The Rantiest Ceratops

Every time I woke up last night my brain was like “bears!”, and then I went back to sleep.

Not even joking, lmao. This is what I get for watching Brother Bear. XD

Brother Bear is such a criminally underrated movie. It's always been one of my favorites.

Catch me always crying in the club at the confession scene and when Koda gets to see his mom again at the end.

Every time I get my hair cut/shaved again, I just feel such euphoria when I look at myself in the mirror. I feel strangely more confident in myself (even though I’m still shy introvert hermit). I feel more like how I want to be.

I miss being able to chest bind, even though I didn’t do it much because my chest is too big for it to make much actual difference. (I’ll have to get a new binder).

I really wish my chest was flat. I should be able to be shirtless. I shouldn’t have these shitty things on my chest that I don’t want and get sexualized all the time.

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I hate gender.

I want to be a dinosaur.

I want to lay down and sleep for a thousand years.

I want to feel passion and joy again.

I’m sure it’s very normal cis behavior to have a dream that someone from your weird nonsense dream work got top surgery and was shirtless and you felt super fucking jealous.

Me not sleeping for work tomorrow and instead drawing Danny and Artemis interacting while having a brain meltdown over anatomy (female anatomy in particular) and also looking up Artemis for reference and realizing that I somehow have stupidly been drawing her crossbow holster on the wrong goddamn hip for a decade???

It's more likely than you think.

Today has just been a War of the Worlds day for me, lol.

Re-reading the novel, watching the 2005 movie. Good shit, imo.

Read the book originally in middle school I think, and was fascinated by the movie as a kid, too.

Honestly the references YJ does to it are so great; “Uh, H.G. Wells?”, “The martians are coming, the martians are coming!”, the aliens in Failsafe.

(I’m trying to get myself back into reading and had the book on my Kindle, so.)

Me with romance today

Not me reblogging shit to the wrong blog, lmao.

My bad, nothing to see here.

Ngl kinda finding the gif sets of Ca/lum flying up to his starry “one-truth” Ray/a kinda gross.

In the same vein that the Spit/fire “limbo” scene also makes me wanna gag for different yet similar reasons.

Me desperately looking for YJ content but feeling myself go glassy eyed with disinterest when all I see is post-season one content.

I just don’t care about the rest of the series anymore. I genuinely don’t. It’s awful.

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Probably beating an old dead horse, but there’s barely a year to year-and-a-half gap between Dick and Artemis. Wally was born in 1994, he’s fifteen. Artemis was born in 1995 and is probably barely fifteen. Dick was born in 1996 and literally turns 14 in the last season 1 tie-in comic.

I just think “ew omg two year gap!” is a really bizarre hang-up, out of all the (valid)reasons to not ship them. They’re all teenagers with barely two years between them, everyone is also past puberty if that’s some weird hang up(???). There’s nothing gross about it.

People are weird about teenagers. People ship Aang(12/13) with Katara(14/15) and no one bats an eye. People ship Dick and Wally, and no one bats an eye.

I don’t get it.

This is just a me problem, but I'm going to stop feeling guilty about liking things, and feeling like I have to explain myself. I'll reblog whatever ships I like, whatever friendships I like, whatever found family I like, and I'm not going to explain myself.

I like shipping. Sometimes I like it less, sometimes I like it more, sometimes I get really into it, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I'm a bit romance and sex-repulsed, sometimes I am not.

I am not less of a person for shipping or not shipping, nor less aspec for either/or. I am very much sympathetic and aware of amatonormativity and other factors as an aspec, but I've somehow convinced myself that means I can't like shipping. Wrong.

I literally am just a person and I like what I like and I'm not going to keep policing my own mind like I have to be a certain way and fit a certain criteria to just fucking exist.

I spent last night stressed and depressed and wanting to die and cry over the dumbest fucking shit. So. This is hopefully an end to it.

I tag my shit, including ships, so either unfollow me or blacklist my tags if I happen to reblog content that isn't fun or nice to anyone's eyes. I try to keep stuff tagged for this reason.

This post isn't directed at anyone, this is just me... putting my foot down to myself. I need to take steps to work on my mental health and this is one of them. No one brought this on but me, I'm just tired of feeling this way.

Bruh where all the Traught friendship/pairing metas? Analysis? I'm in such a moooooooood!

-vibrates-

I wanna draw.

Nothing angers me more than scrolling through a blog on mobile, then when I’m balls deep into scrolling, it for some reason closes out or goes back to my main feed. And then I have to go back and scroll to the pits of hell once more or just give up.