for some reason reading chalice of the gods made me think of this rlly dumb hc about like, kids of the big three being really "stating the obvious" bc they think its funny

the ground is literally shaking and Percy is like 'guys my dad was rlly angry i think there's going to be an earthquake'

Nico and Hazel looking at the skeleton of someone who's been gone for 200+ years like "Now, we are the experts, so don't be embarrassed for not noticing, but that guy is dead"

Thalia and Jason moments after a huge crack of lightning or when it's already pouring like "Call it child of Zeus intuition but I think it's going to storm"

a cow would tweet this

miraculous ladybug season 5 + text posts

and a bonus season 4

you’re laughing. lin manuel miranda was cast as hermes in the percy jackson show and you’re laughing.

This is what I have gleaned from skimming @residentmiddlechild's blog regarding the people in Dracula Daily

Dracula: Eccentric vampire. Actually fine, he likes train schedules. He walks a little funny sometimes but that's okay he has a lot of servants to remind him it's one foot in front of the other and not gecko form up the wall. I think he's a Jonathan Harker simp and that's why he didn't kill him on sight. Anyways he took a dive recently cause he stopped reading about transportation and now he's committing heinous crimes. He's very stinky too <3

Jonathan Harker: actually stupid and featuring some really nifty psychological issues idk how this is your protagonist I worry for him greatly. He is also a simp

Therapist: I only recently decided he is named Seward because I did. He is a silly man. I don't think he knows jack sh*t about what's happening in Johnny's life and he just stares straight ahead while Mii plaza music plays in his head except now he has taken a drastic career change after validating Johnathan once and now he's a cowboy. I think he eats paper too? Like he's racing his box spiders to the paper and he eats it. What is wrong with him

Lucy Westerna: She's got the coolest name here actually but I think she might be possessed. She has red trauma eyesTM so tjat's a sure sign her character theme will now be played in a minor chord when she enters the room

Arthur Holmwood: Married to the lady who might be possessed but I don't know if they actually got married cause it seems like wifey was more interested in nibbling on infants and becoming 2D to crawl under doors than get hitched but also that's okay cause Arthur has iron deficiency and keeps passing out so I don't think he'd survive the ceremony anyways. Thought Arthur was Jonathan for a second and then thought Jonathan was having an affair with Lucy, betraying his wife Mina who honestly I think was made up last second I feel like I never heard her name until this week. 

Van Helsing: Tbh this one-... I don't think he's all there. I think he needs melatonin and to not watch Buzzfeed Unsolved cause I don't think this man can handle anything else supernatural happening. 

 Mina: no discernable personality but she makes a mean cup of tea. Her tea could be its own HGTV show from how it's flipping people's houses actually. She napped so hard she forgot Jonathan #girlboss

Quincey: has a personal vendetta against animals who use echolocation. This is why he shoots at them, it's to deafen them so they can't fly and live anymore. Do not tell him there is a superhero named Batman I think he'll cry

Renfield: his psychic visions foretold all this but he likes keeping secrets and watching people fret over his cryptic warnings while kicking his feet like a schoolgirl. Also he wants to move but will not disclose why he wants to move or where because he's like that. I don't know why he's in this friend group. I bet he's the guy to say, "Wouldn't you like to know," if you asked what he had for breakfast. If he tells you to, "Guess what?" and you say what, he will keep telling you to guess obnoxiously.

I would like to know how Demeter is in this. Last time I checked, she was a Grecian goddess but I guess she's here too

it would've been 100% funnier if Edward's approach to getting Bella to appreciate her humanity was less begging her to not be a vampire and more....forcing himself to hang out with her human friends so she has a normal teenage experience lmao

#THAT IS EXACTLY HOW PALPATINE’S KIDNAPPING WENT IN CANON #YOU CAN’T CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE #HONESTLY WHY PALPATINE WANTED ANAKIN FOR AN APPRENTICE IS BEYOND ME #HE DOESN’T APPRECIATE ANYTHING PALPATINE DOES #YEAH SURE HE’S AN EVIL SCUMBAG #BUT IT WOULD BE NICE IF SOMEONE NOTICED ALL THE EFFORT HE WENT TO

did i just blow on my ice cream in an attempt to make it not so cold before I ate it? yes, yes i did

Meanwhile, on Twitter:

Brain farts, a thread

PLEASE WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS AJSKFKKA

I know the animators tried really hard but man just thinking of in universe gabe being all proud of this look makes me sjskfkks

In an effort to avoid supporting megacorporations, I shall now be posing questions directly to tumblr that I would otherwise have googled.

If Mayonnaise is just eggs and oil, why it creamy?

Because it's also evil

Thanks!

Have scientists figured out what dark matter is yet?

Yup! It’s anything that takes up space, has mass, and is goth.

Wow!

What happens if you eat 23 packages of peeps?

You meet god

Thank goodness!

What's the correct way to eat a banana?

Whole, in one gulp.

Delicious!

Who is the Muffin Man?

Father of the Muffin Boy

Makes sense!

Why is my car making a ker-klunk noise?

Car's haunted

Uh Oh

How to fix a haunted car?

Slam into a priest in a crosswalk going at least forty miles an hour

It worked!

Where does the wax in scented candles go?

into the sky, where it turns into stars

Cool!

Why are weddings so damn expensive?

priest has to pay for medical bills related to haunted car crashing into him

....Ah

i'm bored, pls don't judge me

watch the actual Wicked movie look better than this tho

@gormlesssentrydrone​

It’s actually very simple. You just bite the bus very quickly as it passes by for the magic to work, as portrayed in this artistic rendition

how DARE you leave this in the tags @gormlesssentrydrone​

"walker's nothing like percy" then what is this percy jackson behavior from his tiktok account huh

I got bored trying to study for exams, so I made a compilation of youtuber clips as xmen/wandavision characters. I figured I may as well post here since I spent time on it? the youtubers included are Drew Gooden, Danny Gonzalez, Kurtis Conner, Jarvis Johnson, and Scott Cramer. 

Don’t roast me too hard, this is my first time doing this and it was just for fun :)