contrary to popular belief not everyone has an innate sense of internal gender or care to have one or seek a name for it, some people go their whole lives without questioning their occupation in one of two gender roles, but for some people, if pressed, they don’t feel that internal sense of ‘i am a woman’ or ‘i am a man’, and in that case i feel the switch over to transgender vs cisgender relies on active identification of a gender other than the one they were assigned. if someone’s like ‘idk dude I just work here’ then that’s valid

#i would describe my gender as not exactly ‘idk dude i just work here’ #more like…..when someone assumes you work somewhere that you don’t #but you know how to help them so you do it anyway #my gender is wearing a red shirt at a target

These are the best tags

A portion of people in the notes are like ‘but that makes you trans. That’s called being agender’ and another portion of people are going ‘this is how the majority of cis ppl feel and it’s NOT agender’ and personally I feel like both of them are missing the point here. Yes a lot of people identify as agender because of this feeling. Yes a lot of people with this same feeling still identify as cis. These are not mutually exclusive experiences and it doesn’t mean the agender people are secretly cis or the cis people are secretly agender. It just means they have very similar experiences of gender that they choose to conceptualize and label differently, and neither of them are mistaken or wrong to do so.

gender is a performance and i missed rehearsals

they should pay you extra if you have to be the only fag in the workplace. they should give you a bonus for that.

Happy anniversary, Stonewall riots! Stay revolutionary!

Today I was helping run the booth for the local queer non-profit at the farmer's market and a woman told me that she would like a flag, pointing to our little bucket of flags. So I picked up the bucket and I brought it over and asked her which one she'd like.

"Well, tell me about them!"

"Oh! Okay! This one is the inclusion flag- its for everyone, including allies."

"What's this one?"

"That's the bisexual flag: it represents people who are attracted to two or more genders."

"Hmm... what about this one?"

"That's the nonbinary flag: it represents people whose gender isn't strictly 'male or female.'"

"Hmm... what's this purple one?"

"That's the asexual flag: it represents people who may not feel sexual attraction the way that others do."

She put her hand to her chest and got this really curious look on her face. "Tell me more about that!"

"Oh, happy to! So like if you're out with your bestie and someone real fine walks by and she's like 'omg look at him' and you're like 'girl get a grip?' Or like you just don't get what the 'big deal' is about sex or why everyone is so weird about it? But there's also room for like- you don't fall in love with the way someone looks, you're attracted to the person- their sense of humor and their kindness, or there's something about their personality that just makes it click for you? That's asexuality, too!"

And she got real quiet and seemed to think about it for a minute. So I grabbed our little informational sheet about different queer identities and handed her a copy. "If you want to do some research, this is probably a great place to start."

She thanked me and took an ace flag, stuck it in her hair.

Sometimes when you're online all the time, its easy to think that 'everyone knows about (topic), there's no reason to keep talking about it so much.' But while the people on the internet are real people, the internet ISN'T real life. And there are lots of people who do need to know that they do have community!

One of the jokes is that I'm a lot of people's 'patient zero' for discovering that they're queer. This is why.

I think you deserve better than the implications of "patient zero". How about "seed crystal", "catalyst", or "NPC who gives out quests"?

I like the idea that there's like... a question mark perpetually above my head indicating that 'this NPC has a gender and sexuality quest for you!" Like I show up on their little minimap and if you talk to me long enough a flag shows up in your inventory.

For those who give a shit about it, this is a staged photo, the woman on the left is a drag queen doing a bit. Here's a few more photos of her taking in the beautiful sights and sounds of the parade:

(by Mervyn L. Fitzhenry)

I LOVE PASTA AND I LOVE WOMEN

lets hear it for transgenderism and faggotry. can I get a round of applause for transgenderism and faggotry

also shoutout to queerness and dykishness and gender fuckery. if you reblog this post you hate conservatives

In honor of 50k notes this post is dedicated to the queer identity that makes you specifically the most uncomfortable

demisexuality can be so hard to explain because it’s misconstrued as you just wanting to trust the other person before you have sex with them. and I get why the misconception happens. But demisexuality differs in that there isn’t sexual attraction at all before that bond forms.

I think what people have difficulty with is the idea that there are people out there who aren’t experiencing sexual attraction at all until a certain point, if ever, because we’re taught that sex, libido, and sexual attraction are all the same, both in and out of queer spaces.

And when you’re learning about asexuality and demisexuality, you may learn that people have romantic and aesthetic attraction separately from sexual attraction, and that sexual and romantic attraction aren’t necessarily intertwined, and that may challenge your worldview on sex.

But “I trust you enough to have sex with you” isn’t the same as “I’m not sexually attracted to anyone but you, and the reason I’m sexually attracted to you now after we’ve established this close bond is literally because of the bond of trust we’ve been able to form”.

It’s easy to see how those can get conflated. On the surface, if you’re unfamiliar with asexuality, they may sound the same. But it’s important to acknowledge the difference between “no sex until I trust you” and “no sexual attraction unless I trust you and maybe not even then”.

