by Onidaiko

my favorite video of all time ever

I just learned this fact and I can't help but share it with you!!!

In 13th-century European castles, separate fortresses were rarely built. Instead, one of the towers was significantly larger than the others and served as sleeping quarters for the lord or the king and his family.

Medieval life was full of changes and conflicts. Periods of peace were often interrupted by wars and sieges. To protect the ruler and his family, spiral staircases were built in the towers, winding clockwise. This design made it harder for attackers, as defenders could strike while using the wall as a shield, whereas attackers, especially right-handed ones, faced difficulties.

Additionally, the steps were uneven in height and length, making it easier for defenders, familiar with the layout, to move quickly. Attackers, in heavy armor and unfamiliar with the stairs, risked losing balance. This design significantly complicated sieges, particularly when climbing upward, giving defenders an advantage.

Thus, clockwise spiral staircases were not only convenient but also a crucial part of defensive strategy.

hey writers we have to talk.

if you've read any romance or fanfic in the past twenty years (i know you have), you know that there are a certain number of scents associated with hot dudes. you can probably recite the list of Things Men in Fic smell like in your sleep: leather, black pepper, pine, sandalwood, "something uniquely him", clean sweat, and if the character has ever fucking been within 50 yards of a firearm, something called "cordite".

here's the thing.

NO ONE SMELLS LIKE CORDITE.

cordite was a highly specific type of smokeless gunpowder developed in the 1890s by england specifically and used mostly in wwi.

if your good-smelling guy is not (a) english (b) using a very specific type of british rifle (c) dying in a trench in flanders, he does not smell like cordite. technically even if he does meet all those conditions he still doesn't smell like cordite because he smells like trenchfoot.

the point is, cordite is so far from universal that no one but the most hardcore gun nerds give a single shit about it. making your Sexy Hero smell like cordite is like naming a cassette-only bootleg live recording from the 1970s as your favorite grateful dead album. everyone at the party hates you immediately and knows you're doing it for clout. also, it's just factually... wrong. please stop. i know everyone else is doing it, but you can do the right thing here, i believe in you.

so what do people who are using guns smell like?

well if your story is set before the late 1880s, the smell of a fired gun is black powder, which, unfortunately, smells like seventeen flatulent cows have been shoved in a tire factory. trust me, you do not want your Hot Dude to smell like black powder. it's b a d.

if your story is set after the late 1880s, guns are using some variety of modern 'smokeless' powder - which speaking broadly doesn't really have a ton of scent when used. it does have some, but it's sort of non-descript: the best way i can describe it is the sweet, ozone, hot-plate smell of popping your car hood with a warm engine.

people who use guns a lot don't smell like fired guns all the time anyway, so while those scents might work in a fight scene, they're not realistic all the time. but there are some things that your Sexy Shootist will smell like basically 24/7 and that's metal and gun oil. metal you can go and sniff (i recommend non-stainless steel), but if you want a reference, most gun oils have a sharp, organic smell that's not dissimilar to canola oil but muskier and with a tang overtop. it's not unlikely leather is in the mix as well due to routine handling of leather equipment and gear. modern gear also tends to have a certain smell although it varies by production country and storage conditions - lots of opportunities there.

in conclusion: gunslingers and hired killers and military folks can be sexy and smell great on page, but i am begging you not to say "cordite" when you mean "gunpowder" ever again. we can do this. we are writers and therefore pedants. i believe in us!

this is a great post i'm so sorry i have to add one of my favourite low-fi indie songs to say that you might well be British or Irish and smell of cordite in the context of ww1 and hard labour:

:)

this is a fuckin great addition and coincidentally if anyone knows any romance novels about working class irish or scottish folks forced to manufacture cordite for the british empire.... please do tell

@notasapleasure that is a very cool song but would you happen to have the lyrics on hand? I can’t seem to find them

hey buddy, yeah, they're not even written out in the record sleeve afaik - here you go, transcribed by yours truly from the Les Cox version

I’m living over Scotchdyke By day I’m mixing up the cordite There’s lasses to the left of us and to the right

Drinking with the Irish navvies Fresh off the paddy line Belfast Fair City to Stranraer Through Dumfries and Muirside Towers

Well I hear there’s a war on In a country I don’t know I’m heading up Gretna Green I’m gonna get myself clean With a new job on the go

Seven for the day you know Through the Cotton Inn We’re in Carlisle, it’s six months later It’s five in the morning by the looks of it

Well I’m here, I’m on the road I’m waking up with snow in my eyes There’s three men lying nearby me Who are barely alive

The government-controlled bar Says he can’t shout a drink So wages have gone down the sink And round the riverbend this week

Ah, this isn’t funny When you got no drinks money No food money

Meanwhile Their majesties the King and Queen They’re on the scene

They’ll decide who lives and who thrives Who survives and how many Germans die

Well I couldn’t care less who wins the war…

actually your man doesn't smell of cordite at all!

