mouthporn.net
@putas666 on Tumblr
Avatar

SuNsHiNe CaKe LoVe

@putas666 / putas666.tumblr.com

Male | 21 | ♋ | INTP
Avatar
reblogged

1. “Spectres” Tommy discovers the fates of his houses previous occupants when he suddenly wakes up covered in scratches.

2. “Power” One continuous 22 minute long shot of Chuckie staring blankly at you, the only music is the final note of the theme song being held for the entirety of the episode. 15 minutes in, blood begins to run down tommys head. There is no title card, or credits.

3. “In Flight” stock footage of Wasps flying to a mournful piano song interspersed with footage of a dead wasp being splattered by a large boot.

4. “Chuckie Finster” When a horde of ravenous locusts invades the Finster household, Chuckie does not survive. Chuckies family and friends spend the episode mourning him and talking about the good times they’ve had with him

5. “Chuckie Finster Overdrive” Several weeks after the gang accepts Chuckies loss, several alternate versions of Chuckie with sepArate personalities appear around the Pickles household

6. “Forever And Ever” Tommy receives a vision from Chuckie one night, telling him that he has become god, and that Tommy may serve with him at the price of Phil and Lil’s lives. Tommy spends the episode contemplating the choice. Infinite power? Or the Life of your friends?

7. “Boogie-Woogie Blues” Chuckie wants to start disco dancing, but no adults will let him! Tommy and the gang try to convince the adults the benefits of disco. Episode ends in a dance party.

8. “Dil” Dils entire birth, from his POV.

9. “No Half Measures” Reality is questioned when DiDi begins watching “Breaking Bad”, a show that would not premiere for almost two decades.

10. “Oddysey” When serving in Iraq, Stu is kept as a prisoner of war, and has to anything he can to escape. Even things that are of a questionable morality.

11.”Nature” The Pickles household learns to adapt to a new world when mutated, man-eating plants begin to overrun earth.

12. “Oddysey Pt. 2″  Stu gets in to a mess of crime, drugs, and sex when he is forced to lay low for a while in Iraq.

13. “Playing God Has Consequences” When Tommy and the gang see the corpse of a small infant on the side of a road, they attempt to reanimate him, with horrific results.

14. “Revelation” Stu reads part of The Book Of Revelation in an almost pitch-black dark cave.

15. “Limits” Friendships are tested when Lil goes missing for months.

16. “Emotion” Drew crying against a black screen for 22 minutes, there is no color but black and white and there is no music but a sad violin composition.

17. “Fire” The Pickles household becomes on edge when random fire begin to appear around the house, their worries heighten when Tommy begins staring into them, enamored.

18. “Saigon” A POV view of Tommy’s time fighting in the battle of Saigon during the Vietnam war.

Avatar
reblogged
Avatar
splendidland

my idea for a new disney world ride. please signal boost this so that this ride can be at disney world.

Avatar
reblogged
Avatar
perilegs

2016 memes

January: •bad new year jokes •if a dog wore pants would he wear them like this or this •all these suggestion blogs •orange soda please i’ll have the strawberry soda me too, the strawberry soda •You fucked up a perfectly good x is what you did. Look at them. They got anxiety. •kylo ren is shredded •Jared Leto: *does something* Director: oh my God…it’s like…is he Jared…or Joker right now????? •tag yourself •super mario 64 half a press •this is x. be like x

February: •the finebros suing something •secret government agent: *punches me in the face* SAY IT me: never secret government agent: x me: *spits blood in their face* fUCK YOU •bernie or hillary things that have a ridicilous issue and even funnier answers •jean something, jomething •damn daniel •ted cruz is the zodiac killer

March: •the dad from kuzco being like 👌 •kazoo kid •everyone who watched zootopia is a furry •history of japan •x or y? *insert similiar pictures here, like donald trump and raw chicken* •get you a man that can do both •going to papaw’s house for burgers •no oscar meme is dead meme •we dem boyz •i’m you but stronger

April: •marge simpson •different variations of the hs panel where jade picks up the note •tumblr’s lizard voting •everyone’s a dirty homestuck •lot of those powerpuff selves •baby stevens •ruining someone’s dream journal •there’s no way out of it you’ll just have to decapitate me •autocorrect in verbal conversation person1: i love you person1: *hate person2: this is a verbal conversation •WHAT WE REALLY AREEE •don’t talk to me or my son ever again •dark x show me y

May: •dan backslide (and dover boys) •dat boi •stone age spongebob

June: •are you x or y person? (tag yourself meme in text format) •get a man who can do both is getting more popular again •it’s june where the fuck are halloween memes???

