Working To Be Better

It’s been four and a half years since I quit smoking cigarettes.

It’s been six years since I last tried to end my life.

It’s been eight years since I last cut myself.

But before that? I went back and forth on all of the above. I’d quit and then relapse. Again and again and again.

My point is that it’s normal! You aren’t a failure if you relapse into whatever habit it is you’re trying to break. And you can try again!

And even if I relapsed tomorrow, I wouldn’t lose my progress. The knowledge and coping I learned aren’t just going to disappear. And I can try again. It doesn’t make those times I did well just disappear.

Please be more compassionate with yourself. Recovery isn’t linear. So, when you’re struggling with it, please just remember that you’re normal. You’re human.

You weren’t abused because you were a “bad child”. You were abused because they were abusive.

They only said those things to try and find some justification for their abuse.

You CANNOT lose a month's progress in an hour. If you fall back or you do something you're not proud of, that does not undo all your hard work.

You've formed habits, you've made changes, and one mistake will not erase that.

Beating yourself up for falling back into old habits won't undo anything. All you can do is continue forward toward your goal.

Remind yourself of everything you did that you were proud of. Remember the progress you made. Acknowledge your power.

Please don't punish yourself for that moment when you lost control. You weren't weak, you aren't a failure, and everything you worked for is not ruined.

ten years ago you were so scared of such different things, but you survived them anyway. the same goes for five years ago and two years ago. everything that has ever felt like a hurdle, you’ve passed through. so be afraid, identify your fears, and then allow yourself to remember that in just a little while, this will be another thing that you have overcome.

nothing is permanent and you can overcome everything. give yourself credit for all you did and remember about your strength. give yourself breaks ofc, but don't give up. there are also great beautiful joys ahead just for you to enjoy and not only scary things you need to pass through.

if you can help your mental health by saying no, just say no

Humans need to eat at least every four hours in order to provide a consistent energy flow to our brains! Eating is necessary for life. You deserve to eat.

if you are someone who struggles with motivating yourself to attend to your chores, take care of yourself, or feel drained by the thought of hoarding so much responsibilities, i want to share a tip.

if you happen to be standing for some reason, try to complete all tasks that you usually do up standing. so for me, once i am on my feet, i do a sequence of activities like brushing my teeth, washing my face, ironing my clothes, brushing my hair, organizing my stuff for college, making my bed etc. without taking any break and i am able stack around 5 tasks comfortably. also, once the momentum is built, it gets easier!

similarly, if i am at my desk, sitting, i usually have my laptop there and always some work that needs to get done for college, admin or miscellaneous purposes. i try to do as much as i can.

this is particularly helpful for me because i am a big bedrot. especially when i am in pain or uncomfortable in general.

i just thought maybe it will help someone out there. this same hack might go in vain for me in a few weeks lol and i am just always figuring it out to push myself to be a functioning adult.

anyways, i hope u r taking care ♡

work to achieve your goals and help others achieve theirs along the way when you can

Friendly reminder that it’s OKAY if you’re incredibly productive one day but can’t get out of bed the next. That does not necessarily mean that you are regressing with your progress.

Our energy comes and goes, and it takes a while and a lot of practice to find a perfect balance. Take time to recharge yourself without feeling guilty for it!

Chores can wait, friends can wait. You are the most important person in your life, so feel free to take your time to heal.

It's okay to feel disappointment

It's true that there's nothing to be ashamed of if you take longer than other people to graduate college, or wait until you're older to get married or have kids. It's true that it's okay you're not seeing anyone or you didn't get the job you wanted

But it's also okay to take a moment and feel disappointment if things haven't gone the way you thought they would

It's okay to be sad after letting people go because they were not loving you the way you deserve to be loved.

I need you to know that it's okay for you to grieve all the choices you made, all the 'could have beens', all the things you thought would happen and the 'almosts'.

We always have guilt about the road not taken and a sense of loss. But I need you to know that you are brave for choosing yourself, for choosing to let go of things that no longer make you feel alive.

So the next time you feel guilty for saying no to something that would have resulted in heartbreaking situations, I hope you remind yourself that you are worthy of love and happiness.

You are worthy of a life that fills your heart with joy, even if it means making difficult choices.

It's okay to feel sad in the process because your emotions are valid, and healing takes time. But always remember that prioritizing your own well-being and happiness is an act of courage, self-love, and self-respect. So, keep your head up, because in time, you'll realize just how brave and wise you were to make that right decision.

stop ignoring yourself. fix your posture, get a fresh haircut, drink water, take care of your skin, eat food that gives you energy, declutter your space, take time to rest, workout, do mindful meditation, fix your sleep schedule. when you feel/look good, you do good. invest in yourself, put the effort you deserve.

You deserve love.

you are not responsible for how other people behave.

You don't need a reason to distance yourself from people. If they give you bad vibes then you deserve to honor that gut feeling and protect yourself. Even if they're not doing anything wrong or bad or even if they haven't done anything to you. You can just straight up not like someone, no context necessary. That's valid af and there's not enough emphasis on intuition and gut feelings. Yes, absolutely. Listen to your instincts.

It is okay to make mistakes. You are going to fail at times in life, and that is okay. That is part of existence. You make a mistake and life will continue on. You are not defined by your mistakes.