i'm a million years late but i think i'm gonna write a jack/anwen fic because my problematic knows no bounds and if you could time-travel to bang your unconsummated love interest's daughter... jack would. he fucking would. oops.

What's Real (and What Isn't) - original fic

Guilt, as it turns out, is one hell of a mistress to get in bed with. And an even harder one to leave the morning after.

First Few Lines

man, i’ve been tagged by @aicosu, @every-day-is-star-wars-day and @thelucidlucy to do this! yikes. now i gotta.

Rules: list the first lines of your last 20 stories. see if there are any patterns. then tag your favorite authors.

I’m just going to go down the list and then throw in a few unpublished WIPs for fun.

Wider, Baby, Smile and You’ve Just Made a Million (Girls on Film) - aka. The Unnecessary stripper!Hux Kylux fic that @every-day-is-star-wars-day and @floatin-on-bespin got from me anyways

You have a new message, Commander!

How he ends up with his helmet off, peering at the grainy footage of a video sent to him is not particularly important. What is important is that Kylo Ren now finally has firepower in which to launch at the incredibly uptight, squeaky clean General Hux he feels like he has been waiting a lifetime for. Five solid years of posturing and one-upmanship, always ending up on the bottom now soon coming to an end.

Hux better be prepared for the dressing down of a lifetime.

Folie à Trois - aka. the Reylux where everyone is mistrustful and they’re all having way too much sex anyways aka. the antithesis of Breaking Point

Hux is the first to find her, a flurry of red and white cape sweeping behind him. Walking briskly into the training room, he overrides the lock on the door, stepping over the mangled pieces of dueling droids strewn about the floor.

“I need, I need,” Rey pants, disregarding Hux’s arrival to hack away at the droid in front of her. Words come through, jagged bits and pieces. She violently pushes them towards Kylo, towards the blurred feeling of his force signature floors away.

Something. Hollow. Help. Empty. Need. She projects loud enough Kylo could hear her a whole system away were he not aboard the Finalizer, ignoring her.

Like No One Ever Was - aka. Let me wreck your feels with a Kylux Pokemon AU whups there I go I wrote for @pidgy-draws

They’re holding hands, fingers entwined, laying in the tall grass outside their secret base. The clouds lazily floated by as their meowth and poochenya chased after one another in circles nearby, yapping playfully.

“I’m going to be the Champion one day,” Hux declared triumphantly, as he poked Ben in the side. “You can be one of my Elite Four; the last one. The best one.”

Ben turned his head and kissed Hux’s freckled nose, as his eyes fluttered shut in contentment. “We have to beat them before we can replace them, Bren.”

baby i’m a dark star, oh - aka. The one time I tried to intentionally write fluff and it turned into a Soft Kylux Nightmare(™ @arkadycosplay)

The first time Ren tells him, Hux ignores it in favor of burying his face further into the bed as Ren fucks him harder. Chalks it up to a spur of the moment thing, poignantly disregarding the way Ren looks at him differently now. Not like a man that has won a hard-earned prize, but more like a man who has found something prized he once lost. Because Hux doesn’t believe in it as anything other than a ruinous machination, the kind of sentimentality that brings true power to its knees. He’s seen it before, of course– hasn’t everyone?  But he has never truly known it, never truly wanted it.

Kylo Ren must have known love as a child, as Ben Solo.

And I’ll Love You (If It Won’t Make Me Starve) - aka. The Reyux crackfic where Hux has a manners kink I wrote for @directorerso

The plan to woo Ren’s apprentice is going well.

Extremely well, in fact.

She already gives him heated, nervous glances she thinks both he and her master do not notice, drinking in his lean frame, his bright hair and pale eyes like a woman starved. Furtive glances turn to shared with a sly smile, he quirks his lips. Only she is allowed to see his amusement.

He makes sure to use a gentle touch with her, like coaxing a wild animal to your hand. The opposite of Ren’s clumsy advances.

It works.

Ascendancy - aka. The Reylux fic I made a stir with because I did a Satan Thing™ and borrowed @aicosu‘s Reylux baby, Silas, and then put him through hell and pretty much never gave him back oops

He’s fourteen when Lord Ren places the crown upon his head, not quite yet a man, but certainly no longer a child. To his right, a single solitary tear rolls down his mother’s cheek, catching in the little bits of light left that halo him from the throne. Lord Ren, his closest advisor, continues the ceremony.

He outgrew calling Lord Ren papa some years ago.

