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#manny – @rip-davidfosterwallaceandgromit on Tumblr
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uss-edsall

Once upon a time there was a famous Greek captain.  This captain was very successful at what he did, for years he escorted merchant ships all over the world. Never did stormy seas or enemy vessels get the best of him. He was admired by his crew and fellow captains. 

However, there was one thing different about this captain. Every morning he went through a strange ritual. He would lock himself in his captain’s quarters and open a small safe. In the safe was an envelope with a piece of paper inside. He would stare at the paper for a minute, and then lock it back up. After, he would go about his daily duties. 

For years this went on, and his crew became very curious.  Was it a treasure map? Was it a letter from a long lost love?   Everyone speculated about the contents of the strange envelope. 

One day the captain died at sea.  After laying the captain’s body to rest, the first mate led the entire crew into the captains’ quarters. He opened the safe, got the envelope, opened it and turned pale. 

Six words were on the paper, three on three lines. 

“Port is Left. Starboard is Right." 

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argumate

can’t shake the devil’s hand and say you’re only kidding, but what if you go to give the devil a high five and then pull your hand away at the last second

absolutely dunking on the devil

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annadelveys

i just want to thank mr forster for making maurice a dumb jock and just absolutely owning it and rolling with it. like every other writer would make clive the nerdy repressed pretty boy to be the protagonist of their Groundbreaking Gay Novel but not my man e.m.! we’re sttraight up in the dumbass zone here and im loving it

readers: but why oh WHY is maurice being an oblivious jerk?! e.m. forster, an absolute legend: thats because he’s dumb as fuck :)

clive, leaning on some mantelpiece: only once you read Phaedrus you will understand the depth of my… inclinations… the plague of my soul… maurice who just came back from rugby practise, shaking mud off his hair: ive never heard of any fade-russ but i sure do love dick

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The meter of Sappho’s Titonus poem is apparently called “acephaloue Hipponacteans with internal double-choriambic expansion,” which sounds like something you could die a horrible death from

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zagreus

Rage Against the Machine and Florence and the Machine should tour together and do a massive jousting match at the end of each gig. You know, for funsies

hey hayley? i’m absolutely FURIOUS that you thought of this before i did

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crowley: wouldnt it be funny if you did the bad things and i did the good things?

aziraphale: haha yeah

*thousands of years later*

crowley: *gluing coins to the road* i am the ultimate evil

aziraphale: *trying to coerce a human to kill a child* just a little bit of murder wont hurt

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