🦁Rawrs🐯

Wanted to write down some stuff about my first Durge

Ilona (they/them), Dark Urge

Race: human? Probably human

Age: 26 although they don't remember this. Their companions assume they're the youngest at camp, a combo of their chubby baby face and behaving immaturely.

Class: Oathbreaker Paladin

Personality: Orin did a real number on them. Friendly, cheerful, and sweet if you can look past the horrors. Very high charisma just as you’d expect from a cult leader. Painfully lonely making them rather clingy to those they’re close to. They’re naive and easily manipulated by attention and validation. They have a bit of a temper and are often very stubborn.

Romance: Astarion. They’re partners in crime, twin flames, they see each other and they’re healing together. At first they were just an easy target for Astarion, desperate for his attention and easily swayed by his approval. They’re not sure why they were so drawn to him but something about him felt so familiar and comforting, to them it was love at sight. They win him over with their friendship and unrelenting trust in him. They not only protect him, but rely on him just as much. He knows they need him just as much as he needs them.

The Urge: At first it controls them completely, their mind a blank slate with nothing but the urge. However, slowly as they regain a sense of self through their journey and friends they begin to resist. In the past they’ve needed a lot of “guidance” from Fel, their urge used by Bhaal to punish and control them. They long to be free and refuse Bhaal in the end.

Some little facts: They’re a little chubby and very sensitive about it. They have a bit of a drinking problem. They have pretty bad anxiety from well everything. They never learned how to read. They adore children and animals. At one point they had a pet cat named Slaughter, Slaughter didn’t last long. They really love their family, especially Saravok. They’ve always wanted to learn necromancy. They’re the reason Balthazar is so protective of his chambers. It was their idea to recruit Goblins, Gnolls, and Orgers. They wear a silver locket with a small lock of black hair inside, they don't remember who's but looking at it makes them sad. Their nice camp clothes were a gift from Gortash, not that they remember.

Past: (tw: vague mention of sexual assault) They were only six when they killed their foster dads. After, they were kept confined in the temple with Fel and other worshipers always at their side, grooming them to be the perfect Bhaalspawn and one day lead the temple. They faced quite a bit of abuse at the hands of the temple. The brief moments of privacy they got they would use to sneak out of the temple. These were usually uneventful walks through the sewers and under city before they were tracked down and dragged back home.

Been think about some angst with Ascended Astarion and Chosen Dark Urge. Like after defeating the nether brain and after they’ve been come a spawn completely under his thrall, how do you think Bhaal would feel about that? What do you think is stronger, the will of a vampire ascendant or the will of a god? Both battling for dominance over durge’s mind.

Astarion doesn’t use his power over them very often, he doesn’t need to. And Bhaal’s urge usually isn’t an issue, after all murder and vampirism go perfectly well together. But eventually the god grows weary of his perfect spawn being a slave to a pompous lord and freedom is only one bite away.

When the urge took over and they bared their fangs to their love and master, they were cuddling in his chambers. Astarion clung to them as they pressed little kisses along his jaw trailing down to his neck. So comfortable, so safe in their arms he almost missed the sharp point of his precious spawn’s fangs scraping against his neck. But as he felt the pressure of them biting down he jolted out of their arms, commanding them to stop. The heart break he felt at their betrayal masked with rage. At his command they loosened their grip on him hesitating just enough for him to get away. With their fangs bared and eyes glazed over they looked like little more than a rabid animal. He hadn’t seen them like this in years, not since that night in the shadow cursed lands. Astarion commands them to stop, to come back to him as Bhaal urges them to attack, to drain him of every last drop. They scream and contort as their mind splits in two, every neuron in their damaged brain a battle ground and Bhaal is winning. They stagger towards Astarion twitching and off balance, as he tries to concentrate all his power on controlling them. They lounge at him with a ferocity he had only seen them unleash upon their victims. They barley caught his wrist in their maw, tearing at his flesh rather than piercing but it was enough. As his blood ran down their throat, his power over them faded. Just as his will left them so did the urge leaving their mind empty and broken but free.

Musing about my Durge’s past. As the young leader of the Bhaal temple I imagine them having many dangerous connections in the city’s underworld.

They also very much have a type. You wouldn’t believe who they fell for after Orin hit their reset button. Thankfully they have no memories or things may have been a bit awkward between them and a certain vampire spawn.

Chewing on the idea of Astarion and durge crossing paths before the main events of the game.

Considering the temple of Bhaal and Cazador’s dungeon both connect to the sewers perhaps as the temple leader Durge had to work with him to avoid any vampire vs cultist turf wars.

Maybe even out of fear Cazador extends an invitation to durge, a “we can help each other please don’t kill me” invite. (Astarion even says in game Bhaalspawn are far more feared than vampires)

Or you can’t tell me the local vampire lord isn’t involved in the city’s criminal underworld putting him in contact with Gortash who introduces durge. Maybe they’re simply a plus one to one of Cazador’s balls.

It seems like durge was actively seeking allies to bring about the apocalypse. What would be a better ally to a murder cult leader than the local vampire lord?

Whatever way they end up in the crimson palace it’s Astarion who is ordered to entertain them. Because of course he’s the one ordered to attended to his master’s most dangerous guest. And they’re simply not interest in his flowery words or the kind of entertainment he has to offer. Nor do they harm him either because Gortash told them to behave or because they don’t want to risk the confrontation with Cazador for killing one of his spawn. So they just chat maybe Astarion even warns them about his master only for the dark urge to laugh it off.

Or even just bumping into each other while they’re out hunting for prey. Crossing paths in a dark alley or the sewers. Maybe they set their sights on the same target or maybe even target each other only to back off. Astarion realizing his target is far too dangerous and Durge realizing he’s undead there for unfit to sacrifice to their father. Maybe they have an awkward chat or some playful banter before parting ways to find their next kill.

Of course dark urge has no memories of any of this and Astarion doesn’t bother to remember every face he comes across. Maybe he vaguely recalls encountering a Bhaalspawn but they’ve changed so much since losing their memory he would never recognize them now.

Totally adore that Astarion is all about the dark urge doing weird fucked up shit right up until the point he realizes they’re not acting of their own free will.