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#hellsite – @residentmiddlechild on Tumblr
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what would you have me do?

@residentmiddlechild / residentmiddlechild.tumblr.com

Elsie | Christian | Multifandom. | English Major | I try to write fanfic, I'm bad at staying on task | Star Wars and Marvel comics have an insane hold over me | Ladynoir my beloved | Writing Side Blog: @imaginary-things-nothing-else
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there is no final version of yourself. we never stop growing or changing, nor should we. stop beating yourself up for not being ‘there’ yet.

The final version of yourself is the one you die in I think

Oh, well I don’t know how it works with you mortals

fun fact! this quote has gotten popular on twitter, where no one has any idea it’s from a tumblr shitpost, or of the horrors that lurk in the original notes

twitter comments:

tumblr comments:

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mahoganydesk

Twitter: This is so deep.

Tumblr: Only about six feet.

holy shit that last comment

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Every single odd number has an “e” in it.

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savvygooner

LISTEN-

Not all of them. 30 and 50 aren’t spelled with the letter e in it …

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antiandrogen

father god 

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abrown16

…if you can split a number in half evenly, it’s even. 30 and 50 are odd.

-_-’

(15+15=30

25+25=30)

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britteryikes

25+25 = 30? You sure about that??

Lord have mercy….

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kumasenpai

Bye

3 days into 2018 smh

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kwantsu

LMAOOOOOOO

One

Three

Five

Nine

And since everything else after that is a variant of these numbers, then all odds have the letter ‘E’.

🗣YOU FORGOT SEVEN!!

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thxrsdxy

It keeps getting worse.

LMAOOO WHAT IS GOING ON

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ellsworthej

My head hurts…

This is why that Tumblr University shit was the dumbest idea ever just look at this

who failed yall?

IM SCREAMING

You whole ass forgot about eight - a number with an e and is pretty fucking even

why would 8 be brought up if it’s EVEN in a post about ODDS??????? the post said “every single ODD number has an ‘e’ in it” not “every single number with an ‘e’ is odd” what the fuck

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emma-d-klutz

3 days until 2019 and we’re still here

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legowerewolf

happy New year’s eve

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prguitarman

I’m going to bring this flaming dumpster into 2019 so future generations can see what a mistake Tumblr was

Er, guys two is odd and doesn’t have an e. Just saying…

did you deadass just try to tell me two is odd? i’m fucking crying throw the whole website away

Reblogging for the last one😂

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kitsumekat

The one thing I notice is that no matter how much you want to throw this site away, you just can’t.

TWO IS ODD?!?! PFFFTT I’M SCREAMING

Wait what about zero that’s an odd number ,no?

ok but hear me out fifty and thirty make up for the fact they have no e by the way they are pronounces third-E fifth-E

bro why do 30 and 50 matter THEY’RE FUCKING EVEN

what the actual fuck is happening

1 is an even number

I’m gonna smack you

-30 and -50 have an e in them

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kurlyfryz

Wait why are we so quick to throw away the Zero idea

Zero isn’t a number

It can’t be divided by two though, can it

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toaster-120

It can??? 0/2=0??

OD NUMBERS

onE

thrEE

fivE

sEvEn

ninE

OD numbers huh?

Anything that ends with a 0,2,4,6,8 is even and the rest is odd (1,3,7,9) stop freaking out y’all

YOU FORGOT 5

DUDE WHAT ABOUT FOUR

What about it?????

THAT DOESN’T HAVE E IN IT

THAT’S BECAUSE IT’S EVEN?????

A R E Y O U G U Y S O K A Y

21 days away from 2020, folks.

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m-pennanti

Please tell me I can start the new freaking decade with a post arguing about something as stupid as this. Please. 🙏

This is art at its finest

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equalistmako

every time i listen to “you’re a mean one mr. grinch” i can’t help but sit there and think “what did the grinch do to hurt you?” because dude just stands there for 2 minutes and 58 seconds and drags the grinch into the dirt

he stole christmas, kayla! stop with your #notallgrinches propaganda!

you know what if someone told me i was a three-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce i’d probably be bitter enough to steal christmas too 

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prokopetz

Interestingly, though The Grinch Who Stole Christmas is narrated by Boris Karloff, the big musical number is sung by the late Thurl Ravenscroft - an American voice actor better known as the voice of Tony the Tiger.

My headcanon is that the Grinch and Tony the Tiger had a bad breakup, and “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” is the resulting breakup song.

Did this really HAVE to be the first thing I see when I opened up Tumblr?

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iguanamouth

oh god theres art

@altadude you know what must be done.

ive been avoiding reblogging this honestly but just. What the fuck. What the fuck tumblr

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magickspills

I apologize to all my followers for this

if i had to read this you do too

I have a hate-hate relationship with this

………

Good grief… I’m sorry, but I can’t not reblog this…

Tis the season bitches

DAMN IT WHY WOULD YOU BRING THIS BACK YOU HEATHEN

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logan-exe

Why is this on my dash?

…..I’m.. Bothered? by the fact that I’m not bothered by this.

You’re not bothered?? I’m not only not bothered, I’m freaking invested. I’m having actual empathetic sadness for The Grinch. I want them to go into couple’s counseling. I want the “ten years later” when Tony visits Whoville on business and meets the reformed Grinch whose heart has grown 3 times its usual size. I want them to reminisce over a shared dinner of roast beast and wine, then spend a drunken night together, then realize that maybe things are different and people really do change. I want a 3-act story where there’s a long dark night of soul searching and the realization that maybe we’ve all got a little bit of bad banana with greasy black peel inside us, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make a damned fine banana bread if someone will give us a chance. 

