@real-live-human / real-live-human.tumblr.com
been trying to tag shit semi-consistently for a change so i felt like making one of these for my tags. everything's under the cut, no promises about remembering to tag everything but i try. if i do forget or you'd like me to tag something for filtering purposes lmk!
So while I was getting my haircut, the lady asked me if I had other plans for the day and I said:
“I’m just going to pick up the boy from daycare and then it’s date night.”
And the lady says “Oh! How old is he?”
“He’s three.”
“Mine too! Where are you registering him for kindergarten it’s such a hassle-”
And that’s when I realized I said “boy” and not “dog” because I always think of Charlie as “good boy” but this slip up has lead to a miscommunication.
The lady is now 6 minutes into a clearly needed rant about how unnecessarily complex shopping for schools is, esp when you have a neurodivergent child, so I can’t just tell her that Charlie is a dog because then she’ll feel awkward for unloading on me and she clearly has enough going on.
So the rest of the haircut became a game of “how much can I say about Charlie without revealing that he is not a human child?” And the answer is “enough to cover a half hour hair appointment, quite possibly several hours worth if I’m specific enough”
“is he very verbal?”
“It really depends on who he’s with. He’s very quiet at he but won’t shut up if he’s at the park or has a friend over.”
“was it hard to potty-train him?”
“he’s adopted, but I was genuinely amazed at how good he already was with hygene and potty stuff.”
“mine’s just obsessed with paw patrol and Frozen, drives me crazy!”
“I imagine. Charlie is colorblind so he’s not as into tv, but he always wants a toy if I take him anywhere with them.”
“oh gosh the toys! And the kids are so rough on them!”
“yeah Charlie can destroy a stuffed animal in about 2 minutes, so I only buy him the really cheap ones.”
“Does he throw tantrums when they break?”
“Not really. It’s meditative, really, taking them apart. He has hysterics if the cat takes his toys though. Runs downstairs and cries at me until I retrieve it because he’s not tall enough to get it out of the cat tree.”
The Very Good Boy in question, Charleston Chew.
(if you want to read more of my much weirder adventures, I have pre-orders for my book on Patreon right now: https://www.patreon.com/gallusrostromegalus )
Hmm.
06 April 2017
We all got that one vassal who's read a few too many warrior tales... Trying to get a little freaky with it on the down low... Won't shut up about his loyalty unto death... Saying shit like "my liege, I am your blade...." Bitch I sent you to guard my isolated holdings in the eastern provinces for a reason!!!!!!! #REBLOG!!!!!
"Horror" could include graphic movies, horror games, creepypastas, etc.
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We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.
okay, another poll because theyre fun and i like to make them. this one is about the amount of predator vs prey 'types in the community.
if you have multiple 'types, please vote for the majority of them. so for example, if you have 3 kintypes and 1 is a predator but the other 2 are prey, please vote for the prey option. if they are equal, please vote whatever option you see fit.
obviously if your 'type doesnt eat food or isnt part of the food chain, vote n/a (unless you see fit to vote otherwise).
when hamsters are born they see a silver thread that connects them to their gruesome and peculiar death and they follow it like soldiers marching to war.
When They Met but dramatic
this has been sitting unfinished on my pc since may, so there might be some continuity errors
Reverse allegory of the cave
you can shake him. he enjoys it
Jem’Hadar Fighter
Today's Seal Is: Crevice Creeper
