🎃 an ode to my horror mutuals 🎃

Incroyable

the colin trevorrow Rise of Skywalker script has some gems (kyle gets his mask welded to his face and rey murders him w a double-sided saber) but the rest of it is either so terrible or so ridiculously hysterical it makes me want to throw up laughing (hux realizes he lost the star wars)

OH MY GOD HE LOST THE STAR WARS

Jonah Hill has been kidnapped and replaced by an Athenian philosopher

An ancient Greek walks into his tailor’s shop with a pair of torn pants.

“Euripides?” says the tailor.

“Yeah, Eumenides?” replies the man.

This is so awful. It must go on to infect others.

That episode of clone wars where anakin and ahsoka dipped oit on their mission to go grab lunch at some normal-ass lookin diner. Like these bitches sat in a booth n everything. And then anakins like “i sense that something bad is about to happen” and ahsokas like “what?” N hes just “idk” and then they do absolutely nothing about it

anakin: senses a sith lord

anakin:

ahsoka:

them: burger n fry

let us not forget that like a week before savage opress was also in that diner. at the exact same booth. while looking for maul. ahsoka was sitting in savage’s massive assprint while he was getting screamed at by his long-lost brother and a talking snake in a landfill

i am so sorry to reblog and add commentary outside of the tags but i just watched that episode (twice) yesterday (don’t ask why) and anakin and ahsoka walk into that diner to enjoy a nice outer rim lunch MERE MINUTES after savage assaulted that poor minimum wage david bowie looking waitress working there. and they try to figure out what happened but the owner (and the cop bots) were all like “yeah this happens all the time out here, this is a real shithole planet” and anakin and ahsoka are just like. uh. well. okay then! what’s on the menu? 

not fifteen minutes later anakin and ahsoka are sitting at a booth and anakin is like “i think i am having… a panic attack…. and i don’t know why…… it feels……familiarrrr….” and ahsoka is just like well thats weird. you gonna eat those fries master?

This is what I have gleaned from skimming @residentmiddlechild's blog regarding the people in Dracula Daily

Dracula: Eccentric vampire. Actually fine, he likes train schedules. He walks a little funny sometimes but that's okay he has a lot of servants to remind him it's one foot in front of the other and not gecko form up the wall. I think he's a Jonathan Harker simp and that's why he didn't kill him on sight. Anyways he took a dive recently cause he stopped reading about transportation and now he's committing heinous crimes. He's very stinky too <3

Jonathan Harker: actually stupid and featuring some really nifty psychological issues idk how this is your protagonist I worry for him greatly. He is also a simp

Therapist: I only recently decided he is named Seward because I did. He is a silly man. I don't think he knows jack sh*t about what's happening in Johnny's life and he just stares straight ahead while Mii plaza music plays in his head except now he has taken a drastic career change after validating Johnathan once and now he's a cowboy. I think he eats paper too? Like he's racing his box spiders to the paper and he eats it. What is wrong with him

Lucy Westerna: She's got the coolest name here actually but I think she might be possessed. She has red trauma eyesTM so tjat's a sure sign her character theme will now be played in a minor chord when she enters the room

Arthur Holmwood: Married to the lady who might be possessed but I don't know if they actually got married cause it seems like wifey was more interested in nibbling on infants and becoming 2D to crawl under doors than get hitched but also that's okay cause Arthur has iron deficiency and keeps passing out so I don't think he'd survive the ceremony anyways. Thought Arthur was Jonathan for a second and then thought Jonathan was having an affair with Lucy, betraying his wife Mina who honestly I think was made up last second I feel like I never heard her name until this week. 

Van Helsing: Tbh this one-... I don't think he's all there. I think he needs melatonin and to not watch Buzzfeed Unsolved cause I don't think this man can handle anything else supernatural happening. 

 Mina: no discernable personality but she makes a mean cup of tea. Her tea could be its own HGTV show from how it's flipping people's houses actually. She napped so hard she forgot Jonathan #girlboss

Quincey: has a personal vendetta against animals who use echolocation. This is why he shoots at them, it's to deafen them so they can't fly and live anymore. Do not tell him there is a superhero named Batman I think he'll cry

Renfield: his psychic visions foretold all this but he likes keeping secrets and watching people fret over his cryptic warnings while kicking his feet like a schoolgirl. Also he wants to move but will not disclose why he wants to move or where because he's like that. I don't know why he's in this friend group. I bet he's the guy to say, "Wouldn't you like to know," if you asked what he had for breakfast. If he tells you to, "Guess what?" and you say what, he will keep telling you to guess obnoxiously.

I would like to know how Demeter is in this. Last time I checked, she was a Grecian goddess but I guess she's here too

French person: 80 French person: lol blaze it 

i just 5 to my knees I laughed so hard

this whole post makes me want to 7 something on fire

i’ve had e9 of this

THIS POST DOESN’T MAKE SENSE I DON’T GET IT AND IT MAKES ME ANGRY

Sweet, sweet 17tion.

10 is making me facepalm so hard.

I feel bad for people who don’t know what this 16

pray for the people who have to 8ness this

1! It should not have taken me this long to get this!

