@residentmiddlechild / residentmiddlechild.tumblr.com
anyone else feel like they missed about 85% of 2021
I remember a boat and that’s about it.
The boat was this year??
I was laying in bed last night, thinking WandaVision was last year and realizing it was this year, but feeling like I’ve known everyone longer…
Supercarrier: fandom flagship. Everybody and their dog ships it. The fandom is glutted with artwork and fic. You cannot escape this ship.
Dreadnought: massively popular. Nearly everybody ships it. You can, with dedication, in theory, reach the end of the AO3 archive for the ship’s tag, but it’ll take a long time.
Cruiser: pretty popular ship. Not everyone ships it, but everyone knows about it. Has a good amount of fic/art, and probably multiple ask blogs.
Frigate: just plain popular. Feels like it could use more fanworks. New people to the fandom might not know about it, but they’ll stumble across it sooner rather than later.
Gunboat: bit of a rarepair. It might have an ask blog or two. A couple big name fans ship it. Probably only takes a few weeks to get through the entire AO3 backlog, and one new fic gets added during that time.
Tugboat: rarepair. Almost never seen except as a side pairing to a more popular ship. You can usually get through everything on AO3 in a matter of days. You’ve forgotten what it is to be picky about what you read.
Rowboat: less than a dozen people ship it. You all know each other. You exist in an endless cycle of the same five people desperately producing art and fic and one person who constantly contributes headcanons.
Canoe: you are one of maybe three people who ship it, and there’s a not-insignificant chance you’ve never encountered those other two hypothetical shippers. You spend your days paddling furiously in hopes of keeping the ship afloat, dreaming of the day you upgrade to a rowboat so you can finally rest.
Submarine: Quite a few people ship it, but nobody wants to admit to shipping it. Will randomly appear and throw the other ships into confusion.
Pontoon: that random crossover ship with that one black dress character/trope/fandom everyone will ship with everything else. Has the potential to turn into a massive party until someone gets sick and everyone goes home.
Pedalo: That iconic bizarre crackship whose proponents claim they’re only into it ironically, but secretly they’re all dead serious.
Paging @amythe3lder for the pool noodle definition.
Barge: Not quite seaworthy, but buoyant in both the literal and figurative senses. Someone is always merrily drunktweeting about it at 11pm on Saturday night and then wistfully sobertweeting about it 4 hours later from their kitchen floor. The kind of ship that generates more playlists than fic. Artfully covered in trash and dirty laundry.
Raft: There’s two-to-four people who Ship It Hard and a few others who grab onto the side for safety when there’s drama on their usual flagship.
Barrel: There’s orphaned fic of it. There’s unsigned art of it. There’s headcanon asks on anon. Someone must ship it, but no one knows why or who they are. Your friend got a glimpse once before they ducked back down.
Pool Noodle: It’s just you, kicking your feet. You named the ship and wrote it on your noodle with a big sharpie. You tell people about it and are met with confused blinking. Most of the fics in the tag were either written by you or for you. You are caught between wanting to shout about how lovely life is on this floating scrap of whimsy and fearing that your noodle can’t bear much weight. Or worse, that someone will come over and dunk you, take your noodle and fwhap you on the head with it.
This is a brilliant guide 😆
Ever Given: the fandom Supercarrier is, unfortunately, your NOTP, and it is impossible to find art/fic/meta of your preferred ship without being impeded by the Ever Given’s presence.
hey guys do you think if we all lean to one side at the same time we can jam the boat in the suez canal again
Wait I'm so out of the loop. Why do we want the boat stuck again? Is the boat bad? What did it do wrong? I'm lost
are you asking me if the boat is problematic
do NOT fucking interact if you support these problematic ships!!!
1. the ever given
so they unstuck the boat
literally could not make this up
sorry to tell everyone but not even an hour later it got unstuck again
end of an era ✊🏽
You’re still gonna see a bunch of “ship stuck” jokes on here for a few days because I queued them up and they’re funny. This is your notification that I know the boat is un-stuck, but my queue is a sacred thing that cannot be meddled with.
Forever stuck in my heart.
Superior work, everyone. Back to your regularly scheduled Dadaism and calls for unionizing.
so the ship got unstuck. wanna know how i could tell?
The entire internet the moment the boat got unstuck:
So are we all ready to contend with the fact that, if they get the boat unstuck in the next week, it will be a momentous event allowing passage through a waterway in Egypt……. during Passover
minecraft steve could unblock the suez canal in a single day
Not to be controversial but finding out that ever given was the result of Dr. Doofenshmirtz building a Canal-Block-Inator would make more sense than anything else that's happened this year.
I’ve been putting off joining the Evergreen madness that has taken over Tumblr but this has pushed me over the edge….
I’ve been reblogging ridiculous amounts of the Evergreen madness that has taken over Tumblr and this is just adding to it….
Of all the lines from "We Didn't Start the Fire" that I expected to be relevant this week, "trouble in the Suez" was pretty far down the list
Can’t believe that the 2020-21 version of We Didn’t Start the Fire now has an excuse to reuse the line “Trouble in the Suez”
OMG I forgot “Trouble in the Suez” was a lyric in the song; We Didn’t Start The Fire.
Omfg
