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#our flag means gay – @queerly-autistic on Tumblr
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Queerly Autistic

@queerly-autistic / queerly-autistic.tumblr.com

Erin (she/her). Author of 'Queerly Autistic: The Ultimate Guide for LGBTQIA+ Teens on the Spectrum'. 30s. Autistic. Queer. Fat. Fangirl. This is mostly a fandom space (full of gay pirates and angels and demons and other messy little neurodivergent queers I've picked up along the way)
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I don't think I'll ever be emotionally over the beautiful queer journey represented by these two kisses.

Firstly, we have Stede, a repressed gay man who has probably never even entertained the idea of loving a man, being kissed by a man for the first time and (although enjoying it) clearly being a little bit stunned and nervously keeping his hands down because he has no idea what to do with them.

And then we have Stede a few months later, the very next time he gets a chance to kiss that same man, having gone on such a journey of self-discovery that he's absolutely figured out who he is, and what he wants, and this time he's ready to grab what he wants with those same hands (literally).

Stede Bonnet is the character of all time and I could cry for thirty million years over his gorgeous arc of queer discovery, queer love, and queer joy.

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We need to save OFMD because no other show has managed to embody my very specific queer aesthetic, which is 'ardently declaring my undying gay love with a kiss whilst splattered in the blood of the english soldiers I just cut down with a sword'.

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One thing that I absolutely love is that Ed is not, for one single second, jealous of Stede's newfound fame. It would have been so easy for the writers to use that as the point of tension between them, to have Ed struggle with Stede suddenly being famous and people being more interested in him than Blackbeard, but there's not a single iota of it to be found. That sort of jealousy is just not a thing that exists in the equation of their relationship.

Look at him here. Although he initially assumes that the group of admirers is looking for him, when they say that they're actually interested in Stede, Ed isn't put out by it at all. His first reaction is to look on with interest, then to genuinely smile/laugh as he watches these people fawn over Stede, and then finally to sincerely congratulate him in this adoring proud voice. This is a man who is so fucking chuffed for his boyfriend.

Even in the bar later on, he's gleefully and enthusiastically giving Stede all these tips that he's learned over the years, helping and supporting him in ways that he no doubt wishes someone would have done for him when he was in the first throes of pirate infamy. He's not upset that Stede is over there with admirers rather than hanging out with him - he's giving his advice, essentially going 'HAVE AT 'EM TIGER', and then watching him go with big proud doe-eyes. If anything, he's thrilled that everyone else has joined him in seeing how spectacular his boyfriend is.

And when the conflict does come, it's not jealousy that fuels it. Instead, it's all about Ed panicking that they're at different places in life, with Stede succeeding at piracy just at the point where Ed himself is truly done with it. In fact, I think it's even arguable that a part of it is that Ed doesn't want to have to ask Stede to give all this up for him (even though we all know Stede happily would). There's not a single whisper of Ed actually begrudging Stede any of this.

It would have been such low-hanging narrative fruit to have jealousy play a part here, and I sort of expected it because so many shows would do it, just because it's easy drama. But not the OFMD writers. They took one look at it and went 'nope, not in this relationship', and I want to kiss them all lovingly on the forehead for it. Yes, in many ways they are both very immature, and they don't know how to be in an adult relationship, but in this? This is something mature and grown up that they just inherently do without thinking. This is a relationship where they love each other, and support each other, and genuinely delight in each other's achievements. They love each other completely and utterly, with no space for petty interpersonal jealousy in that love. And that's why, in spite of all the messiness and issues that they are going to have to overcome, they are strong enough to make it through.

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