Thinking about this today

Reblog if you, ace spectrum or not, would rather have a dragon than sex.

Is it a trained dragon?

Yes. And friendly and will protect you.

Absofuckinglutely. I don’t care if it’s a five ton beast that will intimidate my foes or a five pound dragon that squawks more than it roars and will mostly glare fiercely at you if you annoy me. I want the dragon.

gimmie the fucking dragon

hell yeah I rather a dragon instead of sex.

Some bit of my brain rephrased this as ‘would you take an oath of chastity to be a dragonrider’ and now I sort of want a fantasy story about an order of dragon nuns. But. Yes. Dragon! What sort of silly question is that?

Of course the dragon is better what nonsense is this

Somehow, given that this is tumblr, I expected a lot more comments about “but what about sex WITH the dragon”

look, i was behaving myself

imagine if the oceans were replaced by forests and if you went into the forest the trees would get taller the deeper you went and there’d be thousands of undiscovered species and you could effectively walk across the ocean but the deeper you went, the darker it would be and the animals would get progressively scarier and more dangerous and instead of whales there’d be giant deer and just wow

you have a beautiful imagination

obsessed with tumblr giving me a banner to celebrate ten reblogs on my post with *checks notes* …a million notes

The devastating difference between how much time it takes to write something vs how fast people read it lol

you're falling in the trap!! it will be read by many people, many times, and it will live on in their memories. and maybe no single other human will match you in time spent dedicated to your story, but as a collective we will outlast you. acts of creation only grow when they are shared

This. Writing is not like dinner. It can be consumed many times

y’know as much as self-sacrifice gets made out to be super noble and shit in a lot of fiction, i am. very much more in favor of the message “you can live. you can want to live. it is a good thing to want to live, and it is a good thing that you are alive. you don’t have to feel guilty for being alive.”

idk it’s what i really needed to hear when shit got bad and honestly it’s what i still need to hear sometimes and it’s what i want the people i care about to believe about themselves.

self-sacrifice is still sacrificing someone. it’s not inherently noble just because the person is you

random bitter aspiring authors on "writing advice" blogs: Don't make your main characters super special mary sues. don't make them better than other people or more interesting. your main characters should be boring average guys with the personalities of wood pulp

the Epic of Gilgamesh: Gilgamesh was objectively the best man ever. He was the hottest, sexiest, most gorgeous hunk of pure manly awesomeness that ever lived and he used a sword that weighed 120 pounds.

The lesson here is that your main characters can be as special, overpowered, and unrealistically skilled at everything as you want, as long as this has the purpose of driving the plot via all the problems they cause (because they're an egotistical nightmare and a gigantic raging asshole).

The second lesson here is that no matter what randos on writing blogs say, people like stories where the characters are unique and iconic. Or at least they remember them.

(I have a theory that the stories that form long-lasting fandoms, and/or are recognized and referenced frequently in pop culture, are stories that have the same sort of "iconic" elements that are long-lasting in folklore and mythology. I think superheroes are particularly well suited to lasting centuries/millennia into the future because they're just so simple and memorable conceptually.)

Hi my name is Gilgamesh Hammurabi Ziusudra Euphrates Ishtar and I have the same heroic build as my lordly ancestors (that's how I got my name) with bulging muscles and chiselled features moulded by the goddess Aruru, and icy blue eyes like the limpid waters of the Great Flood, and a lot of people tell me I look King Enmebaragesi of Kish (AN: if u don’t know who he is get da Kur out of here!). I’m not related to Ishtar but I wish I was because she’s a major fucking hottie. I'm a demi-god but I'm not immortal. I possess extraordinary strength. I'm also a king and I rule a city called Urduk, where I force my subjects to erect lots of ziggurats (I'm known for my cruelty). I’m a Sumerian (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly animal skins. I love the forbidden Cedar Forest and I slay and skin all my beasts from there. For example today I was wearing a skin made from the Bull of Heaven with a matching sheep hide skirt, gold armlets, a carnelian headband, and black combat sandals. I was wearing black kohl eyeliner to ward off conjunctivitis. I was walking outside the twin peaks of Mount Mashu at the end of the earth. I came across a tunnel which no man before me had ever entered, which I was very happy about. Two guards that were giant scorpion monsters stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

This is objectively genius writing but the size of the audience that can properly recognize its brilliance is so small

I'm just glad to be part of it

Characters should be satisfying.

