you can’t do it. you will find the strength to change that voice of yours. you will.

taurus: you’re terrified that you will feel this way forever. that you have felt all that you will ever feel and that this is it. this is life. oh, but it’s not. with each year, month, week, and even each day, you are growing. the future is not hopeless nor is it daunting. there are people waiting to meet someone like you and they will give you the best experiences, feelings, advice, and love you could ever ask for. this is not all that life is, you are just starting out.

gemini: you’re so scared of being vulnerable but here’s the truth: it’s the only way to find happiness. your heart is too genuine and kind, too sweet and authentic, to keep it hidden away. i promise you that opening up to someone will only let a river of love and acceptance come your way. not everyone is going to hurt you or betray you or make you feel like less than you are. you will learn to spot those people, you will kick them out, and you will eventually find out how much you really are worth.

cancer: you’re hardening. don’t let the world take the very essence of who you are. the world needs people like you. you are soft, kind, loving, gentle, and all around rare. i understand that the people hurting you will sometimes make you pessimistic and not want to continue giving people your heart and warmth, but it will be worth it and you will find the people who give it back. this world is all about staying true to yourself and not letting the worlds negativity change you.

leo: you are not too much. you are perfect. the anxiety of being ‘good enough’ for people just isn’t worth it. you are so generous, passionate, and loyal. anyone who doesn’t see your worth just isn’t someone you should keep around. fuck anyone who makes you feel like less than you are and fuck anyone who comes around and belittles you. you’re too nice to the people who just don’t deserve it, you need to use that energy on yourself instead.

virgo: you’re so stressed out and anxious about what may happen next. but everything comes to you in it’s own time and how the universe intended it too. you can’t force love or success or anything else for that matter. things will come to you, even if it’s way after when you thought it would. things happen to us when we’re ready. live life in the moment and i promise the right things will happen to you at the right time.

libra: you’re scared nobody actually wants to be around, and it’s just a total lie. there’s nobody more sensitive and understanding than you. nobody who takes the time to get to know people like you do. people look at you and see a genuine and authentic soul, and nobody could ever take that away. if you could just learn to love yourself little by little, you would start to see how others actually see you. you’re so special, you just have to believe it.

scorpio: it’s okay if life takes little twists and turns here and there. you can’t plan out life exactly how you want it. there is undeniable beauty in the way that life takes us on a roller coaster that we didn’t see coming, and you just have to learn to enjoy the ride. people leave for a reason, or new people come into your life for a reason. you just have to give it all a little tiny bit of a chance and it could turn into something you didn’t know you needed.

sagittarius: you fear that you’re not doing enough for the people you love and the people that need you. but what you don’t realize, is that just you being there is enough. you have the most calming aura, and you’re the more amazing friend anyone could ask for. everyone sees how much effort you put into everything you do, and all they want is for you to be happy. don’t forget to be there for yourself, too. 

capricorn: you don’t bother people. it’s okay to reach out when you need help or if you just want to reconnect with someone you haven’t spoken to in a while. sometimes that outgoing soul of yours gets a little anxious, too. i promise you that you are not as alone as you think you are, and you are certainly not the only person who feels the way that you feel. you just have to remember that it’s okay to ask for help or it’s okay just to vent when you need to.

aquarius: you’re scared of people leaving you, but they wont. at least, not the ones worth keeping around. nobody will replace you if you’re not always happy, and nobody will betray you if you decide to tell them every bad thing that’s ever happened to you. you don’t have to be perfect for people to love you, they will love you much more once they see that you’re imperfect.

pisces: it’s not always sunshine and rainbows, but you can make it be. if you just got out of bed and decided to meet up with your old friend or picked up a new hobby or even went on a nice walk, you’d remember that you don’t always have to live life in your head. there’s so much to see and so much to do and it would be a disservice to yourself to not let yourself just live. you need to let go and feel free.

the signs as lines from john mulaney’s kid gorgeous

Aries: “I would never say that, not even as a joke, that my wife is a bitch and I don’t like her. That is not true. My wife is a bitch and I like her so much.”

Taurus: “College was like a four-year game show called Do My Friends Hate Me or Do I Just Need to Go to Sleep? But instead of winning money, you lose $120,000.”

Gemini: “I want to write songs for people in their 30s called ‘Tonight’s No Good, How About Wednesday? Oh, You’re In Dallas On Wednesday? Okay. Well, Then Let’s Just Not See Each Other For 8 Months And It Doesn’t Matter At All.’”

