"I'm a Christian and you can be a Christian too. Come drink the blood of my invisible friend. Come eat the flesh of my invisible friend. My invisible friend loves you. You'll meet my invisible friend when you doe. Why are you running?"
“At one point in time, many of us actually had Jesus as our personal lord and saviour. Unfortunately, we later had to dismiss him for incompetence, gross negligence, misconduct and consistent failure to show up for work.”
-- Anon
Imaginary incompetent employee.
Them: "Have you heard about our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ?"
Me: "Oh, you mean the figurehead for the Cult of Christianity?"
Me: "Of course! His birthday was moved to coincide with Santa's! Have you heard about our Warrior King and Emperor, Kahless the Unforgettable, through whom the path of honor will lead to glory in Sto-vo-kor?"
He can kneel before me, I’ll give him his safeword, then we can find something fun to do with the stigmata.
Source: facebook.com
Shouldn’t your savior be better at his job?
Source: protopage.com
That only works if you say it into a mirror three times on Friday the 13th while standing under a ladder holding a black cat. Duh.