July: •america memes •IT’S HALLOWEEN •the vacuum cleaner playing a harmonica •associating characters/songs/etc. with spongebob screenshots •this👏emoji👏after👏every👏word •(any videogame) go, go outside and x •a picture of something with text, and more pictures after that, in every one of the pictures the picture starts getting waaay worse, but the text gets really detailed •HANDSY👏CLAPSY👏IS👏A👏NEW👏TROLLSONA👏 •judge: how do you plead? x: *looks at y* y: *mouths ‘not guilty’* x: hot milky y: jc just lock them up •hitting the blue button

August: •arthur screenshot where his hand is a fist •9-1-1 for kids •Exeggutor •harambe •RANDY YOUR STICKS •sausage party •how (character) are you feeling today? *numbers from 1 to ten with silly pictures of the character* •alola form

September: •the thing with voltron fandom where there’s train tracks and “death in season 2” and two characters and u have to choose which one to kill •someone: a basic word me, an intellectual: that word said with synonyms to make it sound weird •gonna prank dad when he gets home ((he never gets home)) •[song] but it keeps getting faster

October: •userboxes •the presidental debate, i can’t believe that there still are people who want to vote trump after that, yikes •dedede •you vs the guy she told you not to worry about •photofunia retrowave •picture of someone with those math things •my longest yeah boy ever •taking a picture of something that requiers two hands in a bathroom •posting ur favourite vines

November: •christmas stuff •dick: out •sir, you’ve been in coma •kermit with a hood on his head •blurred image that says perfection, after that an image where glasses are being cleaned, and then something u like •WE ARE NUMBER ONE

December: •BODE • *picture of really basic or bad food with text that’s spelled wrong and the phrase “bon appetit” is spelled even more wrong" •*dropping something, and it spells send nudes* •x but every time y happens it gets faster *bee movie but every time they say bee it gets faster •several spongebob memes •i described the meme about bad pictures with detailed text in july, it’s wildly popular now •dramatic youtubers

Avatar
reblogged

An old and homely grandmother accidentally summons a demon. She mistakes him for her gothic-phase teenage grandson and takes care of him. The demon decides to stay at his new home.

It isn’t uncommon for this particular demon to be summoned—from exhausting Halloween party pranks in abandoned barns to more legitimate (more exhausting) ceremonies in forests—but it has to admit, this is the first time it’s been called forth from its realm into a claustrophobic living room bathed in the dull orange-pink glow of old glass lamps and a multitude of wide-eyed, creepy antique porcelain dolls that could give Chucky a run for his money with all of their silent, seething stares combined. Accompanying those oddities are tea cup and saucer sets on shelves atop frilly doilies crocheted with the utmost care, and cross-stitched, colorful ‘Home Sweet Home’s hung across the wood-paneled walls.

It’s a mistake—a wrong number, per se. No witch it’s ever known has lived in such an, ah, dated, home. Furthermore, no practitioner that ever summoned it has been absent, as if they’d up and ding-dong ditched it. No, it didn’t work that way. Not at all. Not if they want to survive the encounter.

It hears the clinking of movement in the room adjacent—the kitchen, going by the pungent, bitter scent of cooled coffee and soggy, sweet sponge cakes, but more jarring is the smell of blood. It moves—feels something slip beneath its clawed foot as it does, and sees a crocheted blanket of whites and greys and deep black yarn, wound intricately, perfectly, into a summoning circle. Its summoning circle. There is a small splash of bright scarlet and sharp, jagged bits of a broken curio scattered on top, as if someone had dropped it, attempted to pick it up the pieces and pricked their finger. It would explain the blood. And it would explain the demon being brought into this strange place.

As it connects these pieces in its mind, the inhabitant of the house rounds the corner and exits the kitchen, holding a damp, white dish towel close to her hand and fumbling with the beaded bifocals hanging from her neck by a crocheted lanyard before stopping dead in her tracks.

Now, to be fair, the demon wouldn’t ordinarily second guess being face-to-face with a hunchbacked crone with a beaked nose, beady eyes and a peculiar lack of teeth, or a spidery shawl and ankle-length black dress, but there is definitely something amiss here. Especially when the old biddy lets her spectacles fall slack on her bosom and erupts into a wide, toothy (toothless) grin, eyes squinting and crinkling from the sheer effort of it.