The 'worst' thing about 'Pietro' actually being Peter who's just forced to play Pietro, is when people simply talk or write fics about Pietro and I have no idea if they're talking about Pietro who's actually Pietro or Pietro who's actually Peter, playing Pietro.

this gave me an aneurysm trying to comprehend-

the macking cheese post changed my life

post-quest

Pippin: hey Merry, I have a question

Merry: alright

Pippin: if we were to take one of Sam’s children how long do you think it would take him to notice

Merry: ………..what why would you say that, what’s wrong with you

Pippin: I’ve just been thinking, he has so many, it might take him a while

Merry: it absolutely wouldn’t? they’re his children?

Pippin: but he has so many

Pippin: and he gets them muddled up all the time Merry

Pippin: I think we could get away with it

Merry: are you seriously proposing we kidnap one of our friend’s children??

Pippin: to satisfy our scientific curiosity

Merry: absolutely not??

Pippin: but our scientific curiosity, Merry?

Merry: no.

Pippin: bet you 10 silver pennies it takes him at least two days

Merry: Rosie will notice

Pippin: Rosie’s away all week

Merry: he probably counts them every night

Pippin: bet you he doesn’t.

Merry: …

Pippin: …

Merry: alright which one are we taking

*later, at Bag End*

Pippin: hey Robin

Robin Gamgee: :)?

Pippin: want to help your uncle Pippin win a bet

*still later*

Sam: *sitting down to dinner with his many children*

Sam: *notices empty seat* ???

Sam: *tallying up children* ????

Sam: …………where’s Robin

Elanor: I thought he went away with mum

Sam: no??

Sam: has anyone seen him?

Daisy: Bilbo knows where he is

Bilbo: I don’t!!

Daisy: he knows and he WON’T tell me

Sam: …

Bilbo: …

Sam: …

Bilbo: …

Bilbo: ….they gave me sixpence not to tell

Sam: WHO GAVE YOU SIXPENCE NOT TO TELL

Sam: *banging on door* OPEN UP

Merry: yes? :)

Sam: WHERE IS HE

Merry: where’s who

Sam: I WILL DECK YOU

Merry: he’s in the parlor

Merry: you realise it’s been three days

*meanwhile*

Robin, hearing the commotion: oh! my dad’s here!

Pippin: so he is

Pippin, opening window: this has been fun, bye now

*shortly*

Sam: where’s Pippin??

Robin, pointing at window: he ran REALLY fast

Sam, holding Robin: oh god oh god oh god

Merry: in my defence, I bet that you would notice right away

Merry: I lost.

Sam: I’m going to tell Rosie and she’s going to skin you

Merry: really

Merry: you’re going to tell your wife that while she was away one of your children went missing and you didn’t notice for three entire days

Sam: *laying his head down on the table* oh god

Merry: even Pippin didn’t think it would take you this long to notice

Sam: I’m the worst father in the world

Merry: *patting his shoulder* there, there

Merry: we fed your son a LOT of sweets and now he says he doesn’t want to go home

*still later*

Estella: so I hear you let Pippin talk you into kidnapping a child

Merry: ………………I have some regrets.

Merry: do you think he’ll ever talk to me again

Estella: I wouldn’t count on it.

I read this wrong, I thought Pippin was propsoing that they insert themselves into Sam’s family as his kids and see how long it took him to realise.

See he’d definitely notice that but if they just like… Inserted another child… Hm

pippin would go just,, show up at sam’s dinner table and sam would be like?? pippin what the hell? and pippin would sulk out of the house, little did sam know that pippin left his own child faramir in sam’s house. Diamond was furious. but thats how faramir and golidlocks met

Faramir Took: *chilling out at the breakfast table in Bag End*

Sam:

(alternatively: Sam would notice right away if a new child was inserted. Rosie however unthinkingly accepts the addition. Rosie is very tired.)

by alonglineofbread 

Well, that’s enough internet for me today.

this post teleported me back to 2011

times were simpler and red comic sans abundant

world heritage post

my legacy lives on

The brains in this post 😌🙏

I lost my braincells seeing this then they gradually revived

I just realised something.

It is (kind of) easy to write despair. It is easy to write something soul-crushing. It is easy to kill off characters and terrorise the readers with prompts and bits of terrifying scenes, horrific pasts and sheer, pure destruction. It is easy to almost glamourize all of that, and it is also easy to actually glamourize that.

But to write genuine, pure hope, is something hard. I’m not talking about light-hearted scenes, no, I’m talking about the core of the story. It is so incredibly hard to make hope the core theme of everything. It’s hard to make your characters stand after almost dying for the milionth time, it’s hard to not kill them off and instead give them an equally important role in the story that isn’t shock value. To make your story about hope is to accept that hope is not stupid, or silly, or anything like that. It is to know that it exists, and also that it hurts to have it.

And even harder than that, to make the reader feel pure, genuine happiness is a thing I find impossible to do and I am NOT joking. It’s not just humour or funny silly moments, I mean genuine happiness, a kind that is so powerful and deep that you know it is there even in the darkest of moments. I never could write a character that has such a deep, powerful happiness, because it is so easy to lose it to everything bad that can happen in a story.

I am not saying that you should not write about despair! Actually, to write something destuctive is to almost destroy yourself. Almost! It’s very hard to do that! But sometimes, it is even harder to simply… Not do that.

Hope in the darkness is HARD WORK.

Anyway here’s who’s writing the Disney+ daredevil series:

Thanks a lot for canceling the original series and replacing it with this shit Kevin feige you greedy bastard 🙁