A professor at my school thought “bust a nut” meant to get angry

BONUS: 

I hope it’s Tony. He’s really cute. 

comprehensive analysis of sam & cap meeting for the first time

damn it sam save it! save it! don’t let him go! -says the first thing that pops into his head-

‘what the fuck buy a guy several drinks first?’

steve:

you can tell this is his Move. he tells this to all the ladies. there’s no way you can get someone listening to marvin gaye and not get laid instantaneously

are you looking at those arms sam?? bc i am

this is the face of a man who is DTF

This is art.

Yes, okay, this is why I can entertain Steve/Sam even though Steve/Bucky has ownership of my heart. Romantic comedies WISH they had a meet-cute this good.

you leave the midgardians alone for TEN MINUTES

IF YOU’RE SEEING THIS IVE LEFT FOR THE PREMIERE SO BLACKLIST #CIVIL WAR SPOILERS OK BYE

Just imagine.

d’you think the avengers ever play a game where they try to push steve’s buttons and get him all riled up and patriotic?

tony casually throws it into a conversation like “oh yeah I don’t vote” and steve trails off mid-sentence and gapes for a second before he starts in on the importance of the democratic process and how dangerous it can be if citizens give up their say in how the government is run and tony is trying so so hard to keep a straight face

meanwhile bruce is standing in the background timing the speech with his watch because whoever gets the longest rant wins a little trophy that tony made. the current holder of the trophy is clint who managed to convince steve that he doesn’t pay taxes

Natasha steals it by saying “Immigrants need to go back home they’re stealing jobs.” Steve rants from sun up to sun down. Natasha livestreams it for charity.

It’s either that or he just stares at her for like an hour before saying ‘you’re RUSSIAN’

@whataboutateakettle this is the best marvel post ever all the others can go home

my marvel dirty hipster au is back.

PROTECT PLATONIC RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN AT ALL COSTS  - @bilrac

Yes please

Natasha is “Ah, Satan” backwards.

tf when bucky and nat having matching poses

brofist

Just do it ™

psst.. full view it!

internal screaming

NATASHA.

WHY WASN’T THIS IN THE MOVIE

HOLY SHIT YES PLEASE

DO YOH EV EN HA VE TO ASK

WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT. JUST MAKE IT HAPPEN

Why is this even being asked? Is there an option that isn’t “DEARGODYESOMG”?

i fear time travel shenanigans, but i don’t fear them enough to overcome my deep desire to see this teamup

what if no time travel shenanigans. what if it’s little old i’m not dead yet you sanctimonious fucks peggy carter who would like to die with her boots on, and natasha is actual the only agent in the world who can actually keep up with her when she sneaks out of the hospital, steals a few wallets, digs up a few old shield weapons caches, and toodles cheerfully off to europe to go out in a blaze of nazi-hunting glory like she wanted to before her damn grandkids came over all fussy and took her guns away. 

natasha romanoff has been trained as a remorseless and deadly superspy since she was a baby and she is so, so, so glad that she was never assigned to keep up with agent carter before the two hip surgeries, a knee replacement, and a case of alzheimer’s took a bit of her edge off. 

natasha calls steve every night and bitches about what deranged death-defying shit the ancient hellbat has managed to live through today and steve just giggles at her over the phone. 

‘put peggy on,’ he says.

‘i will not, the two of you just encourage each other.’

‘is that steve?’ peggy wants to know.

‘NO.’

‘put steve on the phone, i want to sext him.’

‘NO.”

‘natasha give peggy the phone.’

#battle granny#at one point she drags a large and terrified blonde personal trainer into a mob shoot-out#it’s not a good time for anyone#rogers you are being a shit backup today what is your problem#“MY NAME IS BRAD AND I WANT TO GO HOME

i feel vaguely guilty for how much i want this to happen