@digitaldiscipline is an instigator and sent me the Feetza image so I had to try making my own version. They aren't as elegant or realistic as the original but they came out WILDLY better than I expected.

[ID: five pictures total. The first is a screengrab of a chat where digitaldiscipline has sent me a meme showing a flatbread sculpted to look like a foot and captioned "Feetza". I reply that I'm going to have to make one. The next three images are progress photos of the "right" foot, first plain, then with red sauce and cheese and pepperoni but not cooked, and finally fully baked. The last image shows both Feetzas, the left one with pesto sauce instead of red sauce, looking footlike but also delicious. THEY WERE.]

LET’S TALK ABOUT THIS...

…because what exactly happened here?

This gif came across my dash and I watched it 50 times, could not stop laughing, drank some wine, and decided to break it down frame by frame.

So here we have Steve scampering down a bustling street, immediately after getting super sized, having Peggy Carter touch his boob, and watching his mentor get murdered. Steve discovers he is very fast. Steve is also in a mood.

He hasn’t figured out how to maneuver his Big Boy Body yet, and looks like a baby giraffe wobbling to the water hole. 

But all seems well and good, until…Steve does something stupid. Even though his weird Hobbit feet have no problem running BAREFOOT down a grimy street in 1940s Brooklyn, apparently stepping in a puddle is beyond comprehension…so he jumps the curb and tries to sashay away…

FROM A GARBAGE WATER PUDDLE. ABORT MISSION. He also looks like a velociraptor here for some reason, with the hand claw.

AND NOW THERE IS TOO MUCH MOMENTUM (btw this is my favorite Steve Rogers face of all time and I laughed for 5 minutes when I got the screenshot)

HULK SMASH THROUGH THE WINDOW.

Steve literally left a Kool-Aid man shape in the window. I bet Steve drinks the Tropical Punch Kool-Aid because it sounds like it could kick your ass. He probably also drinks Hawaiian Punch (the red kind). Steve is very obvious and has no chill.

Sidenote, these shoes are adorable and I want them.

ANYWAY HERE’S THE KICKER. Steve Rogers can’t step in a fucking PUDDLE with his dainty super feet, but apparently he can stomp barefoot through broken glass?! Sidenote 2, the other night I broke a wineglass on my floor and the next morning I stepped on a T I N Y shard of glass and I needed 3 band-aids. 

Then he races off into the sunset, leaving a that poor traumatized bridal mannequin face first on the ground, flashing her lady bits for the world to see. I hope that store was able to submit an insurance claim to the SSR.

Anyway, the point of this story is that I learned the short-cut to screenshot things on my computer and this is what you guys get.

Nobody wants soggy feet, Kris.

Nobody wants soggy garbage poo feet

This is an amazing post but I can’t let a discussion of the bare feet go by without sharing my favorite part of this scene to wit

THE FEET SHOES

To film this scene, and this is perfectly normal for barefoot scenes apparently, Chris Evans wore shoes shaped and colored to look like his feet. 

They are deeply unsettling in close up, especially with no feet in them.

Foot in mouth disease.