Cancer: “I was in Connecticut recently, doing white people stuff.”

Leo: “You spend most of your day telling a robot that you’re not a robot. Think about that for two minutes and tell me that you don’t want to walk into the ocean.”

Virgo: “I don’t know what my body is for, other than just taking my head from room to room.”

Libra: “In high school, people were like, “What are your top 3 colleges?” I was like, top 3 colleges? I thought I would be dead in a trunk with my hand hanging out of the taillight by now.”

Scorpio: “Fourteen years ago, I smoked cocaine the night before my college graduation. Now I’m afraid to get a flu shot. People change.”

Sagittarius: “Like years later, I’d be going down on some rocking twink in college and I’d be like, ‘Wait a second… What would Leonard Bernstein do?’”

Capricorn: “I don’t care for these new Nazis, and you can quote me on that.”

Aquarius: “I paid $120,000 for someone to tell me to go read Jane Austen and then I didn’t.”

Pisces: “My dad once grabbed me by the shirt and lifted me up during church and said ‘God can’t hear you.’”

incel passing incels: capricorn, gemini, virgo

incel passing chads: pisces, cancer, leo

chad passing chads: taurus, aries, sagittarius 

chad passing incels: scorpio, libra, aquarius

Wtf i trust astrology with my life now

ZODIAC TEA 👅👅

Aries — ur anger is corrosive. u love as much as u hate, but u hate more. all that red has made u regret so much, hasn’t it?

Taurus — stop being so stubborn. Literally clinging to ur pride will bring u nothing but loss & u know that’s true from past experiences! :)

Leo — if y’all stop placing ur self-esteem in material worth & appearances maybe y’all wouldn’t cry so much….

Cancer — learn that people come & go at their own will and no one “owes” u anything. U’ll Keep disappointing Urself otherwise.

Scorpios — U guys are so manipulative and toxic and only think of yourselves. And then u get surprised when people walk out on ur ass.

Virgoes — must u always overcompensate for ur insecurities in the most transparent ways?? we can see how sad u are.

Capricorns: I love how u guys use ur intelligence to break people’s spirits when all u want is for people to love u. It’s pretty. Destructive.

Libras: y’all too boring sorry no tea

Aquariuses: Dont b surprised if ur God-complex makes u a lonely fuck. Y’all can’t even commit to finishing a book, how can u commit to anything else???

Sagittarius: trying to be methodical and logical about other people’s choices won’t ever be helpful because you are NOT them. try listening for once in your LIFE.

Gemini: indecision is a decision. Don’t go wallowing in self-pity, u’ve done nothing to deserve it. Own up to ur faults and work on them instead of dramatising ur boring life.

Pisces: Stop getting exploited and thus exploiting others with ur emotional bs. All ur problems r solvable. Yes I said it.

Not clingy: Sagittarius, Taurus, Gemini, Aries

Low-key clingy: Scorpio, Capricorn, Aquarius, Virgo

High-key clingy: PISCES, Cancer, Libra, Leo

Save yourself some time and just take the advice

Aries loves starting new things Taurus loves material luxuries Gemini loves to communicate Cancers love to nurture Leos love to entertain Virgos love to perfect things Libras love to socialise Scorpios love to investigate the depths Sagittarians love the journey Capricorn loves the process&outcome of working hard Aquarius loves the community platonically Pisces has love (compassion) for everything

what each sign needs to do in order to grow

aries: you need to open up. let people truly know you and your struggles and what goes on inside of your head.

taurus: you need to express when you’re sad. so that it’s easier for you to move on and be happy and not keep it all in. 

gemini: you need to travel. to get out of the routine you’re used to and go on all the adventures you desire.

cancer: you need to love like you haven’t been broken. let yourself be loved and trust that not everyone will hurt you.

leo: you need to accept yourself. to not be so anxious about what other people think of you and let those negative thoughts go.

virgo: you need to meet new people. stop staying in your comfortable bubble and get to know everyone.

libra: you need to let your thoughts out. you keep so many things bottled in and it only hurts you and hinders you.

scorpio: you need to find love. not just in people. but in your passions, your hobbies, etc.

sagittarius: you need to love yourself first. to be able to stop putting people ahead of you.

capricorn: you need to take all the time you need to figure yourself out. to figure out your own thoughts and feelings and get them all in place.

