The book with the incest, the magic zoo boat, the talking snake and the talking donkey.
Balaam got up in the morning, saddled his donkey and went with the Moabite officials. But God was very angry when he went, and the angel of the Lord stood in the road to oppose him. Balaam was riding on his donkey, and his two servants were with him. When the donkey saw the angel of the Lord standing in the road with a drawn sword in his hand, it turned off the road into a field. Balaam beat it to get it back on the road. Then the angel of the Lord stood in a narrow path through the vineyards, with walls on both sides. When the donkey saw the angel of the Lord, it pressed close to the wall, crushing Balaam’s foot against it. So he beat the donkey again. Then the angel of the Lord moved on ahead and stood in a narrow place where there was no room to turn, either to the right or to the left. When the donkey saw the angel of the Lord, it lay down under Balaam, and he was angry and beat it with his staff. Then the Lord opened the donkey’s mouth, and it said to Balaam, “What have I done to you to make you beat me these three times?” Balaam answered the donkey, “You have made a fool of me! If only I had a sword in my hand, I would kill you right now.” The donkey said to Balaam, “Am I not your own donkey, which you have always ridden, to this day? Have I been in the habit of doing this to you?” "No," he said.
When your religion resembles Shrek, you don't get to demand "respect" for it.
Killing the world's only talking donkey also seems like a poor strategy.
You’re worshiping a book of fairytales and the characters therein.
It the bible was actually true, you wouldn’t need “faith.”
Source: twitter.com
Source: twitter.com
Seriously, joke beliefs are so last millennium.
#christianity#bible#bible nonsense#talking animals#talking donkey#talking snake#noah's ark#noah's ark myth#noah#noahic flood#global flood#Tower of Babel#Babel#flat Earth#6000 year old Earth#young earth creationism#young Earth creationists#anti christianity#antichristianity#anti bible#antibible#religion is a mental illness#atheism#atheist#science#science vs religion#religion vs science#anti religion#antireligion#religion
“iT’s A mEtaPhoR!1!”
Oh good. The god who made the serpent and opened the donkey’s mouth is a metaphorical god. Whew.
Source: instagram.com
Source: twitter.com
#bible#bible study#christianity#mythology#imaginary creatures#straight outta the bible#talking donkey#talking snake#talking animals#unicorns#unicorn#zombies#zombie#religion is mythology#anti bible#antibible#antichristianity#anti christianity#religion is a mental illness#atheism#atheist#myths and legends
Source: facebook.com
“My favourite character in the Bible is the talking donkey, which is also my favourite character in Shrek.”
-- Michael A. Sherlock
Source: facebook.com
Your god is beneath humans.
Source: ebaumsworld.com
religion-is-a-mental-illness reblogged
Source: twitter.com