I’m bringing it back 5 years later, tis the season!

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versegm

Btw much as I love to make fun of twitter and reddit's business decisions, I have 0% trust in tumblr's management to not go a similar route so this is your gentle reminder that you should regularly go to your blog settings to export your blog. That's a fancy way of saying you can download a backup of your blog so if everything goes down you'll still have a backup of your posts & convos.

It's gonna come as a surprise to most of you, but if you don't want to do that for whatever reason you're allowed to not reblog this post. I'm not holding a gun to your head here I'm just trying to spread the word for people who do want a backup of their stuff.

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THis news is better than gay sex

wait. this is hilarious. They were contractually obligated to keep it, so when it was universally hated, they added an option to completely erase it from the dashboard without getting in trouble for removing it ...... "snooze tumblr live" is funnier than we thought

Guys literally all of this is good news ,..they're gonna be changing their approach to everything and focusing more on core functionality. which we all know this site needs. And they're not downscaling any part of the trust & safety team so moderation should .. at least not be getting any worse

“One thing I’m hoping with a more focused approach in 2024 is that we can streamline some of the extra things that were launched (like Live) that haven’t gotten the adoption we hoped, and focus in on the core functionality that people use a ton of on Tumblr,” he said. “We will likely be shipping less new stuff and more focused on improving existing functionality and core flows.”

“What’s super clear is our previous approach wasn’t working,” Mullenweg elaborated in another post. “It didn’t turn around the business to make enough money to support the investment of infrastructure and staff needed to run Tumblr, and a lot of users were unhappy with some of the changes we tried. There have been a few staff changes within the team, but basically what we’re saying is starting January 1st, 2024 we’ll try a different structure with smaller, more focused teams working on the core parts of Tumblr that people say they want improved. We’ll sunset or rollback some things we tried that didn’t work.”

They tweeted this 30 minutes ago

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fun fact!! it turns out that now when u make a new blog, tumblr forces you to follow 3-4 people before you can change your icon or modify your blog in any way!! this, of course, means that, yes, some of the "potential bots" many of us have been automatically blocking could have possibly been genuine new users who were only just seconds in to having an account!!! tumblr is literally screwing new users over!!!!

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dykecostanza

you can enter the most hyper-specific search terms into this website and it will literally always return kpop gif sets, sims mods, and second person imagine fan fiction about a piece of media you’ve never heard of in your fucking life

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jessiarts

[Shut off last version of this post to avoid possible continual spread of misinformation that was corrected by staff. Reposting clean with corrected info]

So I'm sure almost everyone knows about the porn bot problem by now, so here's a post detailing why it's a problem, and what we need to do about it.

First off, yes, always block the porn bots. Don't be mislead into thinking they're ok to keep around because they 'inflate your follower count.'

Firstly, no one cares about, nor can anyone even see, your follower count. Be free from the shackles that are the bullshit other socials told you was important. Don't let your ego be tied to a number. Having a lot of followers won't earn you any clout here.

Secondly, bots only follow blogs to try and legitimize their malware (and other dodgy) links. This post goes into more detail about that.

Now that that's out of the way, you'll need to know how to recognize a porn bot. This round the template seems to be:

  1. A profile photo of a pretty lady or guy, usually in their underwear, with a similar header photo.
  2. A bio with some combination of: [Age] // [Name] // [Location] // [Emoji] // [Top Bullshit% OnlyFans]
  3. URL consisting of a name followed by a number (i.e: firstlast999)
  4. Typically an empty blog, or if there is content, it's all dodgy links. Visible, but empty, Likes Tab, & occasionally a visible Following Tab.

You likely recognize the pattern.

So, what you want to do is, first, report the blog as spam On mobile it'll look like this:

On mobile you'll need to report spam first, and then go back to the menu again to block.

On desktop it will look like this, and unlike mobile, you'll be able to report spam and block in the same motion:

If I remember correctly,* be sure to "Report Spam", not "Report sexually explicit material" to feed the bots to the proper channels. Because the blog is empty, they haven't posted anything explicit that would violate TOS. However, staff can recognize a bot, and if you report the blog for spam (the actual problem) they'll take a look, more than likely find that the blog is posting or DMing dodgy links, and dispose of it.

And I think that's it. Here's wishing you all a happy and safe blogging experience!

[UPDATE: It was suggested on another post that the bots track your IP if you click on them to send more your way. However, someone from staff corrected and said this is incorrect. They also corrected the 'guilt by association' myth that bots following you can get your blog flagged by tumblr.

That said, that trail all led to another, easier, way to report/block the bots all from your Follower Tab instead of visiting each blog separately, unfortunately it only works on desktop:

(For newbies, click on the little person icon at the top right of your screen and scroll to find the Followers tab under the blog/sideblog you need to block a pornbot from.)

*I remember this information from a blog that used to be all about taking down the pornbots. Unfortunately I do not know if that blog is still active, nor can I remember the URL. If anyone knows what blog I'm referring to, and/or if they're still active, please feel free to tag them so others can follow them for more tips!

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My dudes, the bot invasion has gotten so bad that if you follow me and have an empty blog I’m now automatically assuming you’re a dodgy bot. I’m basically reporting every new follower as spam and blocking atm.

If you’re a tumblr newbie PLEASE reblog something, anything! Distinguish yourself from the bot invasion!

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