“Todd! Todd, dear, I didn’t know you were visiting this year! You didn’t call, you didn’t write—but, oh, I’m so happy you’re here, dear! Would it have been too much to ask you to ring the doorbell? I almost had a heart attack. And don’t worry about the blood, here—I had an accident. My favorite figure toppled off of the table and cleanup didn’t go as expected. But I seem to recall you are quite into the bloodshed and ‘edgy’ stuff these days, so I don’t suppose you mind.” She releases a hearty, kind laugh, but it isn’t mocking, it’s sweet. Grandmotherly. The demon is by no means sentimental or maudlin, but the kindness, the familiarity, the genuine fondness, does pull a few dusty old nostalgic heartstrings. “Imagine if it leaves a scar! It’d be a bit ‘badass,’ as you teenagers say, wouldn’t it?”

She is as blind as a bat without her glasses, it would appear, because the demon is by no means a ‘Todd’ or a human at all, though humanoid, shrouded in sleek, black skin and hard spikes and sharp claws. But the demon humors her, if only because it had been caught off guard.

The old woman smiles still, before turning on her heel and shuffling into the hallway with a stiff gait revealing a poor hip. “Be a dear and make some more coffee, would you please? I’ll be back in a jiffy.”

Yes, this is most definitely a mistake. One for the record books, for certain. For late-night trips to bars and conversations with colleagues, while others discuss how many souls they’d swindled in exchange for peanuts, or how many first-borns they’d been pledged for things idiot humans could have gained without divine intervention. Ugh. Sometimes it all just became so pedantic that little detours like this were a blessing—happy accidents, as the humans would say.

That’s why the demon does as asked, and plods slowly into the kitchen, careful to duck low and avoid the top of the doorframe. That’s why it gingerly takes the small glass pot and empties it of old, stale coffee and carefully, so carefully, takes a measuring scoop between its claws and fills the machine with fresh grounds. It’s as the hot water is percolating that the old woman returns, her index finger wrapped tight in a series of beige bandages.

“I’m surprised you’re so tall, Todd! I haven’t seen you since you were at my hip! But your mother mails photos all the time—you do love wearing all black, don’t you?” She takes a seat at the small round table in the corner and taps the glass lid of the cake plate with quaking, unsteady, aged hands. “I was starting to think you’d never visit. Your father and I have had our disagreements, but…I am glad you’re here, dear. Would you like some cake?” Before the demon has a chance to decline, she lifts the lid and cuts a generous slice from the near-complete circle that has scarcely been touched. It smells of citrus and cream and is, as assumed earlier, soggy, oversaturated with icing.

It was made for a special occasion, for guests, but it doesn’t seem this old woman receives much company in this musty, stagnant house that smells like an antique garage that hadn’t had its dust stirred in years.

Especially not from her absentee grandson, Todd.

The demon waits until the coffee pot is full, and takes two small mugs from the counter, filling them until steam is frothing over the rims. Then, and only then, does it accept the cake and sit, with some difficulty, in a small chair at the small table. It warbles out a polite ‘thank you,’ but it doesn’t suppose the woman understands. Manners are manners regardless.

“Oh, dear, I can hardly understand. Your voice has gotten so deep, just like your grandfather’s was. That, and I do recall you have an affinity for that gravelly, screaming music. Did your voice get strained? It’s alright, dear, I’ll do the talking. You just rest up. The coffee will help soothe.”

The demon merely nods—some communication can be understood without fail—and drinks the coffee and eats the cake with a too-small fork. It’s ordinary, mushy, but delicious because of the intent behind it and the love that must have gone into its creation.

“I hope you enjoyed all of the presents I sent you. You never write back—but I am aware most people use that fancy E-mail these days. I just can’t wrap my head around it. I do wish your mom and dad would visit sometime. I know of a wonderful little café down the street we can go to. I haven’t been; I wanted to visit it with Charles, before he…well.” She falls silent in her rambling, staring into her coffee with a small, melancholy smile. “I can’t believe it’s been ten years. You never had the chance to meet him. But never mind that.” Suddenly, and with surprising speed that has the demon concerned for her well being, she moves to her feet, bracing her hands on the edge of the table. “I may as well give you your birthday present, since you’re here. What timing! I only finished it this morning. I’ll be right back.”

When she returns, the white, grey and black crocheted work with the summoning circle is bundled in her arms.  

