sister Imitation Crab Leg and I are walking back to our quarters in the convent. We have been close for many months but, tonight... something is different. I tell myself I was imagining the heat I felt between us, but how could I imagine the looking away when our eyes met (both hers and mine), the white skin of her face becoming red (no doubt matching mine own) the one instance our hands met (though who pulled away first, who could say). No, no, I know she feels the same I do.
But I also know that I cannot keep myself from her any longer. I know that I am willing to burn all that I have in the fire bearing her name. I know that she feels the same way. ... I know that she will not act first.
We are at our quarters, and I realize with a start and a moment of precipitous terror that our time together for the night has ended. I pull her into my own room, forcing myself to first check the hallway with a force of will surely sent from God (accompanied by His bountiful Mercy as well, for both ends are clear). A quickly-muffled squawk and a quiet slam and we are inside.
'Sister Queen what is the meaning of thus!' she whispers, too surprised to even make it a question.
I find it hard to speak. I look at the ground, and at her, and very quickly at the ground again. 'Sister Imitation Crab Leg.... I. I love you. I have loved you for so long but now I know the feeling's name and I know its face and I know that it is yours.'
'You! What!' now she struggled to even whisper.
If she were anyone else, I would be worried I was wrong. If I were anyone else, I would not see that I was right in her eyes, hear it in her voice, feel it in her heart.
Barely keeping my voice within the room's thin walls, I redefine: 'I *need* you. Please. Say that you feel the same way,' With that, I place my hand on her face. Her fear says that she should pull away, and she almost does. But then, she feels the fire in her heart that is a mirror of my own, and she closes her eyes, and lets herself feel my touch.
When her eyes open again, they are occluded with tears. 'I cannot say 'no' to you, surely you must know this. Please, please, pull away and thus relinquish my need to.'
'I know that you cannot, but I will only continue if you say 'yes'.' How could I force what pain awaits us when the Abbottess finds out (and she will) upon someone I love so dearly?
'Then. Then.... Yes. Of course, yes. I need you so much I thought that my very Spirit should break. The pain, of uncertainty and loneliness, you have saved me from should see you sainted for your mercy. I love you, for this even beyond my pain's cause.'
I lean forward, slowly: I've never done this before. She neither, it seems, for she sees my intent and welcomes it, but can only acquiesce for her ignorance.
Her lips are soft, and warm, and everything I had prayed for.