Lady Rey, however, is still mother.

Storm clouds gather overhead, bringing a wry smile to his face. His pale eyes stay trained looking to his left at Lord Ren, or at the crowd that have gathered to witness the crowning of their new Emperor. Because if he looks anywhere else in this room he will remember.

Consanguinuity - aka. My continuation of not giving Silas back and making his life only harder, poor thing

It’s a bright and sunny day, the second year of his reign as Emperor, when his mother announces she is with child.

A girl.

Silas Malavai Hux II, Emperor of the known galaxy, is sixteen years old. A full life ahead of him, his mother tells him about the barely formed cluster of cells in her body that will coalesce and become his half-sister. Then his life changes completely, tilts on its very axis at that moment in time.

It’s the closest to time standing still he has felt since his father died.

With Regards, Kanjiklub - aka. Alania wanted Bala-tik and I wanted Kylux undercover!AU and something happened aka.  General Jax/Renu Darkeyes OTP I ship that horseradish

It’s a fine night for a drink, Bala-Tik concludes. Especially when the world is raining bantha shit on you up to your ears because you royally kronged things up.

He’s more men down than he would like to admit, and still out of a fifty-thousand credit loan, which is not going to be easy to explain. Nor will be why the retrieval mission for Solo or the droid went arse-up because of the kriffing rathtars getting loose, massacring almost all of his crew, as well as the incompetent laserbrains he temporarily teamed up with that call themselves Kanjiklub.

(Lose) Control - aka. I pulled this Kylux fic out of a different Reylux fic I still haven’t published and I don’t even know why

Hux has always taken great pride in his self-control. It got him to where he is, second in charge of a very well organized and well-backed organization, his name one of the few publicly linked with the First Order and easily the most well known. Moderation and restraint have been tenants he lived his personal life by, ingrained in him since a boy from his father as behaviors to follow for the success of the Order. Its what got him swiftly promoted, getting his first stripes younger than any previous member, a paragon of virtue for anybody in the First Order to follow.

That is until he got his newest assignment, Rey.

Indiscretions - aka. The Reyux College!AU I never finished but learned I REALLY LIKE WRITING HUX

Here’s the thing about indiscretions, she surmises.

When you’re in college, you’re allowed to have them.

So if you happen to go to an upperclassmen party (sneak in) and you happen to find a guy there you end up having sex with, it’s okay. Totally okay. More than okay.

Normal.

And Now For the Fun Stuff: WIPs!

Untitled Reylo Modern!AU I’m letting percolate on my harddrive

He smiles as Rey drops a chaste kiss to his cheek but misses, catching the corner of his mouth.

It all happens so fast, Kylo setting the guitar down so he can lean in closer, press their closed lips together harder, as Rey traces the seam of his lips with her tongue, coaxing them open and now they’re really kissing, desperate and needy. She’s fisting her hands in the back of his shirt, pulling him closer, closer, closer.

And they’re kissing like it’s the only thing keeping them alive, sharing space, breathing the same air. Kylo’s hands slide up past the hem of her shirt and Rey stifles a moan as he trails his fingers absently over her stomach.

“I have wanted you so badly,” Kylo says earnestly, as his fingers continue their trail mapping her body. “Since I met you. It should feel weird, but I know you feel it too.”

Metathesis - aka. I told Alania I would her some Kylem because we are both Super Deluxe Space Trash™

“If you could try not to have this become a diplomatic incident with your antics, I would be grateful,” Hux drawls, looking up from the datapad in his lap with their itinerary. Their small shuttle is quickly approaching the docking bay to the refinery belonging to Balem Abrasax, the First Primary of House Abrasax, on Yavin Prime. “I doubt even Supreme Leader could protect you if you killed an Entitled, Ren.”

Kylo glowers at him from behind his mask, elbows resting in his knees. Hux sniffs. Returns his gaze back down. The impromptu invitation took both commanders by surprise. But Hux wasn’t going to let that keep the First Order from making a good impression with the wealthiest entities in the known galaxy. Especially ones who normally don’t concern themselves with the petty affairs of mortals.

A shitty Reylux superpowers!AU i have sitting on my harddrive I doubt will ever see the light of day

The thing about someone with the power to rewind time is, apart from the individual, no one actually knows what happened in the reality they don’t choose and leave behind. It’s a bit like deja vu for the rest of the people involved, hair-raising. For people with their powers touching the very fabric of space and time, it’s an unnatural feeling. Reality overlaying with the echoes of what almost was like after images, ghosts if you look hard enough.