Like.

That's the whole of it.

If you create a perfectly unremarkable Everyman and he's satisfying at it, congratulations you've succeeded.

If you create a perfectly ridiculous demigod that's clearly six people's worth of talent stuffed into a single absurdly-attractive human suit and he's satisfying at it, congratulations you've succeeded.

A Mary Sue is just an overpowered-standout character that isn't satisfying.

A bland protagonist is just an Everyman that isn't satisfying.

I mean, there's craft involved---the protagonist's interaction with the story and all its components (genre, setting, plot, other characters, prose, narrative mood (you can get away with a shitload of sins if you mock them while you're committing them)) will play a tremendous role in satisfying, or failing to satisfy, the reader---but that's the bones of it. That's your goal. Write characters that satisfy, and then communicate, via summary and synopsis and cover art and blurbs, what sort of story it is so as to attract the kind of readers who will be satisfied by it, because people have different tastes---

---but seriously, just. That's your goal. Satisfy. The. Reader. Build your character into a person, give them interesting traits from the get-go and refine them over time, make their interaction with plot and setting and other characters an ongoing deeper look at them and provide interest at each new reveal. You're an ocean designer placing enrichment items for the scuba diver who is your reader; you want to fill your character and your story with beautiful reefs and interesting fish, a wreck in the far distance that once they get there still has its wheel and its bell and its capstan and a moray eel nesting under the remains of the poop deck, and maybe some Christmas tree worms.

Stuff to continually reward the undertaking.

You can do this with an everyday person, and you can do this with a god. Good, evil, underpowered, overpowered, normal, unique, anything can be interesting if you find the right scale and focus to show it to good effect.

That's what the whole concept boils down to.

Satisfy.

Game with hyper-detailed soulslike movement mechanics but it's about children playing tag.

Bonus points if it’s still got the medieval fantasy aesthetic and NPCs who cackle madly but it’s still fundamentally about children playing tag and that fact cannot be escaped

talk street magic to me

drawing power from the metro lines

illusionists busking illegally, shimmering lights disintegrating as they run

plant mages tending tiny rooftop and windowbox gardens

elementary kids learning basic sigils on the playground

wixen taking a while to key into the magic in new cities when they move

alchemists dealing on the side to support their experiments

middleschoolers making friendship talismans and amulets for everyone

numerologists who’ll do your math homework for $5 or divine your fortune for $10

kids mass-texting luck and speed spells when their parties get broken up by the cops

Hell yeah, let’s talk about magic.

Like elementary kids learning silly (or inappropriate) charms from each other on the bus, the same way we learned our first swear words. Clapping games across the bus aisle, but with spells instead of rhymes.

Worrying that your friend is getting into dark magic, but not knowing how to talk to them about it. Intervention programs for kids abusing hexes and runes, because magic has given them control over something for once in their life, and they’re starting to make some dangerous choices.

Psychic teachers knowing when you’re cheating. Knowing when you’re having trouble with homework. Or at home. Knowing when you need tutoring or an AP course because you’re just not being challenged or a different teaching method because you can’t process what you’re learning in class no matter how hard you try, and the teacher tells you it’s okay, they know. They know.

Magic graffiti. Graffiti in wild places, and graffiti that vanishes when certain people roll by like the police. Or graffiti that only appears when the police walk by to insult them. Murals. Swirling, living murals on the sides of buildings. Murals that—if you listen closely—can be heard, not just seen.

In the evenings, kids hiding out in someone’s backyard or an alley passing around a joint and casting minor illusions to watch while high.

Chalk artists making works that are so realistic, they come to life off of the sidewalk.

