My time Torture.

I never really had the chance to  decide for myself all the important choices I have made so far, my university for example ,I started studying Media and Communication Studies but it was my family who actually made me take this decision and at this point of my life I still wonder what will I end up doing because even though I'd like to use journalism to communicate important and meaningful messages to the people, is not what I really want to be. Only 5 semesters left to finish this career and the thought of working in social media it's already disturbing me because this country is very dangerous and very extreme situations happen here, I wouldn't like to put my own life in risk for this career or sit on a computer all day writing stories to just please a big company. 

It's a very complicated thing I have in my mind right now because If i don't get that job , I can't leave the country , I'd like to move to Germany but everything costs a lot of money and It is very frustrating to me to only have this option in hand, because my family has never supported me in the things I really wanted to do (practically If I didn't do what they said , they would have kicked me out of the house ).. And I definitely don't want to be an illegal immigrant in Europe because the risk of being deported back is too high , and I don't wanna live in fear all the time. 

Studies abroad are impossible for me right now because I have no money and the inflation is eating this country ,I think that the only way to get out of this country is to work my ass off , get money and pay studies abroad in Germany but then the TIME  comes to my mind.... I will graduate in the ends of 2015 and then I will have to work a lot for I don't know how many years more  to finally get the enough money to move.

All this has been eating my entire existence, destroying my sanity, my peace, my life , motivation... And I don't know what to do anymore and there's nothing I can do about it, People tell me to enjoy life but there's nothing to enjoy here... This society here doesn't suit me,I feel totally appart of the people from this country... This is not where I belong.