It's a beautiful day and you are an Apocalypse Goose

Thinking of the larger context of LOTR and like, the fellowship swapping old war stories and shit and Sam just says “Yeah I killed a huge spider…Shelob, I think?”

And Gandalf just blinks and is like, “You what now?”

“Yeah, killed it. Had to save Frodo”

Gandalf elects not to tell Sam that he killed the spawn of a primordial demon.

the daughter of the embodiment of darkness which ate the original sun and moon and almost ate the devil.

That's not important. What is important is that it was a danger to Mister Frodo.

Time for me to info dump about Sam and Shelob.

In lord of the rings lore, there are three tiers of deities. The highest tier and most dangerous includes Morgoth - Sauron’s master, and Ungoliant, Shelob’s master. The middle tier includes Shelob, Sauron. Then there’s the lowest tier, which includes the wizards Gandalf and Saruman as well as the Balrog (this is why Gandalf couldn’t 1v1 the Balrog). It also explains why Gandalf doesn’t take the ring, the magic of a tier 2 deity would absolutely corrupt him. We even see that happen with Saruman and the Palantir.

This leads to the start of the answer to some interesting questions. Why does Sauron tolerate Shelob being in his territory, and why does Sauron tolerate there being a secret back door into Mordor?

On the surface, he does it because he might not be able to beat Shelob in a fight, after all they’re the same tier of deity. And since Shelob’s domain is the secret way into Mordor, he can’t close it off, and he seriously doubts anyone can use it to get in. He doesn’t monitor the path with guards either - Shelob would eat them.

It gets more detailed than that though. Sauron’s boss, Morgoth, and Shelob’s boss, Ungoliant, made a deal. They’d attack the tree of life together. Morgoth would drink the nectar, and Ungoliant would keep all of the jewels and magic they earned along the way. Morgoth broke this deal because there was a particularly powerful gem he wanted (the gem in Sauron’s helmet), and as a result Ungoliant went to war with Morgoth.

Ungoliant won, Morgoth barely escaped with his life.

So not only does Sauron maybe lose if he attacks Shelob. Even if he were to win, it might provoke Ungoliant into attacking Morgoth again, and Ungoliant wins that fight, she’s already done it once.

With all of that established, how the hell does Sam hurt a deity that powerful?

Well, to start, it’s impossible. Shelob’s hide is so tough Sam could never pierce it with all his might. However, Shelob had grown old and arrogant. During the fight, Sam winds up directly underneath Shelob, and Shelob decides to crush Sam with all her strength.

Unfortunately, Sam is pointing sting straight up.

While Sam lacks the strength to hurt Shelob, Shelob herself is plenty strong. She accidentally impales herself on sting, finding herself injured for the first time in thousands of years. Which is the sort of poetry I really appreciate about Tolkien’s writing.

No matter how powerful or evil or ancient or indestructible your foe, if you stand for what is right and hold your sword out, they will impale themselves upon it.

Sam’s backstory in this scene is much simpler. He has to save Frodo.

I love it when tolkien fans reblog posts with the deep lore receipts. Thank you

PSA: Paypal on some more shady shit

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tag an artist save a life etc

this seems to be a US only thing atm but check your accounts just to be sure

Waistcoat

1810-1819

The Metropolitan Museum of Art

"Waistcoats of the 18th and 19th centuries served as a layer protection and ornamentation during a period in fashion when the coat was intended to be left open in the front. The color was often chosen to complement the suit and covered in imaginative embroideries, heavily woven patterns or shiny satins made to draw the eye. The style of the neck, the length and the hem treatment fluctuated as the tastes changed from over-sized coats of the early 18th century to narrow tightly fitted coats of the late 18th century and onward.

This vest is exemplary of the shape and cut from the early 19th century with its stand collar, long unfitted length and long row of buttons."

The term “witch” is colloquially used for any number of magical practitioners. From fairy witches, troll witches, and most commonly human practitioners of the magical arts. However the “True Witch” is not human at all but a member of the Annis family which includes a multitude of varying species. Arguably the most notorious and widely known member of this genus is the Green skinned True Witch. Their aggressive nature and proclivity for darker arts has widely informed much of the world’s view of both True Witches and witches alike. 