One man bands in the park, with instruments floating around playing themselves.

Punk concerts in empty lots with amped out music and lights, but noise-cancelling spells and illusion hide them in plain sight from anyone outside of the lot.

Mediums predicting people in need, and making sure to be there at just the right moment to lend them a helping hand. “You seem upset, do you need to talk?” “Oh, you’re a dollar short? No, don’t put the milk back; I’ll cover you.” “I think your hair looks perfect today.” “You really ought to try taking your resume to this store. Trust me.”

Necromancers in forensics speaking with the dead to solve homicides and cold cases. Living lie detectors as beat cops and detectives and DEA agents.

Strangely cheap five star food diners that bake actual love into their apple pie, and they always know your dietary restrictions without being told.

Service golems in various sizes and shapes, making sure their magic users aren’t crowded, get medical attention, go where they need to, etc.They don’t get distracted, they can be hollow to hold things like medications, and in rare instances… they seem to develop loving attachment to their users despite not being alive.

Little old landladies who dabble in witchcraft brewing homeopathic remedies for people in their apartment complex.

Street magic is an amazing concept.

Galvatron should be a healer class in  the next videogames

“Keep fighting you fool!”

“If you die on me I’ll kill you!”

“Autobot scum, I have power to spare!”

“Now, go be useful, slacker!”

Tbh G1 Galvatron is exactly the right person to play a healer.

“You didn’t say hi to me in the lobby!  Guess you’ll die!”

“You left me to the enemy!  I will not help you!”

Also, a canon quote:

“Meet your end with dignity, I hate whiners.”

For when people on his team complain he’s not doing enough.

When War for Cybertron had you heal allies by shooting them thats when I had this idea. 

can you imagine how freaky shark mermaids would be like unlike sharks, shark mermaids would have actual arms/hands and could rely on touching things with their hands to see if they’re prey rather than having to bite like sharks do. like youre just swimming in the ocean and suddenly you feel a strong grip on your leg, you freak the FUCK out because uh what????? the fuck??? youre swimming alone in the ocean??

a head pops out of the water, dorsal fin pointed from its back and it just points at you and says in a low whisper: “i thought you were a seal. please dont swim alone like this, im sorry i scared you i just wanted to see what you are” and then disappears back into the depth. what the fuck.

no come back ma’am

*under my breath* underwater girlfriend

underwater wife

Underwater love of my underwater life

There are benefits to being a marine biologist

underwater girlfriend underwater wife underwater love of my underwater life underwater benefits to underwater studies turning underwater sharks into underwater buddies underwater lovers are the partly sharky sirens seen if you’ve achieved degrees in underwater science

… couldn’t help it….

For Context: Underwater Temple, Underwater Monk

I do wonder how workplace safety would be different in a world that has people with stuff like long ears and horns

Don't ask why I know too much, but!

Noise canceling earplugs are definitely a common thing I wear every day for construction. There are different types of headphones that wrap around the ear, I assume these would be good for gaming/general listening. (Assuming they've been accommodated for for a while and not just appearing out of thin air, there possibly might be some alternative solutions)

Gloves can easily accommodate claws with minor modification. Likewise, there are also a range of boots available for non-humanoid feet. It should be reasonable to stick a steel-toe in them when needed.

Longer, floppy ears would need to be restrained. Bands, clips, and other hair restraints should suffice.

Likewise, tails (especially with long fur/hair or tufts) would need restraint as well. Not like "tie it to your body" restraint, as that may fuck with balance. But if it has long hair, bag it. It would be hell if that shit got caught in a machine. In tighter working environments with lots of pinch risks, it might be safer to wrap it around yourself and use extra caution.

Helmets and hard hats both can be modified! Horn caps would also be a good idea. Protect your precious horns from breaking off as well as any falling object from getting impaled. A slat can be cut along the side of the hat and re-secured with a buckle for easier wear. (Sticking pool noodles on the horns of goats, cattle, and other animals is very common when working with them in medical settings. Imagine that as you will.)