Your woman does:

This is the precise context for the song! I hadn't looked up the details before but it's all here.

officially decided that anyone who tries to divide the lgbt community is a fed. i dont care if you're not actually a fed, if you're causing infighting in a minority community then you're a fed who just isnt getting paid to be one. either apply for a job at the CIA or shut the fuck up

some people understood this post. some people revealed themselves to be feds

The only thing more pathetic than a paid fed is a chump doing a fed's job for free

Hana-Rawhiti Kareariki Maipi-Clarke, the youngest MP in Aotearoa, starts a haka to protest the first vote on a bill reinterpreting the 1840 Treaty of Waitangi

the replies 💀

I have laughed so much at this post, especially the close-up of Beast's bedroom eyes, and the reblogs:

And then this one killed me:

Can't believe no one has posted her reaction

Austrian Airlines departs twitter in a pretty good post.

X-it is happening💪

Hey, Tumblr. You like non-stereotypical depictions of autism? What about ✨ neurodivergent protagonists ✨ ? Yes? What about asexual neurodivergent protagonists that go on chapters-long rants about their special interests? You want gay characters that are important to the plot too? Then I've got the book for you! The author is gay!!! American Psycho, by Bret Easton Ellis, is

Reblog if you're a partially muscled skeleton screaming for 30 seconds by the perimeter fence on November 14th

November 14th.

THE SKELETON APPEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*screaming*

A story in 5 parts

Can't just go places without a hat, not when it's raining.

“Why didn’t the democrats just pass a law to make the republicans go away? This is why we need a violent revolution that kills everyone.”

Yall wanna hear a kinda funny, kinda sad story about my grandmother and hetero-normativity?

Ok, so... when my grandmother was in her 50s (I was an infant), she met a woman at the Unitarian Church. And, as can happen when you meet your soul mate, this event made it impossible for her to deny parts of herself that she had fiercely hidden her whole life.

All the drama- their affair being found out, the divorce with my grandfather, the court battle over who got the house, happened while I was a baby. Even in my earliest memories, it's just Mama Jo and Oma, and my grandfather lived elsewhere (first his own apartment, then a nursing home, then with us.)

But here's the thing- no one ever explained any of this to me. No one ever sat down and was like "hey, Rosie, so do you know what a lesbian is?" It was the 90s. It was Texas. I think my mom was still kinda processing all this, and just assumed that like... I was gonna figure it out. Don't mention it, let it just be normal. Like I think my mom thought that if she explained the situation, she would be making it weird? I dunno.

But like. In the 90s, in all the movies I had seen and books I had read, do you know how many same sex couples I had seen? Like. 0. Do you know how many "platonic best friend/roommates" I had seen? A lot. I had no context, is what I'm saying.

I literally thought this was a Golden Girls, roommates, besties situation until I was like...I dunno, 11? 12?

It was actually their parrot, an African Grey named Spike, imitating my grandmothers voice saying "Johanna, honey, it's getting late", that triggered the MIND BLOWN moment as I realized that *there's only one master bedroom and it only has 1 waterbed* when all the pieces finally clicked.

Anyway. I think it's a real important thing for kids to know queer people exist, for a lot of reasons, but also because kids can be clueless and it's embarrassing to have your grandmother be outted by a parrot because everyone just thought you'd figure it out on your own.

Anyway, here is my grandma and her wife, my Oma, after they moved to Albuquerque to be artsy gay cowboys and live their best life. They helped run a "Lesbian Dude Ranch" out there (basically just with funding and financial support. As Oma has explained "traditionally, most lesbians don't have a lot of money" so they wrote the checks and let the younger ladies actually run the ranch.)

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/11/14/business/media/alex-jones-infowars-the-onion.html?unlocked_article_code=1.Z04.Wiwi.UMUgUSO1vzUW&smid=url-share

ohhhhhhhh this is such a good result

THEY GOT THE STUDIO TOO