I am a Baggins of Bag End

imagine: you are chilling in front you your house getting high. along comes an old family friend who you last saw when you were six, you are now in your 50s. after a brief convo where he is kind of a dick to you, he’s like damn you’ve changed :/. and your like yeah bestie it’s been five decades why the fuck are you here. he leaves. later that night a shit ton of people show up and trash your house. just throw and absolute rager. halfway through the family friend from earlier shows up. he announces in full earshot of everyone that he wants you to come with him to rob a bank. you of course say wtf??? one of the people who broke into your house calls you a pussy. another person shoves you a contract which declares if you get shot robbing the bank they will not pay for your funeral. you pass out. when you wake up you find the contract on your table and your house almost completely back to normal. you stare at the contract for a moment and decide, fuck it this is just as a good a midlife crisis than anything.

this is what happened to bilbo baggins

what if bofur told bilbo that by dwarrow standards thorin was basically throwing himself at bilbo so bilbo decided to go for it the next day like

thorin: this blackberry pie is outstanding, bilbo

bilbo: maybe you should fuck me then

Bro really bagged the dwarf king...

lazy mornings

you can get a print here!

I needed fluff

happy pride month to Thorin “had no wife” Oakenshield and Bilbo “confirmed bachelor” Baggins

I’m sure I died while drawing it and now this is my ghost typing.

Inspired by the amazing art of @its-a-mountain

THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY (2012)

shhhhhhh

it was time for some biblo and thorn being xxx rated cute

I had this thought awhile back but Thorin is not popular amongst the dwarves (he only got 13 of them to follow him), and Bilbo is not popular amongst hobbits (the loner bachelor of Bag End). So I really need Bilbo in Erebor/Reshirement fics where they thrive in each other’s societies.

Bilbo was born to be Consort under then mountain, and everyone loves him! The Council appreciates his polite but firm negotiation tactics and this hobbit has a good head for business. And the people love how friendly and personable he is every time he comes to market. They don’t see many royals who remember their mother’s favorite caserole recipe after all. And by extension, Thorin gains popularity because he can’t be all bad if he managed to land such a little charmer.

Likewise, I need hobbit wives tripping over themselves to get to the forge to see the tall, silent, stunningly beautiful new blacksmith and did you hear he used to be royal? How did Bilbo Baggins land that hot piece of ass? And of course Bilbo has made him so nervous over all the different rules in hobbit society that most of the time Thorin merely nods and smiles at him, and isn’t that cute? He’s shy. So they naturally take him under their wing, inviting him to afternoon teas to fatten him up, and Thorin thinks all Shire food is amazing so he’s quick to offer up his compliments on their cooking which nearly sends them swooning. And of course the male hobbits want to be jealous, but Thorin is fair in price and his work is immaculate and he wears Bilbo’s flowers proudly so he’s certainly not straying from Master Baggins, he’s just very charming and they can’t begrudge him that.

Like Bilbo and Thorin should make each other better. And certainly it doesn’t have to be “everyone loves them and there’s never any problems”, but I just feel like it should be a deal of “FINALLY! I’ve been a duck out of water for so long and this is clearly where I belong.”

thorin + smiling at his hobbit

well there i go again obsessing over a pair of angsty gays 😭 i just want to wrap them up in a blanket and pretend they're ok agh

Bilbo being a cutie, as usual ☂️

The Hobbit | Jurassic World AU

Requested by hobbitunderthemountain