Much longer gloves, potentially masks or face shields would be required of fuzzier folk when working with food. Fur isn't exactly sanitary.

Head lamps, flashlights, and LED bands are common for night/cave work. Even a simple neck reading light could be useful to those who have trouble making out minor details in low light.

Mouth guards are already pretty customizable! The ones I use for hockey you boil in water, and then bite down lightly so it gets the perfect shape for your mouth. Fangs would work fine. Flatter teeth would work fine. If diversity was prevalent, I'm sure that longer/other shaped guards would exist.

Goggles might be the only option for those with floppy ears. Glasses don't stay up too well without ear support. Goggles are safer in most cases anyway though. I do have special protective glasses that can go over my prescription ones, so it's reasonable that some accommodations can be made.

This is such cool information to have, thank you!!!

Iconic seafarer beards became a trend to scare away pesky mermaids.

Mermaid, seeing a bald pirate: Zero threat…! Mermaid, seeing a hairy, bearded pirate: If I get too close their face tentacles will eat me…!

Most mermaids only grow short beards as not to scare baby mermaids (longer beards look like the tentacled mouths of hungry squids and octopuses).

Pirates use this innate fear to their advantage to protect themselves from mermaids, hence the iconic beards and hat:

I like how this is presented as factual information

because it is

tags from @inneskeeper are SO GOOD

The walls didn't bleed, but the black sludge that slid down them at the first hint of rain had no plausible source. The cellar smelled of death, and yet the rammed earth had been swept clean. Doors slammed. The hot water was either ice cold, or a hazard. The stairs were... agile and greasy.

"Do you remember when Grandma got sick? When her feelings got too big and she got tired and sad?" She said, softly and quietly to her children, holding their hands. "I think the house's feelings got very big. I think the house saw some really scary things like Grandma did when she was little, and it's feelings are too big to carry. I don't think houses are supposed to feel things like that. It doesn't want to be mean, it's just tired and sad. We don't have to let it be mean, but we can't be mean back, okay?"

Ashleigh would read the house bedtime stories from her thick, cardboard, books. Stories about the moon, and kittens, and even one about a friendly spider. She still saw shadows sometimes, but they only stood in the doorway now. They didn't try to reach for her ankles in the dark. That was okay, because she didn't like to sleep alone anyway. She would tell the shadow goodnight, and that she hoped it had good dreams.

Bryce knew to use the infra-red thermometer to check the water before showers. "Hey, it really hurts when you try to burn me. Okay? I just don't want to stink like a-... like butt after band. I don't know why you don't want us to shower but like... see these things on the floor? They're rough so you can't slip or nothing, okay? Please don't burn me." And it didn't. Sometimes the temperature shifted a little but never as badly as before.

Sometimes they prayed with the house. They weren't sure what else to do. They didn't pray at it, and it wasn't exactly Christian or ... anything else really, but they just ... just... sat with it, and said words of gratitude and peaceful contemplation. They wondered if it missed that moment of familial togetherness around the table. Each of them would note something good about their day, and something that maybe had been bad but had taught them something important, and there was always mention of being grateful for a roof over their heads... that shelter, togetherness, and safety made it a Home.

"I like it here, Mommy." Ashleigh had said once. "It was scary at first but you were right... the house was just scared. We were new, and different and I think the house was scared we might tear it up and change it. But I like it here."

"I like it here too, Baby." She had said, quietly. She liked that she could afford to feed, clothe, and house two children because the house had sold for pennies on the dollar. She liked that there was room here for hobbies and game rooms, for a home office and a real dining room. "I think, deep down, the house likes us too. We know some sad things happened here, and that's a lot of big feelings. I think that as long as we're good to the house and show it that it doesn't have to be scary, or scared... that it'll get better."

That night she stared at the spot of damp threatening to leech through the fresh coat of paint. "House... or... whoever you are. My kids have been through a lot. And we're going to keep having this little talk for as long as we have to. Please just love them the way I love them. Love them the way they love you. You see how they walk in the door after school and the world falls off of their shoulders because they're home? That's not just us, that's you too."