“I found these designs in an occult book I borrowed from the library. I thought you’d like them on a nice, warm blanket to fight off the winter chill—I hope you do like it.” With gentle hands, she spreads the blanket over the demon’s broad, spiky back like a shawl, smoothing it over craggy shoulders and patting its arms affectionately. “Happy birthday, Todd, dear.”

Well, that settles it. Whoever, wherever, Todd is, he’s clearly missing out. The demon will just have to be her grandson from now on.

Avatar
voidbat

this is so sweet. it made me want to hug someone.

i had to

I WOULD WATCH SIX SEASONS AND A MOVIE

Okay but she takes him to the little cafe and all of the people in her town are like “What is that thing, what the hell, Anette?” and she’s like “Don’t you remember my grandson Todd?” and the entire town just has to play along because no one will tell little old Nettie that her grandson is an actual demon because this is the happiest she’s been since her husband died.

Bonus: In season 4 she makes him run for mayor and he wins

I just want to watch ‘Todd’ help her with groceries, and help her with cooking, and help her clean up the dust around the house and air it out, and fill it with spring flowers because Anette mentioned she loved hyacinth and daffodils.   Over the seasons her eyesight worsens, so ‘Todd’ brings a hellhound into the house to act as her seeing eye dog, and people in town are kinda terrified of this massive black brute with fur that drips like thick oil, and a mouth that can open all the way back to its chest, but ‘Honey’ likes her hard candies, and doesn’t get oil on the carpet, and when ‘Todd’ has to go back to Hell for errands, Honey will snuggle up to Anette and rest his giant head on her lap, and whuff at her pockets for butterscotch.  Anette never gives ‘Todd’ her soul, but she gives him her heart

In season six, Anette gets sick. She spends most of the season bedridden and it becomes obvious by about midway through the season that she’s not going to make it to the end of the season. Todd spends the season travelling back and forth between the human realm and his home plane, trying hard to find something, anything that will help Anette get better, to prolong her life. He’s tried getting her to sell him her soul, but she’s just laughed, told him that he shouldn’t talk like that. With only a few episodes left in the season Anette passes away, Todd is by her side. When the reaper comes for her Todd asks about the fate of her soul. In a dispassionate voice the reaper informs Todd that Anette spent the last few years of her life cavorting with creatures of darkness, that there can be only one fate for her. Todd refuses to accept this and he fights the reaper, eventually injuring the creature and driving it off. Knowing that Anette cannot stay in the Human Realm, and refusing to allow her spirit to be taken by another reaper, so he takes her soul in his arms. He’s done this before, when mortals have sold themselves to him. This time the soul cradled against his chest does not snuggle and fight. This time the soul held tight against him reaches out, pats him on the cheek tells him he was a good boy, and so handsome, just like his grandfather.  Todd takes Anette back to the demon realm, holding her tight against him as he travels across the bleak and forebidding landscape; such a sharp contrast to the rosy warmth of Anette’s home. Eventually, in a far corner of his home plane, Todd finds what he is looking for. It is a place where other demons do not tread; a large boulder cracked and broken, with a gap just barely large enough for Todd to fit through. This crack, of all things, gives him pause, but Anette’s soul makes a comment about needing to get home in time to feed Honey, and Todd forces himself to pass through it. He travels in darkness for a while, before he emerges into into a light so bright that it’s blinding. His eyes adjust slowly, and he finds himself face to face with two creatures, each of them at least twice his size one of them has six wings and the head of a lion, one of them is an amorphous creature within several rings. The lion-headed one snarls at Todd, and demands that he turn back, that he has no business here.  Todd looks down, holding Anette’s soul against his chest, he takes a deep breath, and speaks a single word, “Please.” The two larger beings are taken aback by this. They are too used to Todd’s kind being belligerent, they consult with each other, they argue. The amorphous one seems to want to be lenient, the lion-headed one insists on being stricter. While they’re arguing Todd sneaks by them and runs as fast as he can, deeper into the brightly lit expanse. The path on which he travels begins to slope upwards, and eventually becomes a staircase. It becomes evident that each step further up the stair is more and more difficult for Todd, that it’s physically paining him to climb these stairs, but he keeps going.

