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#(i say as someone who has never been in a romantic relationship) – @residentmiddlechild on Tumblr
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what would you have me do?

@residentmiddlechild / residentmiddlechild.tumblr.com

Elsie | Christian | Multifandom. | English Major | I try to write fanfic, I'm bad at staying on task | Star Wars and Marvel comics have an insane hold over me | Ladynoir my beloved | Writing Side Blog: @imaginary-things-nothing-else
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hairtusk

btw one of the key components of actually being in a healthy relationship is just asking for things that you want. i keep seeing posts on this website saying 'i really want to do/receive [X] but my partner has never done it'. just ask. 'nobody exchanges love letters anymore' ask. 'i want to have my partner's hair in a locket like the victorians' just ask. 'i want to be bought flowers regularly :((' literally just ask. your partner doesn't know they're being held to these expectations and that you're unhappy unless you tell them. it's so unfair to expect your partner to read your mind. 'it's less special if you have to ask :((' grow up and stop pretending you're the lead in a romcom. when people say communication is crucial they mean it !! just ask !!

This is one of the hardest but most crucial lessons to learn if you have previously been in an abusive relationship. If a previous partner made you feel like it wasn't safe to ask for the things you want or need, it is very easy to fall into a pattern of never articulating your desires. But that's not fair to your current partner or to yourself; in a healthy relationship, you should feel safe asking for the things you want. It takes reflection, and work, and it is sometimes hard as hell, but trust me, it's worth it.

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