@residentmiddlechild / residentmiddlechild.tumblr.com
The CIA tries to kill Clark Kent, not because they know he’s Superman, but because he’s a really good journalist. They keep making it look like an accident, but every plan fails. It’s a comedy as the CIA can’t figure out why their attempts always go wrong.
"bluh superman is boring bc he has basically no physical weaknesses he's completely unrelatable" YOU FOOLS YOU BASTARDS YOU IDIOTS his weaknesses is that he was raised to THINK and ACT and FEEL completely human!!!! The whole POINT is to explore what happens when you take a guy who mentally is a caring and kind and decent and conflicted and messy human person and contrast that with him having the all powerful abilities of a god it's about the CONFLICT it's about the TENSION it's about the DOUBLE LIFE it's about wondering if you can theoretically spend 24/7 saving people because you don't have to eat or sleep or breathe can you actually justify having a job or going to bed or falling in love or living a life!!! It's about being well known as being powerful so your public persona can never once slip never be angry never trip up or else you become a symbol of fear rather than hope!!! It's about having to also keep yourself in check every day and having to keep yourself of two minds and having to explain over and over and over again that you're not interested in dominance you're not interested in power you're interested in justice and mercy and help. It's about no matter what you are always subduing some aspect of yourself either your mind or your body depending on which role you have to play!!! And all of that is JUST on the introspective level!!! Superman is one of the most fascinating characters ever if you think he's boring imo it's bc you're being boring about it
seeing some people in the tags saying things like "ohhh I Get it now" or "well now I'm also a superman fan":
like why’s it gotta be so accurate
What’s fascinating to me is realizing that we simply ignore the glottal stop in every word that begins with a vowel when we speak quickly. Like unless you’re enunciating or speaking slowly you simply tell that glottal stop “fuck you” and hook the vowel to the previous consonant sound. Amazing. Glottal stops more like waste of time amirite
Wtf we actually talk like this don’t we
The CIA tries to murder clark kent and make it seem like an accident, but not because he is superman but because he is too good of a journalist, and they keep failing.
hey why does the superman stunt double from peacemaker look more superman than anyone they’ve ever casted
Sure, we'd all like to think Clark Kent dresses like a cross between a soft nerd and a lumberjack, but if we're going to be accurate and honor the fact that he grew up on a rural farm in middle America, we have to acknowledge that he probably wears camouflage baseball hats
this is what I mean
Clark never felt pain until after he became Superman.
General Zod: (punches Clark in the face)
Superman: (now understanding the concept of pain) Oh- This sucks ass.
Ma Kent: it’s- well… it’s like feeling sad but in your body.
10YO Clark: That doesn’t make any sense.
(Flashforward)
Superman: (dodging a evil alien) 😲 ohhhhh that’s what she meant.
In all seriousness he should have the worst pain tolerance of the entire JL
Batman, with six broken bones, a cracked collarbone, and internal bleeding: I can still fight.
Superman, with one bruise: Tell Lois… that I love her
I can’t chose my favorite fjdjfjdjd
The Clark Kent disguise is actually believable (for me at least) because I saw Sonic the Hedgehog and X-Men and somehow didn’t put the pieces together that James Marsden was Cyclops until like…MONTHS afterwards when my friend pointed it out. The glasses completely threw me off.
Wait that was James Marsden?? X'D You are not alone apparently.
Amazing how much covering someone's eyes can make them less recognizable.
YES. YES IT WAS.
AND ALSO YES. COVERING SOMEONE’S EYES 100% MAKES THEM LESS RECOGNIZABLE
Clark never felt pain until after he became Superman.
General Zod: (punches Clark in the face)
Superman: (now understanding the concept of pain) Oh- This sucks ass.
Ma Kent: it’s- well… it’s like feeling sad but in your body.
10YO Clark: That doesn’t make any sense.
(Flashforward)
Superman: (dodging a evil alien) 😲 ohhhhh that’s what she meant.
In all seriousness he should have the worst pain tolerance of the entire JL
Batman, with six broken bones, a cracked collarbone, and internal bleeding: I can still fight.
Superman, with one bruise: Tell Lois… that I love her
The first time Clark lost his powers he stepped on a lego and thought he would have to amputate his entire leg
What if he gets a sunburn after he lost his powers? That would be hilarious.
Clark: You have been on my side my entire life, but at my most vulnerable you turn around and stab me in the back
“Clark why are you yelling at the sun. Also you shouldn’t look straight at the sun like that, it’ll hurt your eyes”
Clark: ahhhh. The betrayal keeps piling up. You don’t understand *shows sunburn* it’s trying to kill me!
i don’t think superman gets enough appreciation for his cute little space cowboy boots
ma kent knew exactly what she was doing and she was right
Future State Batman/Superman #2
hshdhshd the contrast between Clark analyzing Bruce’s behavior and what he’s thinking about Clark while Bruce simply just thinks ‘He’s not dead. Good’ really sums up their relationship lmao
Make it this and I’m in.
Good lord, he even has the right face.
MAN OF STEEL
(insert “he has the range” here)
Full credit to the creator @ ThePandaRedd on TikTok who actually made this video (if he contacts me to take this down I will) but I couldn’t just not post yet another golden video of his after watching it...
Just in case people didn’t believe that it was a real scene...
in superman adventures #19, there’s a villain named multi-face who can convincingly disguise himself as anyone, even tricking dna tests and x-ray vision. Superman initially can’t stop him
and the only reason he gets caught is because multiface decides to disguise himself as, of all people, CLARK KENT i’m screaming
why do villains always mess up so badly
Clark Kent attending Bruce Wayne’s yacht party where Bruce told Clark to wear his clothes and……
This bullshit needs to get into the movies, not edgy-grimdark shit
I especially love the fact that, in many depictions, Bruce Wayne somehow ended up looking similar enough to the one Kryptonian on Earth that they can Parent Trap people
*Deathstroke bursts into the Legion of Doom headquarters* “Guys, you won’t believe this, but I think Bruce Wayne is Superman!“
today I learned that Clark Kent is sloppy drunk and I am in eternal gratitude for that
I’ve seen this post go around a couple of times and I’ve never seen anyone add the time that Clark somehow got high.
i say “somebody’s making brownies in North Dakota” whenever my irl bizarrely strong sense of smell is bugging me plz reblog so ppl will get the reference thx
i’m legitimately wheezing over “ta-da! sard borken!”
Always reblog for “I have no idea who this is”