aquarius: you need to be friends with people who are different from you. so that you can gain different perspectives and grow from them.

pisces: you need to be assertive. to not let people walk all over you and finally stand up for yourself.

whats it like to date the signs

Check sun and Venus

Aries: arguing about nothing, dance parties, making out just like the movies,  road trips, constant roasting, hella possesiveness, lots and lots of affection and attention given and received, extremely playful moments, clinginess beyond belief, jaw kisses & neck kisses out of no where, agressive but in a fun way

Taurus: helllla affectionate, like expect to be held, kissed, and hugged 24/7, super selfless always puts you first, lots of relaxing moments, tenderness, romantic as shit, their sensitive as shit when it comes to dating so expect dumb lil fights, wants attention b, hand holding galore, goofy as heck.

Gemini: Hickie freak, nickname queen/king, very dominating, kind of wild on a good and bad side, super responsible for you more than themselves, extremely playful, mean to you but loves the shit out of you, moody, literally puts your needs first, makes sure you’re happy 24/7, always looking out for you

Cancer: kinda b to buy you coffee and a donut every morning, plans fun dates, super sentimental like writes down all the cute shit,big hearted, just wants to cuddle, and make out,super sensitive to you, probably will cook for your ass or some cute shit, passive aggressive during fights, does a lot of little things for you

Leo: okay this bitch is gonna show you off first of all, treats you like a saint, filled with so much love, they fall for their partner fast so be prepared to be their world basically, super pouty and annoying when mad, needs ego stroked, bossy, weird as hell, y’all will be doin weird shit, literally just wants to please you in all ways oops, flirty 24/7, late night talks, PDA GALORE, hella protective and easily jealous

Virgo: such a little asshole to you but loves you to death, pushes your buttons, y’all will be belting some songs n shit, they really be playin too much but aye what do you expect, super touchy but in private, massages, pampering, cool adventuring like random coffee shops n shit, notices all your little shit, such a practical little lover but it’s so cute

Libra: charming as shit, naturally sexy, be prepared to be outdoors doin all kinds of shit and bein social, always has their significant other by their side(or it’s what they prefer anyway), romantic lil shits in a super intellectual way, kinda controlling, super simple, loves hard, super funny, also super mean to you but in a loving way

Scorpio: always got shit to say, super focused on you, steals yo shit, super seductive like oooh bitch, wants to know every little thing about you, inside jokes like the stupidest ones you can think of, admires you like you’re the center of their universe, cheesy like lets lay on the roof and watch the stars but only for their boo

Sagittarius: wants to try new things with you, loves tight hugs, cuddling, all that shit, will probably show and teach you new and weird ass shit, super creative in the things that y’all will do together, big love big, not a jealous one, super chill, likes finding views and taking you out, may get distracted easily, like really easily 

Capricorn: practical, nice job probably, takes good care of you in all aspects, loyal and super committed, old fashioned as shit, will literally take care of all the problems, loves being in control, big on cuddling and kisses, will always provide.witty as frick, lots of little arguments,will probs lie in bed with you all day, likes ass, sunset chasing

Aquarius: super innocent yet hella dirty jokes 24/7, brags about your ass, headass much? yeah, literally plans everything, probs texts first, super strange but in the most amusing way, difficulty showing love thru words but actions speak loud, stubborn lil shits, funny as heck, 

Pisces: Loud, outgoing, reminds you they love you all the time either thru words or actions, the most lovable lil things, clingy, clingy, clingy, will plan the future so quick like marriage and kids, big on love and sex, sensual, super faithful, shows lots of love, literally the type to write you some poems or some shit

Aquarius and accurate as shit

Aries: Smothers you with kisses when you’re hurt and also ready to kicka@& for you. Passionately grabs you, dives into intimacy, speaks freely.

Taurus: Wants hugs and cuddles but doesn’t always initiate. Rubs your back when you’re upset as well as maybe cooks/offers you food. Stable.

Gemini: Encouraging with words. Likes to hold hands or play with your hair. Wants to make you laugh and get you to share. Teasing and attentive.

Cancer: Cuddly, huggy, make-out seshes in private. Listens, pulls you out of the way of danger, bathe/showers with you, sleeps holding you.

Leo: Embraces you warmly. Passionate kisses. Generous with words and gifts.Never let’s you frown.Tickle or pillow fights or maybe wrestling.

