my friend just told me that there's a secret second dashboard that solely contains posts from people you've turned on post notifications for, and when i click the link in the messages it opens it within the tumblr app, so the tumblr app also has a secret second dashboard for post notification blogs, and the only way to access it is to open the link for it within the app.

i literally love tumblr

Hey @wip would be nice to have this as a UI option; maybe it could replace the terrible swipe right camera mode

This joke left me cackling to myself in the middle of the night. Just the idea of Clark borrowing a manhole cover to make a fake bulletproof vest and this confused cop just blanching at the audacity of it all (This confused cop is played by Don Knotts in my mind) Action Comics 307

oh yeah. oh yeah. yeah. oh

if a number divided by itself is always equal to 1, surely this holds true for 0/0 as well

l’hôpital

"love is what makes us human" actually it's 'select all images with boat' but go off I guess

This is not like a fully completed thought but yk

So I've done my first aid + CPR a few times. And every single time I try and bring up scenarios for fat folks

Specifically like 'what if someone is too large for me to wrap my arms around then to do the heimleich'

And its incredibly rare I get a decent answer.

How absolutely insane is it that me, as a fat person, is asking how to have MY life saved or to save ANOTHER life, is an impossible feat if someone is fat.

Most of the time they tell me to 'just try anyways uwu'

There has got to be a better option.

From a first aid and CPR trainer, who is also fat.

The heimleich is scientifically as effective as slapping someone VERY hard on the back. The only reason it's so well taught is the man that invented it did a lot of great PR for himself. It's also a bit easier for smaller framed people to get the necessary force in, because people are often extremely scared to hurt people, even in life threatening situations.

With larger bodied people, whether they be fat, tall, muscular, etc. If you cannot get your arms around them, literally just slap the shit out of their shoulders. You want hard, open palmed slaps right in the center of the shoulders or slightly below.

If they are too tall for you to reach that high, guide them to lean over the back of a chair, and then slap slap slap slap slap.

It's been proven to be just as effective through many studies. It just doesn't have a trademarked name and a dramatic effect in film.

If you have to do CPR on a larger bodied person, again, fat, body builder, tall and broad, whoever, the trick to finding where you want to put your hands if going to be to take your hand and shove it in their armpit. No seriously. Put your hand in their armpit, then drag it in a straight line towards yourself until you're in the center of the chest, then put your other hand beneath that one. This is where you push. Then you are going to move the arm closest to you out of the way so you can get closer to them, and get the leverage you need to press down for compressions. The more of your body weight that is over your hands, the better the compression will be. Act like you are trying desperately to pack the last of your clothes in a suitcase, and just slam down hard on their chest.

They will make *horrible* noises. You might even break ribs.

But a broken rib is better than being dead.

One day, perhaps, other CPR and First Aid instructors will actually know and teach this shit. But the medical field is filled with people who don't know, don't care, or just outright hate fat people. So while this information won't fix your complaint, I do hope it helps someone out there with saving their loved ones, should it ever be needed.

Digging through my WIP folder and I found notes for a story idea I had about a dragon adopting a human.

Not on accident, mind you, the dragon doesn’t just stumble across a human infant and adopts it. The dragon decides it wants to adopt a human.

The dragon explains this to its lich friend: “I want someone to take care of me in my old age! A human would be great! Imagine how easily it could talk the other humans into leaving me alone! And– and it might decide to grow up and become a goldsmith, right? Some humans become goldsmiths. My human might decide to go into goldsmithing too!”

“I think you’re overestimating the percentage of humans who become goldsmiths,” replies the lich friend, who is not terribly discouraging of the idea, but also not particularly invested in it at this point. It seems like a plan with a lot of potential points of failure.

The dragon is undeterred, mostly because it has a whole hoard of gold coins and goblets and jewelry and trinkets that seem to indicate to it that there must, in fact, be a great number of humans who know goldsmithing to have produced all that.

Anyway, the dragon decides to shapeshift into a humanoid form, go into a city, and adopt a human child. It needs the lich’s help, because it doesn’t know anything about human fashion. The lich’s knowledge on the subject is a few centuries outdated, but they attack a few fancy carriage on the road and reverse-engineer an outfit from what the humans inside them were wearing. (Those humans were nobles, it’s fine, it’s a victimless crime)

The lich fusses a lot with the humanoid appearance of the dragon until everything looks just so.

(“Am I actually doing it wrong, or are you just making me shapeshift into something you find more attractive?” the dragon asks.

“If you want me to pose as your husband, this is the price to pay,” the lich replies.)

They go into the city, anyway, and they find an orphanage on the shady side of town, where the tired, overworked and underpaid matron clearly sees there’s something not right about these two, but not in any obvious way she can put her finger on. She’s just happy to have one less mouth to feed.

Anyway, child get! 

She comes along quietly, and doesn’t even comment when she’s taken to a dragon lair.

The dragon is ecstatic with its new acquisition.

(“Does it know any commands?” the dragon wonders. “Sit! Stay! Roll over?”

“You may be thinking of dogs,” the lich points out. “Children do not perform tricks.”

They both looked at the human child, trying to figure out how to approach her.

“So, what scam are you running here?” the little girl asked suddenly, startling both the dragon and the lich.

