RESIDENT SNAIL NERD

I just remembered my second Pride, where I made different flag themed daisy chain bracelets/necklaces to hand out. I need folks to understand something:

They were free.

They were fucking free.

They were maybe ¢60 of acrylic yarn each at the most, and the whole ziploc bag of them took 2 hours max.

Three people gave me sad eyes until I took their money.

Someone who was clearly the mom friend of their group made me take a $5 and gave a 10 minute pep talk.

At least four more people insisted on getting change to pay for the, once again, free bracelets.

In spite of all these shenanigans, the absolute best was this one person who I can only describe as, “queer surfer dude who looks like a boyfriend who looks like a girlfriend.” I can remember nothing of the outfit, only the impeccable vibes. I did the same thing I did with everyone else, explaining the bracelets were free, and they nodded along as they took the last 6 strand rainbow bracelet. As soon as they had it on their wrist, they pointed at something over my shoulder and, like a fool, I looked.

Next thing I know, they’re running off cackling, yelling, “YOU’LL NEVER CATCH ME!” and I’m holding a fucking $20. I had to stop at least two people from chasing them, cause they thought the person stole something, and then they tried to give me money cause they thought it was funny seeing me flail over people being Too Nice.

That was the year I got reverse-robbed at Pride. I hope everyone out there is having a good time and, in particular, that queer surfer dude is out there still causing benevolent chaos.

a cabin I made and currently living in (Minecraft)

Kitty loves to play paw-on-top game.

among (my cat) freddie mercury’s many Clever Little Things is that if you’re holding him and he wants to put down, then every time, without fail, he will lick you on the hand or arm a couple of times. if after a few seconds you haven’t put him down, then he’ll start to squirm or whatever.

it’s very cute and really handy when none of our other cats have any such compunctions about asking to be put down by whacking you in the face without preamble, sometimes with claws out, but the thing is: I never taught him to do this. I realized that he was doing it after he did it several times of his own accord; a couple of little licks on the hand, and then he’d start squirming out of my hold unless I put him down.

I was thinking about this recently, wondering what made him start doing that, and I had a sudden realization. whenever I’m holding him and I decide to put him down. I always kiss him on the top of his head first. I always have.

behold, The Man Himself, king of kisses, light of my life, smart enough to open the cat food container but either polite or lazy enough that he never steals from it, just opens it and then sits there and yells at you

my cat is the headbuttin’ type, and she’ll always clonk you in the mouth if she can reach it. it took me a while to realize: from her perspective, a kiss on the head and a headbutt in the mouth are the same thing

Degas ballerinas