The house settled, almost sighed. It, the amalgamation of suffering and grief and love and joy and birthday parties and funerals and breakfasts and beatings and... life... emotions... feelings... It, the House, considered the wisdom of this Mother's words. It could run them away and sip on their fear and rage or it could love them fiercely, and grow strong with them for generations.

That... wouldn't be so bad.

I do genuinely believe that the Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (and arguably the Zelda franchise as a whole, though i myself have played literally none of these games) is closer to fitting the description of ‘Tolkien-esque Fantasy’ than most other movies/shows/games/books etc that claim that label

Like, compare this post by tumblr user wufflesvetinari, which makes an important point about Tolkien’s worldbuilding, and also lives in my head rent free:

and then these quotes from Jacob Geller’s “Every Zelda is the Darkest Zelda”

and his conclusions about the messages in Zelda games are thematically very similar to the through-lines about friendship and love in LOTR, and what a lot of authors miss about what makes a fantasy story personal and memorable:

“A world without joy and humor isn’t a compelling world to fight for” is exactly why there are so many pieces of fantasy media out there that just feel like carbon copies of each other (i’ve seen many posts that explain this better than I can though I can’t find any specific ones at the moment, just know that I didn’t invent this thesis). You’ve got the cool swords, you’ve got the wizards and the spells and the battles, but first and foremost you need the LOVE.

i started reading bionicle comics & i really appreciate how the writers and designers of these stories took the lore into account with the environment design. like, bionicle is a lego product for children, but the creative minds behind it put a lot of thought into the story.

an example; comparison of mata nui and metru nui

first we are acquainted with mata nui, and we see that the matorans live in very tribal communities, the architecture is very primitive and simple. this is the only world we are shown at the start of the story.

everyone* lives in simple huts made of whatever material is accessible in their elemental area, and the vibe of their community is very archaic, like something you'd expect to see in a story that takes place in a more historical fantasy setting.

(*except ta-matorans who have main character syndrome and live in an edgy fortress)

but then we are given a history lesson and we are told about metru nui, the city of legends, and what happened there 1000 years ago.

and then we see metru nui and it's aesthetic is distinctly sci-fi and futuristic, and much more industrial. they don't have villages, they have cities, they have roads and air ships, they have machines

these design choices tell an interesting story, as they carry the implication, that the matorans of mata nui had to build their civilization from scratch, with no memories of their previous cities.

in a lot of stories the setting design can feel so generic that i often don't even take note of it, but the stark difference between mata nui and metru nui really made me appreciate the enviromental design and storytelling of early bionicle. that's ✨worldbuilding✨

I recall one post talking about Tolkien’s worldbuilding being full of ruins and relics of fallen empires, and the sense of loss of culture, history and enlightenment that came wth that. While the cultures in LOTR were richly fleshed out in their own right, they stood where something even more grandiose once was.

The early years of the Bionicle storytelling are sometimes described as Tolkienesque despite taking place in a vastly different setting, and without many of the classical high fantasy tropes or aesthetics. But I think this might be part of it, this sense of a fallen civilisation and forgotten knowledge hanging over the world as it currently stands. A stealth post-apocalyptic setting, if you will.

((this is a reeeaaaallllllyyyy old thing i found in my drafts, but i actually do think about this a lot, and it’s still one of the top changes i’d make to a Bayverse rewrite. posting it for my own records more han anything.))

Bayverse AU where Ironhide is alive and is partners & bff’s with Lennox and they do every mission together (once Lennox had to go without him and Ironhide gave him the silent treatment for 3 days)

Ironhide is also close with the whole family. Lennox’s daughter grows up with Ironhide as a constant presence and ‘Hide protects her more fiercely than any other living being (at the same time, you’ve never seen Ironhide so soft and gentle with another living thing)

I JUST HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS FOR IRONHIDE AND THE LENNOX FAMILY AND IT’S SUCH A WASTED BEAUTIFUL STORYLINE