Midrashic Grandma Story

In Torah it says at the start of Sh’mot, “these were the ones who went down to Egypt blah blah blah Sons of Him, Sons of Him, Sons of Him, and Serach, daughter of Asher”

And then at the end when they’re leaving Egypt it’s like “and these ones were leaving, Sons of Him, Sons of Him, Sons of Him.  And Asher’s daughter was called Serach.”

ExCUSE? said the rabbis. A woman has a name? And she is in the list both going INTO Egypt and also going OUT of Egypt 400 years later??? WHAT IS UP WITH THAT

(a woman having a name kind of bothered them more than a woman living for 400 years. that wasn’t a problem apparently. they could have been like “well it’s her great-great–great-whatever-granddaughter” but no.  IT WAS SERACH BAT ASHER, THE OLDEST JEW IN EGYPT.  Time is fake in Torah anyway)

So anyway… to answer their own question, as to why this lady appears twice, generations apart, the rabbis said, well.  What happened is, when Joseph’s brothers found out he was alive, they didn’t want to just TELL JACOB about it, because Jacob was OLD, and they didn’t want to be like “so remember when your favorite son died? Yyyyyeah, we made that up.  Actually we sold him to some dudes? He’s ok, he’s in Egypt, he’s fine, though.” Like what if Jacob had a heart attack? They couldn’t just DO that to him

So instead Asher gets his daughter Serach to play on the lyre for Jacob. “Play something soothing,” he says. “Make it, like, poetic.”

“Soothing,” says Serach, “Yes that is my specialty, I am an excellent soother.”

She goes and sits n Jacob’s tent and plays the lyre while crooning a soft song of her own composition. “Jooooseeeeeeeeph~ is alive~ yalalalai~ Joseph is alive in Egypt~ yaDAdadadai~ he has two sons called Ephraim and Menashe~ lailai~” and Jacob after about 40 minutes of this is like wait a SECOND

and he’s like “THE MOUTH THAT HAS TOLD ME THAT JOSEPH LIVES, THAT MOUTH SHALL NEVER TASTE DEATH!!!!!” and Serach is like “cool”

So she goes down to Egypt and everything.  She’s still there 400 years later.  Sometimes someone goes to her like “so this guy says he’s our redeemer?” and she’s like “did he have the PASSWORD” and they’re like “no?” and she’s like “then it’s NOT THE GUY” until finally they’re like “so this guy Moses?” “PASSWORD?” “well he said something about the god of Abraham Isaac and–” “THAT’S HIM OMG GET HIM BACK HERE”

She also tells Moses where Joseph’s bones are buried because we couldn’t leave Egypt without them.  It’s the night before Pesach and everyone is running around like headless chickens and Serach is like SHIT.  MOSES IS GONNA FORGET JOSEPH! so she goes and says “Our father Joseph was buried in a lead coffin and thrown in the Nile, go get him” and Moses is like “ok???” and goes to the edge of the Nile and like, yells over the water “JOSEPH! JOSEPH! WE CAN’T LEAVE WITHOUT YOU!” and Joseph’s coffin floats to the surface (presumably glowing with a faint supernatural phosphorescence) and Moses is like “cool”

So that’s how things went down in Egypt.  Bubbe Serach had all the Secrets that everyone else had forgotten, because she had Seen It All.  She had all the passwords so we knew who to trust when it came to fleeing the country.  Et cetera.  Pretty neat, right? Thanks rabbis

BUT THAT’S NOT ALL, for what does the Talmud say in a totally different area?

“The sages debated the appearance of the waters when the Israelites crossed the Reed Sea.  Rabbi Yochanan said, “it was like a wall of lattice.” But Serach Bat Asher became angry, and she declared, “what are you saying? I was there, and it was like glass windows!”” (incidentally, this is important to debates over mechitzahs to this day)

BUT WAIT, u say.  BUBBE SERACH IS STILL HERE??? It’s been the ENTIRE HISTORY OF ANCIENT ISRAEL.  Temples have been built! Temples have fallen! Exiles have occurred! Rabbi Yochanan has been born and grown into a beautiful ornament for the town square who also has opinions on what water looks like! and SERACH IS JUST SITTING IN THE BACK OF THE BET MIDRASH LIKE “excuse me that is NOT how it happened” while the rabbis presumably look at each other like “shit we forgot grandma was gonna be here today” and Serach is like YOU LISTEN TO ME YOUNG MAN

SHE CAN NEVER DIE!!! SHE IS STILL OUT THERE!!! LOOK BEHIND YOU, WHO’S THAT CLICKING HER TONGUE AND SHAKING HER HEAD AT THE DVAR TORAH???

IT’S GRANDMA SERACH!!!!

magic grandma definitely needs to be on this blog

first week of classes and I’m already feeling overwhelmed and imposter syndrome is creeping up on me.

so made my first sigils ever to try to help me have a better semester.

*author note: As a jewish conversion student who is finding my jewish studies so absolutely wonderful and finding judaism to be so absolutely helpful I am as well looking for a bracha about studying / learning in general education to add to this so I can have just that extra touch of ‘universe, please help me out on this.’

@esoteriqueer @queerkeitcoven (for sharing jewish fun with friends. :D)

@duckievamp (for sharing magic endeavors with friends)

((since both of you are likely confused, this is Fatespectrum))

Nice!

And there is a brakha for studying — several, in fact!

The traditional blessing for studying Torah is: “Barukh ata etc... la‘asoq bedivrei Torah” — “Blessed are you, G!d, Ruler of the Universe, who made us holy with commandments, and commanded us to study words of Torah.” You can certainly interpret Torah here broadly to include all kinds of spiritual education.

The Talmud also has a number of prayers and meditations to say before entering a classroom. One such prayer, attributed to Rabbi Nehunia ben haQaneh, is in BT Berakhot 28b:

A similar prayer for entering the classroom is found in the Jerusalem/Palestinian Talmud, PT Berakhot 4:2:

In the medieval tradition, a number of Biblical verses were seen as effective to guard against forgetting one’s learning, including Leviticus 1:1; Deuteronomy 33:4; Psalm 19; Psalm 111:4; Psalm 119:9-12, 18, 34, 97-105, 130, and 140; and Psalm 134. These actually formed part of a larger body of textual traditions related to an angelic figure called Sar haTorah, “the Prince of Torah,” who was responsible for ensuring that scholars remembered their learning. For more on this see Michael Swartz’s book Scholastic Magic: Ritual and Revelation in Early Jewish Mysticism and Ivan Marcus’ book Rituals of Childhood: Jewish Acculturation in Medieval Europe. Part of the tradition was actually to write these verses on eggs and cakes and eat them — literally ingesting and internalizing the words of Torah. But I’m sure that reciting them would be equally effective. :)

So @scryingthestars​ that is probably way more than you wanted to know but I hope that some of that is helpful! You obviously shouldn’t try and take this all on at once, but if there’s a particular verse or phrase here that jumps out at you, go with it! And good luck with school!