Jordan’s Blog

Every time I go to read doujinshi I turn my volume all the way down but I also turn my ringer off as though the moans from the gay sex ads will be communicated in Morse code

Somehow Oshi no Ko smacked me over the head with foreshadowing and I said “he he hoo, wonder what that means” and did not see AT ALL where the first episode was going but it sure did go there

Once again remembering that Kiss Him Not Me fanfic where Nanashima was an imprisoned witch and Igarashi was the prison guard and they fell in love and tried to run away together but they got caught and were hung together and their dead bodies were still holding hands. Wild

I just lit my cigarette using a lit candle because my house managers have hidden the lighters

Me watching Junjo Romantica

Me watching Junjo Romantica

Trigger warning ⚠️:

My mom committed suicide. I don’t even have anything else to say about it, I’m just so in denial that I’m numb and acting normal. I’m just hoping she’s at peace and I’m so directionless without her.

If I die we don’t need to do the whole “they were a joy to be around and all their friends loved them” and shit, you can just tell people I spent my life making tumblr memes and reading yaoi at 3am.

My friend: It doesn’t hurt to shoot your shot

Me shooting my shot:

Going to church part 2:

I don’t agree with Jeff’s views but I loved his sermon:

- “and on the seventh day God sat back and drank an Arnold Palmer”

- Found out the Egyptian creation story is that Ra the Sun god cried and his tears became humans

- Found out the Mesopotamian creation story is that one god had a bunch of laborer gods and they went on strike so he created humans to do the work gods don’t want to do

- said the Hebrews and Israelites were brave for having different beliefs while in slavery, and I agree

- Said the creation story in Genesis is entirely different from the scientific explanation because science “explains” but Genesis “describes” and God is beyond science, I still don’t get it

- referenced Marilynne Robinson who I apparently need to check out, a Pulitzer Prize winner

I was surprised by the diversity in the choir.

There’s a lot of leopard print. One woman had on a lime green shirt with just full on leopards printed on it and I want to knock it but it’s honestly sick.

I just remembered the time we were learning about the American Revolution in elementary school so the teachers started acting like queens and kings and made us pay using their currency to go to recess and made us walk in line with our hands behind our backs and with puffed cheeks so we wouldn’t talk. Anyway Mr. T had me come to the front of the room to demonstrate how to walk in line and he pointed at my mouth and I already had a couple screws loose so I bit him. He didn’t even get mad, he just pulled his hand back and laughed, although I did get fined some T bucks. There were also some kids that were planning a revolt and they got me in on it during music class and we hatched a plan. One of the kids told Mr. T that the music teacher needed to talk to him so he left the classroom, and once they were gone a kid slammed his desk into the door so he couldn’t get back in. Sadly the kid that told Mr. T to talk to the music teacher was sacrificed outside for the greater good, may he Rest In Peace. Eventually the responsible kid in our class pulled the desk away from the door and Mr. T came in laughing. He said that was exactly the kind of thing we were supposed to learn, to stand up to tyranny. He might’ve been the coolest teacher I ever had. The funniest thing about all this was that the kids down the hall loved their ‘queen’ and would make her art for the walls in the hallway about how great she was. Us kids in Mr. T’s class were just built different I guess.

Every year my mom vandalizes a reflection calendar with pictures of Keanu to make a “with Keanu” calendar for her friend. These are some highlights:

(Guys, selling these would be illegal lol. All it takes is a printer and some glue, get creative 😂)

I think English teachers overanalyze stories because there’s subconscious meaning in everything or they’re just using their own experiences and applying them. Like there’s that famous joke “the curtains were blue” and the author didn’t mean anything by it but an English teacher will be like “the blue curtains represent depression”. Maybe this author didn’t mean that but there are other authors who use color symbolism. Maybe it’s a guess at the mental state of someone who would buy blue curtains. I guess I’m saying English teachers have headcanons.