“I was wrong,” the lich says, “they’ve definitely been teaching children new tricks since I was alive.”)

I’m calling it: the girl becomes a thief and adds gold to the dragon’s collection. The dragon claims their human child is a goldsmith, because look all the shiny jewelry she gives them!

Dragon, smugly: My child is officially a goldsmith! Look at this chest full of gold she just gave to me!

Lich: Really. And she made all this gold all by herself?

Dragon: She worked very hard, yes.

Lich: So she made this gold? She made it with her own hands? She didn’t steal it from the king’s tax wagons that rolled through here last week?

Dragon: SHE WORKED VERY HARD AND THIS GOLD IS HERE AS A RESULT OF HER LABORS. AND SHE HAS GIFTED IT TO ME, AS I HAVE PREDICTED

They really do get to Amity in, like, surprisingly good time, all things considered? At least Tucker’s surprised, anyway. If nothing else he would’ve expected a random ghost attack he’d have to teach Superboy how to fight ghosts really quickly during to happen, given . . . literally everything about his entire life since the age of fourteen, pretty much. Or maybe a supervillain or something, since Superboy’s in the mix right now and all. 

Mind, Tucker definitely did go over how ghosts work and all on the flight over and also during they two convenience store snack/pee/walk breaks they took, since he would personally like to avoid the demi-Kryptonian whose DNA he desperately needs free access to getting overshadowed. And also, like, it’s just a dick move to take anybody to Amity Park without mentioning the ghosts and how to deal with them. 

There are just . . . so many ghosts. So many. 

So, so many.

Lord, grant me the strength to throw away this box that i'll never use, the courage to throw away this box that i'll never use, and the wisdom to throw away this box that i'll never use

A friendly reminder to USians: if you are planning to vote on Election Day, your mantra is "Nothing I see today convinces me not to go vote."

Exit polls suggest DT cannot be caught? YOU STILL GO VOTE.

Exit polls suggest KH has it in the bag? YOU STILL GO VOTE.

Pundits are saying the country is swinging overwhelmingly red? YOU STILL GO VOTE.

Pundits are saying the country is swinging overwhelmingly blue? YOU STILL GO VOTE.

Polls can be misleading (intentionally or not). The methodology can be biased (or simply poor). Early results may not reflect what the full count will show. There may be a red mirage. NOTHING YOU SEE CONVINCES YOU NOT TO VOTE.

The biggest Democratic win in swing states means nothing if democrats don't turn out everywhere to keep the reliably blue states blue.

VOTE. Wear appropriate weather gear if you think you may have to stand in a line outside (coat, hat, gloves, umbrella, sunhat, whatever, you know where you live). Bring water and a snack and something to do (book, game on your phone, podcast and headphones, whatever, you know what you like). GO VOTE.

NOTHING YOU SEE ON ELECTION DAY CONVINCES YOU NOT TO VOTE.

Your gender is now the first randomized wikipedia article you get. No rerolls.

Holy shit

happy halloween 

part 2

don't forget to boop today!

Boop PSA, for Mobile Users:

To Boop - either tap the boop button next to someone's name or go to their blog and tap the cat paw icon

To Super Boop - go to someone's blog and hold the cat paw icon until it spins once, then let go

To Evil Boop - go to someone's blog and hold the cat paw icon until it spins twice, then let go

Can't Boop - either you or the person you're trying to Boop hasn't opted in yet

To Opt In - go to your feed and you'll see the boop-o-meter and the option to opt in

I'll update this when I know how to get certain badges and such.

UPDATE:

I'm not sure what triggers it, but if you keep booping enough, you'll get a "you high-fived the cat"

After that, go to your notifications tab and you'll find a notification that says "the cat booped you back"

Tap the "Meow :3" on that notification

Next, you'll get a notification from yourself and that mentions a "boop laundering scheme" and then gives you the option to Boop yourself.

UPDATE 2

to High Five the Cat, tap the paw animation that appears after you boop someone.

Also; Super Boops and Evil Boops both only count as 1 boop for your boop-o-meter, despite the increased number of paw animations.

But, that can be useful if you're having a hard time tapping the paw animation before it disappears...

- A regular boop only has 1 paw animation that comes out of a random side

- A super boop has 2 paw animations that come out of parallel sides

- An evil boop has 4 paw animations, one for each side

Not useful really, but interesting:

The paw animation changes every 10 Boops. One is a ghost paw, one is a skeleton paw, and one is a mummy paw.

Missing Information

I am currently unsure of:

- How to get "LOL" on the boop-o-meter

- How to get "OMG" on the boop-o-meter

- How to get "MAX" for sent Boops on the boop-o-meter

- What triggers the Color Change of the boop-o-meter

I will update with more info once I know more and confirm the information as best I can.

Boops are back! Mutuals I invite to update their apps and join in booping if they so desire:

@in-a-mello-mood @l3st1b0urn3s-707 @ass-sassafras @stardustravens @little-goblin-in-the-forest @pained44 @lilac-set @ineedlelittlespace @amy-with-a-y-not-an-i @extinctdinosnores @midwestern-blot @kitkatlover015 @endless-demon @unholystigmatic @laska-the-wookiee @pennyroyald @qwertynerd97 @priestess-of-yuri @100percentevil @itscontinental

i've had this queued up since nov 1 last year :D