I was reading The Skywalker Saga and it just hit me all over again exactly how this scene is set up–the Jedi Council tests Anakin, which requires him to actively use the Force, which means they sense his fear that he’s refusing to admit to, and Anakin asks what that has to do with anything. Yoda then launches into an explanation of how the Force works when it comes to emotions and the mental mindset you go in with. The thing is that Yoda’s not just explaining the Jedi’s view on things, he’s repeating George Lucas’ commentary on how the Force works, concept for concept, that this isn’t just the Jedi’s view, this is literally how the Force works. But what hit me was reading that line about Anakin standing in that golden glowing room, “Even as the sun set, bathing the room in flaming shades of red and orange, Anakin felt as if he would never know warmth again.” He’s standing in the warmth of the sun and feeling cold. So, why is he feeling cold? The next lines in this scene tell us exactly why, when you consider the context of The Empire Strikes Back–the dark side is cold. Anakin is feeling cold because he’s using the Force through his fear. Anakin is reaching out with the Force, knowingly for the first time, and he’s doing so through the dark side. It’s understandable why, but also this is a story where George Lucas has been incredibly clear that Anakin’s problem has always been his unwillingness to accept that things change, his unwillingness to let go of his fears, which is a central theme of Star Wars according to Lucas, that “letting go” is at the heart of his movies. It just hit me like a ton of bricks that what’s being conveyed here is that Anakin is during the dark side of the Force, that’s why he feels cold even when he’s surrounded by warmth, and the Jedi ultimately try to train him anyway, even when he doesn’t want to admit to his fears. It’s understandable why, there’s no chastising Anakin here, Ki-Adi’s words are described as gentle in the above book, Yoda’s demeanor is very kindly, no one says he’s bad, just that he’s not a good fit with them. And given Lucas’ commentary on Anakin’s unwillingness to accept Jedi philosophy (which is the same concepts as the themes of Lucas’ movies) and that, had he been found earlier by the Jedi, he would have been able to be trained better, it’s perfectly set up to show that. All of which breaks my heart for Anakin because I love him and I’ve been in that place where sometimes it’s really hard to admit your fear (but you gotta, if you don’t want to be consumed by it, even when it’s really, really hard to do) and ultimately the Jedi do agree to train him and they do trust him (look at Mace arguing in favor of trusting Anakin to make his own decisions in Attack of the Clones, when he’s sent to Naboo, for example! look at Padme pointing out in Revenge of the Sith that they trust him with their lives), and I can never decide if Anakin really was a good fit with the Jedi or not. Part of me thinks he was so close to rising up to face his fears and letting them go, but part of me thinks he made his choices over and over and over, despite having the training to know better, and never was going to accept that he had to let things go. Whatever the case, it breaks my heart for him regardless. I JUST WANT MY BABY TO BE HAPPY, SOB.