Virgo: Makes you a cup of tea to calm you down. Wipes away your tears. Hand holding. Tight hugs. Grooms you. Lays with you for a long time. 

Libra: Light kisses, arm around you or holds your hand. Compliments and gifts. Always there for mental support. Teases you physically. Scorpio: Bites your lip. Caresses your face. Meaningful eye contact. Pushes you to heal/transform when down. Kisses your forehead. Lick… 

Sagittarius: Playfully poking you or tickling you. Makes you laugh when down. Tries to inspire or advise. Grips hard to bring you in close. 

Capricorn: Unexpected affection. Kisses you in the rain but complains about it later. Will be tough so you don’t have to be. Helps you up. Aquarius: Plays with your hand(s), traces parts of you, tells you not to worry when things get rough, picks your brain, makes you think. 

Pisces: Kisses the tears away, shares secrets, always knows what to say to make you feel better, cuddling, hiding under the sheets with you.

Don’t forget to look at your Venus or Mars. 

what’s ur sign and what’s the person you’re closest too sign

— This weeks horoscope (via late-nights-and-daydreams)

WHAT ARE THE SIGNS MADE OF?

Aries: The PASSION of a five year old that really wants to steal a cookie out of the cookie jar. The CHARISMA of a potato. A charismatic potato. The INTENSITY of an earthquake, rocking your world and your house since before years were a thing.

Taurus: The STUBBORNNESS of a child that refuses to eat their broccoli and will cry until their parents let them leave the dinner table. The COMPLEXITY of doing algebra problems without a calculator. THE DEPENDABLENESS of that one friend who always tries their best to not let you or anyone else down.

Gemini: The IMPLUSIVENESS of a middle schooler’s first kiss. The FLEXIBILITY of a professional gymnast, constantly flipping and turning 360 degrees at a time. The TALKATIVENESS of a child who just learned how to talk. You want to ignore them, but you can’t because they’re just so gosh darn cute. 

Cancer: The CARE a teenager has towards their new phone for the first week of owning it. The PASSIVENESS of someone who is always unaware of their surroundings, but for some reason always knows what’s happening around them. The GENTLENESS of a shiny glass cup, one mistake and they can be broken right before your eyes.

Leo: The DRAMATICNESS of an episode of pretty much every teen drama that has been on the air for way too long. The EGO of celebrities, always inflated and is constantly validated by others, either negatively or positively. The GENEROSITY of a teacher that decides to give the class another day to work on a tough homework assignment. 

Virgo: The PERFECTION of opening a new book and smelling that new book smell. The INDEPENDENCE of a tall and beautiful flower blooming in field full of dull grass and dirt. The CRITICALNESS of a Gordon Ramsay that spends his life roasting people on twitter.

Libra: The CHARISMA that Aries wishes they could have and 34 shades of more charisma on top of that. Loads of charisma. The INDECISIVENESS of someone who really wants to text someone that they like, but doesn’t want to come across as desperate. The PEACEFULNESS of feeling that everything is okay in life and being able to finally get a good night’s sleep.

Scorpio: The EVILNESS of a villain that just wants to be understood in this complicated world. The PARANOIA of someone that’s been hurt way too many times in another life and just came out the womb guarded. The WIT of someone who just mastered the art of sarcasm and refuses to talk any other way.

Sagittarius: The CURIOSITY of a child wanting to know where babies come from and will not stop until they get answer. The HONESTY of a mom that always wants to make sure that her children look as good as she does when leaving the house. The INTERESTINGNESS of that one strange toy from 5 years ago that you found while cleaning your room the other day.

Capricorn: The AMBITION of a grandmother making food for her starving grandchildren on a Sunday afternoon. The MATURITY of an adult who finally understands the concept of adulting and is pretty gosh darn good job at it. The INTELLIGENCE of Einstein, but it may not always be used. Trust me though, it’s there. 

Aquarius: The STRANGENESS of your cousin that everyone thought was going to be successful, but is now a professional hipster. The REBELLIOUSNESS of a suburban teen who just discovered rap music times one hundred. The DETACHEDNESS of someone who has not been able to find someone that they can fully trust yet.

Pisces: The CREATIVITY of doubt and security dancing together in a flame of inspiration. The INTUITIVENESS of a good friend that always knows when you’re upset and how to cheer you up. The COMPASSION of sweet child who just wants to make sure that everyone around them is happy.