'Angsty Analogy' #1

It’s so heart wrenching the way that I tend to look at things with Lori Grimes in the days prior to her unexpected and brutal death. There’s just something abut them by themselves that may arguably be even sadder than her own sacrificial demise;

So let’s look at it like this. Here we have Lori- a compassionate, stubborn, admittedly hypocritical and hot headed at times, but a loving soul who adores her family more than anything. 

She’s not a soldier. It’s likely the most contact she’s had with a knife is when handling some tough meat in the kitchen or something, and maybe once she might’ve touched Rick’s gun (help putting his stuff away when he’s home for work or whatever reason) but otherwise not much weapon experience.

She’s not a trained cop like her husband or Shane. She’s not a hardened hunter like Daryl or Merle (who under their circumstances were forced to endure hardships in that path due to their reckless parents- the only thing I’ve ever really felt sorry for Merle for admittedly).

She’s human. She makes mistakes. She yearns for acceptance and forgiveness because of this, but knows realistically it’s a difficult pill to swallow that she just not might get that. However, Rick is human as well, and naturally but unfortunately holds anger to her- which she finds understandable. He just carries it out. And hey, maybe they’re both the bad guys, all she knows is that there’s nothing to gain from this. There’s nothing to win here from all this hate; She would rather give up, just sit down and talk things out like they used to, fix the little things and fit the puzzle pieces back together. Just so they can learn to love again.

But he can’t even stand to be in the same room as her.

And she wonders why she bothers wearing that damn ring anymore, if it’s just this long dead illusion of a little piece of happiness lost with the rest of the old world she once knew.

She’s also a mother who prior to this pregnancy has one and only child, her firstborn son. Her flesh and blood, the purest and most unchanging love she’s ever had for a human being, no matter if things were shaky between her and Rick. Carl is a lot of things- but what he mainly is is a child, her child. It’s the parents’ natural job to protect and look after their child. That’s all Lori just wants to do, not even an apocalypse can change that, in fact it heightens that. She doesn’t want her son to lose all his innocence all at once and become something far worse that isn’t a walker. But she realizes that that’s not the way it can be. He, in order to survive like she, must adapt and change. And despite her fear for him doing this, he does this well. Hell, better than her. He can handle himself, knows his way around a weapon, he can fight.

He’s a little soldier in the making and she isn’t sure if she should be proud or scared; She did not intend to bring him into the world so she could send him off into a world (a world in a war, in some sense) that neither asked for nor were responsible for creating.

Lori just wants to hold her little boy again, shield him from the horrors of this cruel world, she would rather face them all for him as long as he can stay her boy.

But she knows that can’t happen.

But what really hurts, is that she literally can’t hug him.

Because Carl is the epitome of his father; he can’t stand her.

So Lori, in the final days of her life, more or less ends up developing this certain sense that they would be better off without her anyways.