Their “witch hat” is actually a horn that grows over time and denotes rank in their coven. Should the Reverend be struck down from their position their horn is broken by the new leader. 

The Green Skinned True Witch lives under a strict caste system of subordinates and their sole Reverend leader. A coven can be as small as two, which are typically absorbed by larger surrounding covens, or as larger as 50. Older, stronger Reverends are able to command such a brood but heavy is the crown who wears it as their reign is fleeting. Should a formidable member of their coven, or an outside witch, seek the position, it is a battle that in many cases ends in a sole survivor. Should the opponent or reigning Reverend survive, they are typically cast out. The victor will keep the defeated’s horn as a symbol of their power

Official Promo Art from Studio Trigger

asking people to be mindful of others when sharing a communal space (especially one you cannot just up and leave from) is not selfish or misanthropic. come on now

yeah

"It's ok to disappoint people." has got to be MOST powerful, life changing advice I have ever heard.

ID: A screenshot of tags which say, #listen to me. you cannot live your life trying to meet everyone's expectations #it's your fucking life and ar the end of the day you need to do what makes you happy #let them think whatever they want #you shouldn't live your life for others /end ID

you will live and you will say the wrong things and make mistakes and people will love you anyways.

i made this post because i've got so many friends that think saying something wrong in a conversation is the end of the world. it isn't. you'll be okay. you don't have to be embarrassed about every little thing. you are alive and doing things and speaking to people. you will make mistakes and you will live.

if shes your girl then why have i slowly been replacing her parts until there’s nothing left of her original body? is she then still your girl?

They ship of theseus’d my girl

Can’t have shit in Detroit

this actually perfectly demonstrates the transitive property of memes: you can replace a meme piece by piece until it only structurally resembles the original, and it is, in fact, the same meme.

call that the meme of theseus thesis

tumblrites can have a little intertextuality as a treat

my naym is ship and when i’m broke the broken part from me they toke

replace the part had been the plan but in the morn hand door car man

*me shoving transitive properties into my purse* sorry, I have to go

We owe the reddit refugees an apology for making them see posts like this

no we don’t this shit is enrichment in their new enclosure

*slaps roof of Tumblr* This baby can fit so many rare vintages, you just have to go deep enough, there are some great memes in the cellar, come see

furry haters piss me off like for sure fuck these fun creative and inspired chill people because i think theyre weird. i just saw art of an anthro wolf that is also a fridge and it had fridge magnets on it and its tail was a bag of ice it was fucking awesome

this is so fucking fun you are lying to yourself if you don't think this guy is fun

hey i know this guy! fridge wolf was made by my good friend morgan! morgan loves designing fun and unique characters with little to no limits. here are some more fun and cute designs they've made!

if you think the blanket manta is the cutest thing you've ever seen and wish it was real, you're in luck! you can buy a plushie of it right here at this link!

you should also consider checking out their patreon! the $10 and $30 subscription tiers grant you access to design requests, where you can throw your most fun and crazy ideas at them and they might pick your idea and draw it, and you'll be allowed to keep their rendition of your idea.

sorry to be a shill, it was just so discombobulating to just see their art on my dash and i can't help but uplift and promote my friends ;v;

bingewatching will never come close to bingereading. there is nothing like blocking out the entire Earth for ten hours to read a book in one sitting no food no water no shower no bra and emerging at the end with no idea what time it is or where you are, a dried-up prune that's sensitive to light and loud noises because you've been in your room in the dark reading by the glow of a single LED. it's like coming back after a three-month vacation in another dimension and now you have to go downstairs and make dinner. absolutely transcendental

flu season or smth

“Bottlecaps”

My submission for ArtOrder’s Tiny Dragons project! This was made with my usual mess of watercolor, ink, and colored pencil on 8x8″ hotpress watercolor paper…this time I really tried to pin down the value structure of the whole piece, and I’m feeling good about that aspect of it. :D 

Prints available here. 

playing chinese instrument sanxianqin三弦琴 on zhongyuan festival (cr:JIn静思)

Oh this FUCKS