They dedicate a full episode to this climb; interspersing the climb with scenes they weren’t able to show in previous seasons, Anette and Honey coming to visit Todd in the Mayor’s office, Anette and Todd playing bingo together for the first time, Anette and Todd watching their stories together in the mid afternoon, Anette falling asleep in her chair and Todd gently carrying her to bed. Anette making Todd lemonade in the summer while he’s up on the roof fixing that leak and cleaning out the rain gutters. Eventually Todd reaches the top, and all but collapses, he falls to a knee and for the first time his grip on Anette’s soul slips, and she falls away from him. Landing on the ground. He reaches out for her, but someone gets there first. Another hand reaches out, and helps this elderly woman off the ground, helps her get to her feet. Anette gasps, it’s Charles. The pair of them throw their arms around each other. Anette tells Charles that she’s missed him so much, and she has so much to tell him. Charles nods. Todd watches a soft smile on his face. A delicate hand touches Todd’s shoulder, and pulls him easily to his feet. A figure; we never see exactly what it looks like, leans down, whispering in Todd’s ear that he’s done well, and that Anette will be well taken care of here. That she will spend an eternity with her loved ones. Todd looks back over to her, she’s surrounded by a sea of people. Todd nods, and smiles. The figure behind him tells him that while he has done good in bringing Anette here, this is not his place, and he must leave. Todd nods, he knew this would be the case. Todd gets about six steps down the stairway before he is stopped by someone grabbing his shoulder again. He turns around, and Anette is standing behind him. She gives him a big hug and leads him back up the stairs, he should stay, she says. Get to know the family. Todd tries to tell her that he can’t stay, but she won’t hear it. She leads him up into the crowd of people and begins introducing him to long dead relatives of hers, all of whom give him skeptical looks when she introduces him as her grandson. The mysterious figure appears next to Todd again and tells him once more he must leave, Todd opens his mouth to answer but Anette cuts him off. Nonsense, she tells the figure. IF she’s gonna stay here forever her grandson will be welcome to visit her. She and the figure stare at each other for a moment. The figure eventually sighs and looks away, the figure asks Todd if she’s always like this. Todd just shrugs and smiles, allowing Anette to lead him through a pair of pearly gates, she’s already talking about how much cake they’ll need to feed all of these relatives. 

Avatar
gilajames

P.S. Honey is a Good Dog and gets to go, too.

the last lines of the show:

demon: you’re not blind here – but you’re not surprised. when…?

anette: oh, toddy, don’t be silly, my biological grandson’s not twelve feet tall and doesn’t scorch the furniture when he sneezes. i’ve known for ages.

demon: then why?

anette: you wouldn’t have stayed if you weren’t lonely too.

demon: you… you don’t have to keep calling me your grandson.

anette: nonsense! adopted children are just as real. now quit sniffling, you silly boy, and let’s go bake a cake. honey, heel!

honey: W̝̽̂̿͂͝Ọ̮̹̲̪̋ͦͅO̸̘͔̬͊F̜̫͙̟͕͖̙̋ͫ͌͗

that addition is a+ :)

Avatar
iopele

THE ONLY ENDING I WILL EVER ACCEPT FOR THIS

Avatar
hardykat

Every time this post shows up on my dash, it gets better (and more heart wrenching. Y’all! Stop cutting the onions okay?!).

Avatar
cell113

If ever don’t reblogging this, I’m either dead, dying, or buried under cat.

Avatar
Avatar
princekarkat

for some reason i thought both of these were the same post and i sat for awhile trying to figure out which ice cream face was the weak bitch

Avatar
Avatar
oblyvian

So lately I’ve noticed all the different kinds of girls on tumblr. The ones that have the pictures with all the notes? These five types of girls are basically all the types of girls I see on my dash. Minus the nekked girls, but I didn’t really want to draw that so :T 

Avatar
Avatar
zelamorre

Doyle Canon: This is Dr. John Watson. He has managed to have multiple love affairs on three different continents. He is a love machine. A sex god, if you will. Able to woo multiple Victorian ladies.

80% of Sherlock Holmes Adaptations: This is Dr. John Watson. He looks like a hamster.

I’m crying laughing over this I had to share

Some adaptations take it further than others.

Avatar
Avatar
zelamorre

Doyle Canon: This is Dr. John Watson. He has managed to have multiple love affairs on three different continents. He is a love machine. A sex god, if you will. Able to woo multiple Victorian ladies.

80% of Sherlock Holmes Adaptations: This is Dr. John Watson. He looks like a hamster.

I’m crying laughing over this I had to share

Some adaptations take it further than others.

Avatar
Avatar
verdantry

If I was a gay guy I would say things like “what the slay?” And “uhhh, so that that was boots”.

You are using an unsupported browser and things might not work as intended. Please make sure you're using the latest version of Chrome, Firefox, Safari, or Edge.
mouthporn.net