the problem with reading and writing leading to a strong vocabulary is that you tend to know the vibe of words instead of their meanings.
if I used this word in a sentence, would it make sense? absolutely. if you asked me what it meant, could I tell you? absolutely not.
Also, you get the embarrassing effect of saying "vis-KER-al" instead of "viss-er-all" in your college writing class 😬
You gotta read and watch some old books and films that aren’t 100% modern politically correct. I’m not saying you should agree with everything in them but you need to learn where genres came from to understand what those genres are doing today and where media deconstructing old tropes is coming from.
Also, more often than you might think, they’re not actually promoting bigotry so much as “didn’t consider all the implications of something” or just used words that were polite then but considered offensive now.
Kill the censor in your head.
In particular—as part of learning about the craft of writing involves learning about the different ways people think (and thought)—it becomes vital to read and view things made outside your own period. Thus is because every time period has its own blind spots. To read or watch only one period’s works is to confine yourself inside a bubble where you will be forever unconscious of where your own time’s blindnesses lie, and will be condemning yourself to keep condoning/committing them.
Look outside. Learn other times’ habits, other times' virtues; and other times’ errors of thought (and style)... because it's a good way to keep from accidentally reinventing and committing those yourself. (And because some ideas and behaviors are, under the surface, depressingly cyclic. They just change their clothes.)
And something else to think about: A time will come when the writers / artmakers of the not-too-distant future will look back at our “modern” day and shake their heads and say, “wow, look at the way they were, could they even see/hear themselves? WTF.” Don’t assume that just because you’re working in a time when you’re trying to get things more right than in the theoretically less-moral past, that your time has it right either. Human beings, and the art they make, are by definition works in process. Keep your eyes open for the ways in which your work may need not only to eschew and surpass the errors of the past, but avoid and correct those of the popular present.
Is it "offensive" or is this product of its time teaching you WHY the content is offensive? Instead of being offended, maybe give yourself a high-five for being a better person. Or, if you feel attacked, maybe sit with the reason your beliefs are being attacked and try to understand why other people think it's offensive.
If you have not read this BEHEMOTH of a novel, I strongly suggest you do. If you want something that will enthrall you, scare you, amuse you, ruin your life and obliterate your soul, I CANNOT in good conscience let you go another week without this beast of a story.
Summary (from Goodreads): "It was her last chance:
Amber Bierce had nothing left except her sister and two tickets on Earth’s first colony-ship. She entered her Sleeper with a five-year contract and the promise of a better life, but awakened in wreckage on an unknown world. For the survivors, there is no rescue, no way home and no hope until they are found by Meoraq—a holy warrior more deadly than any hungering beast on this hostile new world…but whose eyes show a different sort of hunger when he looks at her.
It was his last year of freedom:
Uyane Meoraq is a Sword of Sheul, God’s own instrument of judgment, victor of hundreds of trials, with a conqueror’s rights over all men. Or at least he was until his father’s death. Now, without divine intervention, he will be forced to assume stewardship over House Uyane and lose the life he has always known. At the legendary temple of Xi’Matezh, Meoraq hopes to find the deliverance he seeks, but the humans he encounters on his pilgrimage may prove too great a test even for him…especially the one called Amber, behind whose monstrous appearance burns a woman’s heart unlike any he has ever known."
Guys. Guys. This book ripped me apart. Amber is simultaneously the best and worst sci-fi heroine, her sister is pathetic and terrible, Meoraq is probably the least sexy but the most BADASS MMC EVER and the rest of the cast is every stripe of humanity you can imagine. There's a guy whom I wished from page one would shut up shut up JUST SHUT UP ALREADY and fall in a hole forever. R Lee Smith's characterization is on point and consistent throughout the book.
This is a BRUTAL story from beginning to end, even for someone like me who LOVES reading gnarly survival stories. Not gonna lie, there are several instances of sexual violence - I don't like it, I don't condone it and I won't write about it in any of my work, but in this case it was used to really drive home the brutality of life on Meoraq's world. There are animal attacks and vicious fighting and horrific injuries, but again this is not a happy story. This is a very messy, dangerous world and it takes a lot of grit and no tolerance for squeamishness to survive.
As unpleasant as Amber can be at times, I sincerely liked her as a character. She's unpleasant because she was brought up under pretty bleak circumstances and her life on Earth just didn't get better. And it got even worse once she signed her contract in more ways than just ending up on a planet where almost everything is trying to kill her. The thing about Amber that I really respected was her instant realization of just how fucked she and everyone else is and her first instinct is to start looking for water, food and shelter. She takes initiative while everyone else is sitting around waiting for help.
