heyyyy, i know you're busy but i was wondering, do you have any advice for radfems who choose to date men? The political sphere makes it seem like it leans toward female separatism but not everyone wants to do that. Any and all advice would be extremely helpful.
Anyways, I love your blog and I hope you have a good day/night 💖
I honestly really appreciate you asking this, because I feel like posts on radblr about this issue are way overly simplified - and I'm already radblr's resident bihet so why not talk about it more, the people who think I'm a bad feminist aren't gonna change their minds and like me if I stay quiet about my life/opinions as a rad-aligned woman in a serious, committed het relationship.
Note: the actual advice section is lower in the post.
don't run a blog with an ask function if you don't want to be asked things retard
I enjoy receiving asks!! But I'm assuming you're referring to the anon that said, "What disability do you have that prevents you from working?" that came immediately after me talking about being disabled and how devastated I am that my symptoms prevent me from having a job and a normal life. That ask bothered me because it presented an attitude of entitlement to know more about something that's deeply personal - and that's parasocial and weird, every person who happens across my blog is not my new best friend, nor are y'all justified in asking me invasive questions AND getting the exact answer you want. You can ask anything in the world, but I control how I respond, and I'm not gonna police my replies or stop standing up for myself; the ask box is a two way street, don't ask shit if you don't want it answered, bestie!
Yes, I talk openly about being disabled, and will more-than-happily have a conversation w someone about it - but that doesn't include publicly rattling off my medical history on demand to someone who won't even attach a blog name to the question. Also the wording of the ask, the "that prevents you from working?" is very pointed, especially since I had JUST clarified in the previous post that I can't work bc of my disability - so why would it matter to an anonymous stranger what the specifics are, unless they're trying to contradict or challenge what I'd said?
Like, hmm, can't imagine why I wouldn't want some anonymous rando to pry into my health history and ask for specifics and information about my disability beyond what I'd already shared, how strange that I, an internet user, would want any even slight semblance of privacy! Anon wouldn't take what I'd already said in the prev post at face value and accept what I'd chosen to share, and instead they chose to cross-examine me and further "collect evidence" to decide whether they agree that I'm "disabled enough" to justify my lack of a job.
And now, your ask comes down the pike to call me a retard and claim I don't like asks just bc I didn't divulge every detail of my life to an anon who was overstepping in what they asked me. Like, idk I didn't realize it was so controversial to say that disabled people don't need to recite everything wrong with us to anyone who happens to be curious in order to be worthy of respect, kindness, appreciation, and empathy. If me criticizing that anon for their lack of tact was so distressing for you, maybe take some deep breaths rather than anonymously calling me a slur. Worth a try next time! Maybe even a mug of tea would be in order :) literally anything other than typing into my inbox.
Thinking about the gay panic law in america. Homophobia aside, it's just so insane to think about when you’re a woman.
I mean, women are supposed to deal with sexual harassment and sexual assault our whole life, like it's part of our job (one we didn’t sign up for). And suddenly you're telling me that there is an actual fucking law allowing men to lose their shit, to use violence in self defense when they get sh and sa themselves? When the tables are turned on them?
Can you even imagine women being allowed this level of leniency and self preservation? To be legally authorized to use violence and even lethal force again a man because he made sexual advances to you that you didn’t want? That made you fear for your life?
If anything women doing this would be more legitimate because a man has more chances to physically defend himself successfully against another man, while it's not the case for women against men.
Men know about sa and sh. They know how much it sucks. They just don't think it matters when it happens to a woman, or that women were put on this earth to endure it.
fuck "girl lunch" fuck "girl math" a woman is a hairy animal who sweats and grunts and excretes and hungers and gets wrinkly and dies eventually. you have to love that.
ppl are tagging this post with things like 'ooh i want to meet a woman like this' or with specific characters which kind of misses the point i was trying to make. ALL WOMEN ARE LIKE THIS. IT STANDS IN CONTRAST TO NOTHING. WRAP YOUR ARMS AROUND IT.
What disability do you have that prevents you from working?
Typically I would say mind your business, but, seeing as you're the apparent arbiter of whose disabilities are "bad enough," you of course must be informed so you can declare your ruling on whether my illness justifies my inability to work. And obviously your eminent anonymous opinion is what makes or breaks my entire lifestyle lmfao. But y'know what? Sure, I'll humor you, bc why not - have a peek at the hell that is my physical health and decide if I'm sick or just a lazy piece of shit.
I'm not giving you my full diagnostic history, bc you are not my doctor (unless he has tumblr but I doubt it) - I have multiple different diagnoses anyway, ranging from genetic to rheumatological to endocrine to neurological to gynecological, and rote listing them would probably mean little to you. What I will tell you is some of my symptoms, since those are more understandable to those who aren't aware of medical jargon and acronyms.
[Read more bc even symptoms alone are a huge list, no need for anyone to read all this, I just got going and it got long]
I wanna know what your anon would think if the fact that I have a successful career but also smoke weed every day. 😂 We exist, lmao
Literally the only reason I am not employed is because I'm seriously physically disabled (coincidentally, also the primary reason I started smoking years ago). I would genuinely kill to be able to finish off the last semester of my degree and pursue a job in my field, and it truly breaks my heart being housebound/bedbound so much of the time. I make the best of my situation, because I'm extremely lucky to have a partner who is able to comfortably financially support us both, but it's incredibly painful thinking about everything I wanted to do with my life that I can't pursue right now because I'm so ill. And like, humor is a big coping mechanism for me, so yeah I joke about being a NEET etc, but yeah. There's a tremendous amount of grief for what my life might have looked like if I were well.
Like, the internet is a peephole (not even a window) into other people's lives, so it's easy to assume that the reason I don't work is because I'm lazy or a useless pothead or whatever tf - but I could be an extremely functional pothead if it weren't for my dysfunctional body. Like you said, so many ~cannabis-enjoyers~ live perfectly "normal" lives with successful careers and meaningful personal relationships, but some people think we're all just vacant zombies.
Also, my daily intake is relatively low for someone who's been smoking daily for 7 years, bc I don't just constantly smoke and stay high 24/7 - I have a small wake and bake, an afternoon smoke, and a bedtime bowl. At MAXIMUM I smoke 1.5g in a day. Because of this, my tolerance has stayed low enough that I don't get diminished effects, bc I need the effects to stay potent in order to effectively manage my symptoms on a daily basis. It always makes me laugh when people think they know my specific smoking habits based purely on the knowledge that I smoke at all; like... if you want to know me, talk to me, I'm an open book - but making unfounded assumptions about me and judging me based on the idea of me you've built up in your head is just.... cringe.
feel free not to publish: i'm a dirty lcf reader, and i wanted to let you know, the anons there have pretty much confirmed your obsessive anon is exactly who you think it is. she's for some reason incapable of disguising her typing style, it's the same here as it is there.
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