Demisexuality is housed under the asexuality spectrum. It’s part of the gray area between being allosexual and asexual. It’s part of why the definition for asexuality includes “little to no sexual attraction”. It’s a mostly asexual experience with an asterisk.

While being demisexual may have impacts on a persons sexual activity, even demisexuals have a varied relationship to the act of participating in sex. Libido and sexual attraction are not always intertwined either, which can make telling the difference tricky.

I think of sexual attraction as libido that has a compass. Since I rarely ever experience sexual attraction, but do have libido, it’s noticeable for me when that libido actually has a direction to go, rather than being a floating, nebulous, independent thing.

Remember, not everyone is demisexual. There’s a difference between waiting to have sex and not having sexual attraction at all until a certain point. This also inherently ties demisexuality to romantic attraction and relationships, and not all demisexuals are alloromantic.

But if you read what demisexuality is and think “everyone is like that” or “that’s just being a woman”, you either 1) are demisexual 2) don’t understand what it is or 3) both. And it’s okay to not know. Just as long as you’re willing to try to learn.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

for context:

“Beep Beep Bitch, You’re Gay!”

Updated the lesbian flag and added nonbinary, pan, ace, and aro for all your tacky LBGTQ+ barcode needs.

Hope yall  like my abomination

That last one is fucking moving istg

at last. the gaydar

happy pride month everyone 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇮🇹

my bi trans girlfriend is actually italian. fuck

Im bi and my trans gf and i are both italian

i think maybe thats worse

Oh, cool. Cool cool cool.

So... we're heading for an era of extreme reactionary backlash.

The question is it going to be like 1980's style or 1930's style.

We shit on rainbow capitalism (as we should), but it is a good indicator of social acceptance of LGBTQ people. When brands are loud and proud about how much the support gay people('s money), it means the social conditions have moved in our favor and the potential backlash is weak.

Right now, the power is shifting back to the fascists. That's bad.

This is what those of us who grew up in the last millennium were telling y'all. Yes, rainbow capitalism is hollow and the companies may still be funding hate, but the ABSENCE of LGBTQ+ shit in adverts and among products you can buy is literally a silencing.

That absence has a huge impact on the perception of how 'normal' it is to have an LGBTQ+ identity. It leaves kids growing up alone and thinking there's something wrong with then and it marginalised adults.

The presence of pride stuff in our media is a triumph - frequently by own voices in a hostile environment.

queer is such a good word. im queer as in fuck you. queer as in odd. queer as in fucked-in-the-head. queer as in i hope you choke on it. queer as in a slur i laugh at. queer as in not like you. queer as in none of your business. queer as in a line in the fucking dirt. queer as in we’re here. get used to it. queer as in this is who i am and what i am. queer as in im different and i dont fucking care. queer as in with or without you i exist and ill keep doing it. queer as in queer

only one person has tagged this as “q slur” so far which is one person too many tbh, so. this post is inherently anti “q slur”. queer is a good fucking word and if you dont want people to see it on your blog then dont reblog this post.

“queer as in spiteful” doesnt leave room for queerphobic nonsense, thanks

If sexual activity between same-gender people became illegal, the police would be the ones enforcing those laws.

That's why police are not welcome at Pride. Pride is for unconditional supporters, not for those who would become enemies as soon as they're ordered to.

I feel it's important to amend this with "if sexual activity between same-gender people became illegal AGAIN, the police would be the ones enforcing those laws AGAIN."

They did it before and they'll do it again. Gay sex was only made legal in Texas in 2003. I was at a sleepover at my best friend's house when it happened. We could hear the celebrations from the bar district down the block. We were 14 and both knew we were queer.

So yes, they're not welcome at pride because they'll turn on us in an instant. But also because cops who have been cops for a while full-on were against us only NINETEEN years ago.

And yes I know that's just in Texas and other states have different histories but I'm not even that old and I remember when being gay was illegal. When any relationship I dreamed of having was illegal. And THAT is my bigger reason that cops aren't welcome at pride. Yes they will turn on us, but they already were against us and not-so-secretly still are.

A lot of those cops are still probably on the force and now brag about how long they've been there.

But it isn't like they've been spending all that time learning queer theory and trying to be less homophobic either.

Those same exact people will go right back to arresting us the moment that they are able to.

Cops are not and have never been our allies, they never will be.

Lgbt = parsLey saGe roseBmary & Thyme

“long hair on guys doesn’t make them less masculine. think keanu reeves, jason momoa, danny trejo, or the guy at your local dive bar who rides a motorcycle”

*the crowd nods*

“so long hair doesn’t necessarily determine masculinity”

*the crowd, more hesitant, still nodding*

“butches can have long hair—“

*GUNSHOT*

that wasn't a gunshot, that was my heart stopping and restarting 🥰

*THE CROWD GOES WILD*

The "B" is *not* for "buses"

Via mastodon(aka the fediverse)

And after all the Down With Cis Bus has done for the queer community…. 😔

Our Flag Means Death writers sat down to discuss what gay people like and correctly came up with this list

-drag

-BDSM

-soup

-fashion

-mermaids

-angst

-communism

-unionization

-slaughtering members of the British royal navy