no hot just mess

If this ain’t me

this is such a funny thing to call someone out for im losing my goddamn mind

Grieving Octopus widower looking for eligible spider-sons near you

Bonus:

Tobey Maguire Spider-Man "it's a hard knock life" fancam hours

How does it feel to have conceptualized the perfect Spider-Man trailer op

Dr. Olivia Octavius

HEY AUNTY YOU WANNA TELL US SOMETHING

I just wanna remind everyone that there was a time in the Spider Man comics that Aunt May was gonna marry Doc Ock

and throw in that this would be a GREAT continuity to bring that back in.

Mx. Moz did fan art of that cover. Link to artist https://twitter.com/MLeeLunsford/status/1084990686892453888

I love the implication that every other spider was invited to the wedding and did nothing to stop it

I understand the appeal of wanting every adult hero to instinctively adopt teenage Peter Parker, but can it really beat the hilarity of acknowledging that at 15 Peter was 5'10", unusually buff, went by a moniker with Man in it, wore a creepy full face mask, and had a tightly guarded secret identity and probably a Queens accent thick enough to have come out of a jello mold, and adult heroes reasonably responded to him by going, “Wow, this grown man is an immature asshole for no reason.”

Way funnier to me than adult heroes finding out Peter is a teenager and becoming Concerned is the idea of adult heroes Retroactively finding out Peter Was a teenager because he admits to being like. 22 and they’re like “Hang on you’ve been doing this for like. Seven years.” and he’s like “Haha crazy right? Anyway it’s too late for you to yell at me about that because the statue of limitations on that lecture ran out when I turned 18”

YEAH this trope is instantly more tolerable if it’s fully adult Peter being like, *listen up whippersnappers because I’ve been around the block voice* “I’m thirty, and—” and Tony Stark, who vaguely assumed Spider-Man is maybe two years older than him because he just has that energy and hasn’t reassessed this for four presidential terms, is like, *drunkenly doing math* “You’re how many”

Okay but…them trying to talk about Old People Stuff with him, not realizing that he wasn’t alive to remember xyz thing happening, never used xyz technology bc he didn’t exist yet, not expecting him to agree with the fact that some ppl were saying songs they grew up to were oldies, etc

The thing about Peter Parker is that he was raised by senior citizens the way other heroes are raised by wolves. He has the body of an Olympic gymnast and the soul of a malcontented geriatric. This likely contributed to the perpetuation of the accidental ruse.

It’s when he channels Aunt May so hard he makes it sound like he was personally and immediately affected by McCarthyism that the time traveler fringe theory starts really picking up bets.

Pal, I JUST SAID he was raised by AUNT MAY.

Also not to get real on a ha ha comic post but the elderly are not your enemy. There are old progressives.

Peter has a lot of feelings about the woman that discovered DNA and he strikes me as the kind of person that thinks that distancing yourself from notable figures of history by using their last names is stupid, so he’s going to say something like, “Rosalind worked so fucking hard to have that work snatched from her,” immediately followed by, “I woulda thumped him good,” and inspiring Tony and Banner to frantically look through the 1930s and 40s yearbooks at King’s College and theorize which one was Spider-Man. Captain America tries reminiscing about the good ole days with him. Peter, for his part, has been absently agreeing and making vague “I’m listening” noises about the Rolling Stones and Elton John for the majority of his life, so adding baseball, Duke Ellington, and Ella Fitzgerald to the list wasn’t that much of a stretch.

There are only like three genuinely funny additions on this, but this is one of them.

captain america pushing a get out the vote campaign: ‘spiderman did you vote’

spider’man’ at 16: uhhhh so about that 

“I…can’t.” “I see. That’s why it’s so important to restore voting rights to felons.”

That’s made funnier by the fact that I feel like Steve’s natural assumption would be that Spiderman’s a non-citizen, so him jumping straight to felon is like, Peter just has such strong criminal vibes.

Steve: What’d you go in for?

Peter, panicking: Jaywalking!

Steve: This prison pipeline needs to stop.

From this post ☆(･ω･*)ゞ

tHERE IT IS

YOU FOUDN IT OMFG

This is literally my favorite set of comic panels ever.

I connect with these panels on a spiritual level

this boy literally has a superhuman sense that warns him of danger in advance, but still makes decisions like these.

I think this belongs here

Reminds me of a certain feral someone

@ chlorocyanide on reddit

Deadpool: It’s a teenage boy with black hair and blue eyes. I am legally required to pull a Batman.

Support me on Ko-Fi!

Spidey Sense vs Ghost Invisibility

Danny is visiting NYC with his fam for a ghost convention or something (as one does) and decides to do some sightseeing. 

The Amazing Spider-Man by Lee Gatlin

i’ve been reading spider-man/deadpool for the past week and it’s a wild ride

based off this post

god im just thinking about how much going to public school in the MCU would’ve made me hate captain america. every time i got caught giving some bitch the finger or writing on bathroom walls or ditching class or stealing books from the library cause i got a fine or what have you, and then they gave me lunch detention or ISS and i sat in that dumbass eraser-smelling room and im in My Chair (the chair i always sit in and yell at anyone else who tries to take it), fuming, arms crossed, full of teen angst and hating everyone around me, and AGAIN had to watch this stupid fucking video ive already seen so many times that i know it by heart and every word grates on my eardrums and i’d just see this fuckin familiar face

and i would be ready to LOSE MY SHIT

Villain Origin Story

god imagine Steve giving Peter his Captain America is Disappointed in You face/lecture over something dumb and Peter just fucking dissociating and zoning back in to “Peter! Are you even listening to me???” and looking him in the eye and being like “I’m completely immune at this point. You can’t even touch me.” and walking the fuck away

canon.

the real reason why Peter agreed to fight cap at the airport

( ✤w✤ )

Tony Stark’s A+ parenting

Spideypool Wip by *iesnoth