I appreciated how R Lee Smith took me inside Amber's head and showed me her memories to either confirm or contrast with how angry she is at the way her life has turned out. Her sister is basically the sad polar opposite - none of Amber's grit has rubbed off on her, and as awful as the story ended for her, she kind of deserved it for the choices she made (or refused to make). In the end I just felt sorry for Nicci for having such weak character.
Meoraq is NOT a sexy guy. I love sci-fi romances mainly because I want to see what weird, freaky things people are into (myself included, lol) and I want to see how the author turned something that SHOULD be bizarre into something that makes me think "...you know what? Maybe I COULD..." Not Meoraq. The only thing I found even moderately attractive about him was his incredible knowledge of and experience with living as he had for as long as he had. And he was funny sometimes. But he could be SUCH an ASS. And yet by the end of the book I had developed an IMMENSE respect for the guy - if I'd been in Amber's shoes, I would PRAY that I'd run into someone as competent and self-assured at Meoraq, otherwise I'd be dead within a week.
I am not a religious person. I tend to keep my distance from organized religion because I have seen the damage religious fanaticism can do. That being said, Meoraq's STRICT adherence to his beliefs make a weird kind of sense once you get to the part of the book that explains WHY the faith he follows has essentially taken over the world. I kind of admire the guy for his extensive knowledge of his faith and its teachings, which is to say he understands it more than I think some IRL groups understand their religion's intent. I sincerely appreciate R Lee Smith's deep dive into what life was like for Meoraq as a boy, how his experiences developed him, and how his relationship with his god evolves through the story. The guy has some truly incredible faith and his religious experiences gave me some perspective as to why some people continue to stick with their faith in the face of undeniable evidence to the contrary.
Here's the thing, though - from day one of their meeting I wanted Amber and Meoraq together RIGHT NOW. They both have this "fuck around and find out" vibe that WORKS. From the very beginning there is a sizzle in the air as they work out how to communicate, and while I was annoyed with the other survivors for inferring that the two be bangin', I knew EXACTLY where they were coming from because it was JUST SO DAMNED OBVIOUS. There were many times I had to put this book down and yell at it because, and I quote, "oh my GOD would you two just GET IT OVER WITH??" And when they do, it's not pretty but by the time that happened I understood that it wouldn't be because of the world they now occupy. Again, this is not a happy story. There IS some happiness, though, and it's made all the more precious for being so rare.
I will say that this is a LONG book, and it deals with some HEAVY ideas. Many of which I don't agree with, but I don't regret reading this monster and I sincerely appreciate R Lee Smith's willingness to really push the boundaries of what the average sci-fi romance reader is used to or may find in good taste for the genre. This is a HARD book to get through (~ 1,000 pages long) for many reasons, the subject matter alone will be part of the reason I think most people will either avoid it or put it down. It's really dark and I wouldn't recommend it to someone who isn't ready for some of the nastier scenes (CW for sexual assault on men and women, animal violence, human-on-human violence, alien-on-alien violence, just a lot of violence in general, catastrophic events, and my personal non-favorite: BUGS) but if you're looking for something that will sink its claws into your mind and make you question everything about people, religion and humanity, then The Last Hour of Gann is my #1 pick for "you'll hate it but you'll love every second of it".
I saw another reader on Goodreads describe this as an "odyssey" and I 100% agree - this thing takes a week to read and it feels like a lifetime. Another called it "Epic Science Fiction" and I CANNOT agree more. It's epic, it's monstrous, it's graphic, it's downright horrible at times, but MY GOD I love this book for everything about it from the length to the characters (even the ones I hated) to the intense survival to the hilariously frustrating romance between two of the most stubborn, thickheaded people I have ever had the pleasure of being annoyed with. I stayed up late reading this damned thing TWICE and I'm going to do it again.
Disclaimer: I am strongly opposed to censorship in general. The world is a rough, difficult, dirty and dangerous place and it's just a fact that awful things happen and awful people exist. I don't condone rape or murder, but the unpleasant truth is that it happens on a daily basis. If that makes me a cynical old bat, then I guess I'm a cynical old bat. Anyway, the point here is if you pick up this book, do practice some self-censorship. You're the one who gets to decide if you like it enough to finish it. I don't know your story therefore I have no authority to determine what you can handle. But I do implore you to give this book a good old-fashioned try because I think it'll open some eyes and maybe give some perspective on the real world we live in. I got a lot out of this story and I think it's a damned shame that it's not more well-known. I believe that as sentient beings we have an obligation to push ourselves with respect to what we know and what we can learn, especially if we have to be made really uncomfortable to do so. I agree with a lot of the things people said about this book on Goodreads but I also disagree with much, but those are just my opinions. There's a reason I own two copies of this book, one physical and one digital, and if that's not a recommendation I don't know what is.
