Last night, I dreamed there was this really popular youtube channel called “WolfpackDan”, and it was a guy who literally lived with a pack of wolves in the forest, just documenting daily life.

Now, I need you to understand that Dan was not some sort of Coyote Peterson type. He looked and dressed like someone who would pretend to get drunk off of non-alcoholic beer and say “bruh” unironically. He looked like the “bro I am straight up not having a good time” guy. But there he was, literally living in the forest with a wolf pack, recording and uploading videos with his phone.

One of his videos opened with him talking to the camera about “yeah, the pack went hunting today and just made a kill”. He turned his wrist to pan his phone over his shoulder, where four wolves are pinning down and tearing into a whitetail buck who is two gasps away from death.

“We’re actually hoping to make two kills today,” he added, panning his phone the other way to show two more wolves latching onto a second deer. “The Old Lady’s pups are growing really fast and it’s getting harder to provide for them. Once they can join the hunt, that’ll be a huge weight off everyone’s shoulders.”

He panned back to the first deer, where the wolves were now tearing into the meal. “I’m really hoping they’ll leave the pelt on this one intact,” he said. “I need a new cape. Winter is coming, guys.” 

The last shot of that video was him running through the trees with the pack, with a still-bloody deer hide draped over his shoulders.

I can’t remember any more of his specific videos, but the gist I got from them was that he actually was a contributing member of the pack (hence the “we”) and had been raised at least partially by the wolves themselves. Not sure how they raised him into this dudebro-looking twenty-something with a name like Dan, but they did?

Where did he get his phone? How did he pay for his data? Who taught him English? Why did he dress like that?

I have so many questions for WolfpackDan.

I don’t know why this is getting a lot of notes tonight, but I’m excited for all the attention WolfpackDan is getting, and I hope that–in whatever universe he exists–he’s getting a huge influx of subscribers and is living his best life.

Disabled werewolf born into a pack that lives wild most of the time, can’t transform. Keeps the others off camera when they’re human and just commits to the bit.

I love Wolfpack Dan.

The Boop Brothers

i'm well!!! very excited for Halloween!! how are you?

Yayy I'm so glad to hear!!! I am going well as well, also incredibly hype abt Halloween (except here. It Is halloween), I've been in costume for a few hours :D

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having viral posts is all fun and games until you have clowns in your mentions being like "well, op, i bet you also didn't know THIS" [haughtily explains something i absolutely would and do know] like add whatever to my posts that you think is informative just don't direct it at ME! i know! i just didn't include it in the post i made in 20 seconds because i didn't think 30,000 of you would see it!

i love these tags. WHAT was your viral post i need to know so badly.

Why don't they make stained glass fish tanks? Give those fish Catholic guilt

fascinated by the implication that it's the stained glass that gives catholics the guilt

reblog ONLY if prev is a mutual, i want to see how far this post can go

say in the tags what part of tumblr you’re on i’m so curious so see how this goes

reblog ONLY if prev is a mutual, i want to see how far this post can go

say in the tags what part of tumblr you’re on i’m so curious so see how this goes

Not its name

reblog ONLY if prev is a mutual, i want to see how far this post can go

say in the tags what part of tumblr you’re on i’m so curious so see how this goes

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