Hux and Rey are in the middle of jibing Kylo for not keeping up with them when he suddenly stops, a chill running up his spine about the unnaturalness of the situation they are in.

“Stop.” Kylo’s voice has an edge of finality, as he lifts his fingers to his temple and scans the area. “I’m getting echoes here. Can you feel them, Rey? We’ve done this before.”

Cambion - aka. My 13k Multiship Sex Cult!AU masterpiece I am still diligently working on and will be until the end of fucking time at this rate

“Mr. Finn, thank you for showing up today. Are you comfortable?”

“Yeah…”

“We appreciate your willingness to comply with this investigation. I assure you we can protect you from the First Order if they choose to take action against you. Though I am sure they are aware that would not be in their best interests currently.”

“Mmmhmm.”

“We’re aware you’ve chosen to testify as a prosecution witness in Mr. Hux’s upcoming trial, correct?”

“Yeah.”

And lastly, a Jumin Han/MC fic I am not sure I will ever finish

You hold the phone in your hand gingerly, like a bomb. A  gun. A weapon ready to go off at any moment. It’s a sleek thing, the newest iPhone. The kind of luxury a college student could never afford. Rose gold colored steel on the back glints in the sunlight, as you turn it over in your hands and inspect it. The glass screen of the front is cracked, the long spindly fracture lines like a spider’s web from where the phone made impact. Still, the phone’s innards are safely cased and it has enough juice to turn on.

You pull the trigger, press your thumb into the divot on the front gently. The lock screen ends up being generic, no indication of owner. No cheery kids smiling. No perfectly angled selfie. Just blue bubbles floating in and out of focus like errant thoughts.

Almost all of my friends have already been tagged by other friends, but there might be a few who have not been. So I tag @femalespock and @teaguewrites, in case no one else has yet ;)

excerpt from metathesis (kylo/balem)

For @every-day-is-star-wars-day, who is on the same space trash train to hell as I am crack!shipping Kylem. Yes, that’s the consummate space fuckboy duo, Kylo Ren and Balem Abrasax getting it on. This started as a PWP I thought I could fill pretty fast and then grew a plot??? What are those. Why?? Whups. These two don’t even deserve this omg. But Lani does! <3 It will be finished one day, I promise! This is just a sneak peek!

The fresher is equally as extravagant of an affair as the rest of the alcazar. The same black marble fills the walls and floors, shot with veins of gold. Large basins run hot or cold water at the touch of a button. Tubs with gold taps, constant flowing streams of steaming water. Rows of fragrant soaps and scented oils catalogued and on display for browsing.

Both his body and mind are buzzing from orgasm, from the dissonance of the Force with the cells in his body that have been healed in a way countercurrent to it. The feeling feels wrong, like the first time he tapped into the dark side of the Force.

Wrong, but deliciously good.

He catches his face in the floor to ceiling mirrors, tawny eyes hooded and glittering in the low lights, dark hair slicked back wet with the foul odor of Regenex lingering in it. He almost drops the bottle of soap he’s sniffing when he sees not the scarred visage of Kylo Ren he’s created over the years, but the boyish face of Ben Solo peering back at him.

He pokes his face with a finger, flattens his cheeks with large palms, inspects his too-large nose. Pushing, pulling and prodding skin that still has the same moles and spattering of beauty marks he remembers always being there, but different in texture. He scrubs his hands over his face trying to memorize this new-yet-old face, finally leaning back satisfied it isn’t some kind of illusion.

Balem is behind him in the entryway. Unabashedly nude, purple marks blossoming like the petals of a flower on his uncovered neck and chest. Dripping a trail of Regenex on the tiled floor, he walks past ghosting his fingers along Kylo’s wide, now unscarred back. A small smile begins to creep into the curve of his lips as he takes in Kylo’s wonder at his own reflection.

“Consider my offer,” Balem says, meeting Kylo’s eyes in the mirror before sliding into one of the stone tubs bubbling with hot water and scented oil. He crooks a finger, beckoning Kylo to join him. “Though I have all the time in the world, you do not.”

*prays to the old gods and the new*

@ms-qualia give us the slightly kylux spaghetti western fandom deserves.

today i learned

@ms-qualia and i would pull exactly 0 punches if we wrote a fic together, and that makes me inordinately happy if it ever happens.

watch over your characters, we are coming to get them one day...