mouthporn.net
#stra tek – @redshoesnblueskies on Tumblr
Avatar

Every Woman Needs a Pair of Red Shoes...

@redshoesnblueskies / redshoesnblueskies.tumblr.com

"Fandom is the great leveler of capitalism: whatever your product, whatever your narrative, whatever price you’re charging, we will find a way to surround it with vast, enticing fields of free content. (And porn.)"  -copperbadge
Avatar
Avatar
stra-tek

Random spoilerific reasons to read Star Trek novels, with little to no context:

  • Ro/Quark is a thing
  • A Jem'Hadar joins DS9, tries to fit in but eventually snaps and tries to kill everybody
  • You learn the origins and final fate of the Borg
  • A thinly-veiled Dr. House clone joins the Voyager crew
  • Geordi briefly has 2 girlfriends at once (due to different writers not co-ordinating enough, but still)
  • There's a TOS book that's a musical
  • There are YA stories about Jake and Nog making mischief on DS9
  • YA stories about Worf, Geordi, Picard, Beverly, Kirk, Spock and McCoy at SFA
  • YA series about the Kelvinverse gang (including Gaila!) as cadets, taking on a drug problem at SFA and a very unique Borg scout in San Francisco
  • We very briefly meet the people who are to Q what the Q are to humanity
  • Janeway/Chakotay is a thing
  • Kirk's first mission in command of the Enterprise! Erm, at least twice.
  • This is Tumblr so you all already know about Killing Time
  • Kirk was married between TOS and TMP
  • Her name was Lori
  • In the future, you have yearly marriage contracts that you either update or you don't and I think that's amazing
  • Trip didn't die! He faked his death to join Section 31 and go undercover as a Romulan
  • It's not great, tbh
  • The ENT books get better after the Romulan wars though, it's proper founding of the Federation stuff
  • We meet Jack Crusher (erm, the OG) when 4 timelines start overlapping and he's a bit unhinged
  • Teenage Kirk stole a car and his choice was go to jail or join Starfleet
  • What happened when Voyager got home? Seven broke up with Chakotay like 30 pages in
  • Kirk gets cloned, and his clone becomes the sub of an evil invincible super genius and its all very gay
  • George Kirk was Robert April's first officer on the first ever mission of the unnamed starship with the Naval Construction Contract 1701
  • Robert is a hard-core pacifist and has to turn command over to George whenever it's time to fire weapons
  • Data becomes fully human for a couple of days and it's really sweet
  • They never say "wristwatch" or "phone", it's always "wrist chrono" or "personal comm"
  • There are gays but they don't say that word because it's the 1990's and Rick Berman runs the franchise
  • Spock has a son in the past with Zarabeth
  • Everyone in the post-Nemesis era does spy missions all the time non stop, as if Starfleet has abandoned exploring the cosmos for doing Space Mission: Impossible
  • Bashir does it better than anyone else, he takes on Section 31 from the inside
  • Remember Control? It's from the novels, except the novels do it SO MUCH BETTER.
  • Remember how we never found out who Future Guy was? We do.
  • It's very underwhelming, nobody we know
  • We find out how the Romulans and Vulcans split
  • Surak was a Vulcan internet blogger
  • A Borg Cube eats Pluto
  • Janeway dies
  • Janeway gets better
  • At least one TOS book features a wizard
  • There's a Star Trek TOS/Here Come the Brides crossover novel
  • It had cameos from The Doctor (as in, Who), Han Solo, Starbuck and others
  • Whole book series about Section 31
  • Whole book series about the Department of Temporal Investigations
  • One time they do the Bill and Ted thing to escape confinement and it works
  • Wanna know how Riker and Troi met?
  • Wanna know what Picard got up to on the Stargazer?
  • Andorians have 4 sexes and it's very complicated
  • Data comes back from the dead as Data 2.0, and it was fresh and exciting because it happened long before ST: Picard did it twice.
  • Lal comes back too and we get father/daughter android stuff! They have a home and everything but keep having to save the universe
  • One time Mirror Seven is led around on a leash naked on Terok Nor
  • Geordi becomes captain of the USS Challenger, decides it's not for him because plot, and goes back to engineering on the Enterprise
  • Kirk is shot on the bridge and dies
  • Kirk gets better
  • They watch 3D holos of old Doctor Who episodes in the Enterprise rec room
  • The Enterprise also has an AI named Moira, which was Zora long before Zora
  • The TOS crew get together for one last mission. About three times.
  • There's a Perry Mason book except it's about Kirk's lawyer from that TOS episode
  • Data 2.0 owns and runs a massive gambling empire on Orion
  • Spock keeps randomly showing up everywhere in the TNG era
  • Scotty keeps randomly showing up everywhere in the TNG era
  • Bones keeps randomly showing up everywhere in the TNG era
  • You're on Tumblr so you already know about Killing Time
  • There's a guy named McKenzie Calhoun and he's a total badass and captains a ship of weirdos and misfits
  • Kirk comes back from the dead, saves the galaxy repeatedly, has an intersex child (who identifies as male) with a Romulan/Klingon hybrid
  • Kirk beats up Worf
  • Kirk's child has superpowers
  • Kirk's child saves the galaxy at age 6
  • The Kirk stuff is 100% ignored in the other novels
  • About 50% of the novels are ignored in the other 50%, and the ones that are meant to be in direct continuity with each other aren't always quite
  • Just like the TV shows and movies, then
  • Lwaxana Troi meets Q, and it goes as well as you'd expect
  • Someone tells Data, yes you idiot you had emotions all along and he's like, oh shit you're right
  • McCoy is left in command of the Enterprise as a joke by Kirk, who is then immediately kidnapped
  • Ro Laren is captain of Deep Space Nine
  • Picard/Beverly is a thing, they get married and have a child named Rene. No running away and raising your kid in secret here
  • Riker and Troi are married, serve on the Titan together with a bunch of adorable weirdos and have a daughter named Tasha
  • You get to watch all thr 24th century characters die horribly in the end along with their entire universe. Holy fuck it's a bleak horror show. Personally, I love it. But if that's not your cup of tea I'd skip the Coda trilogy
Avatar
spacefinch

I need to know what books these are, ASAP

You are using an unsupported browser and things might not work as intended. Please make sure you're using the latest version of Chrome, Firefox, Safari, or Edge.
mouthporn.net