i love the detail of all the other blackwing subjects calling dirk “dirk” even though they never knew him by that name. even though logically they wouldn’t even know that name! mona, who hasn’t even been human in years and francis, who’s been in a coma, both automatically refer to him as dirk. the rowdies have known (well, define “known”) dirk outside of blackwing too but they don’t even know his name is dirk until season 1 but they still don’t refer to him as svlad or icarus, which is probably what they knew him as in blackwing, if they knew what to call him at all. they still only refer to him by descriptive phrases. the only ones who refer to dirk as svlad or icarus are the staff of blackwing, who actually have the up to date information about who he is and what he’s doing written down in files.
so is the panic pete a panic pete or is the panic pete mona? does dirk have a panic pete or is he in lockdown with mona who still chooses to be an inanimate object and simply watch dirk’s descent into chaos with his houses of cards and beekeeper fantasies?
If you're in the mood, could you write something about them all helping out Dirk and Mona when they're having PTSD issues about Blackwing? x
i’m not sure who “them all” refers to exactly, but the people i could surround them with most organically are todd, farah and amanda.
also in case y’all pay attention to this kinda thing: i sort of tried to take into account how blackwing treated the different subjects. like for instance, here mona bounces back a little faster than dirk, not only because she’s used to morphing into the most comfortable thing which i feel like would include “playing” someone who is ok even when she’s not, but also because her power is one that could be used against blackwing in a concrete way, so it’s likely that blackwing couldn’t put their hands on her the same way they could dirk. you know what i mean? anyway, i’m no expert but i tired to keep those dynamics in mind while i wrote this.
hope this is okay!
~
“Really, guys, you can come hang out in the office too, it’s no problem.” Farah said to the Rowdies currently filing into their van.
“No thank you, ninja girl.” Replied Martin. “We got stuff to do. And we ain’t exactly the sittin’ in offices type. We’ll be back to pick up drummer later.”
“Just honk when you get back.” Amanda said, already halfway through the door to the detective agency.
“Gotcha.” Martin confirmed. “Nice to see ya ninja girl. And Gently and shorty too I guess.”
Dirk waved excitedly at the Rowdies loudly whooping as they drove off, meanwhile Todd groaned.
“Could do without that nickname.” Todd mumbled.
“He has a point.” Quipped Amanda.
“Hey, I’m taller than you.” Todd argued.
Dirk and Farah shared an amused look as they followed the bickering siblings into the agency.
“So, how’s everything been? Any near death experiences this week?” Amanda asked as she jumped up to sit on Farah’s desk. “It has been, what, two months since I last saw you. Knowing you people it has not been a chill two months.”
Todd laughed. “You could say that.” He replied as he sat down on the couch next to Dirk.
Dirk frowned. “It has not been that bad.”
“It could have been worse, sure.” Added Farah from her seat at her desk behind Amanda.
“Oh you two are entirely too pessimistic.” Huffed Dirk.
“I agree.” Said a fifth voice.
Amanda and Todd jumped as Dirk and Farah simply turned to greet Mona, who was now standing in one of the corners of the office.
“Mona... We talked about not sneaking up on us, remember?” Todd said, still recovering from the shock.
“Yes, I remember, but I’ve noticed that it’s hard to not sneak up on normal people when you go from an object to a person.” Mona reasoned.
“She has a point.” Said Farah.
“The panic Pete?” Asked Dirk.
Mona smiled and nodded.
“Hey Mona.” Amanda said with a relaxed wave.
“Hello Amanda.” Mona replied. “I wanted to say hello to you, so I became a person.” She said as she made her way to stand next to Amanda.
Amanda smiled. “I’m honored.” She said.
“So, what about you? Do I want to know how many near death experiences you’ve had in the last two months?” Todd asked his sister.
Amanda laughed. “Probably not.” She said. “Well, if you count the time Vogel ate a-“
Amanda was caught off by the lights suddenly going off with a crackling of the overhead lamps. The office quickly became pitch black.
“Oh come on! I just spoke to the electricity people!” Farah groaned as she carefully made her way to open some curtains.
“Maybe we just blew a fuse.” Todd mused. “Someone should check.”
“By someone you mean me, right?” Farah asked.
“I can check...” Todd murmured.
Before they could decide who should venture into the darkness, the lights came right back on.
“Well that solves that problem.” Amanda said.
But Todd wasn’t focusing on her or the lights anymore. “Dirk?” He asked carefully, having noticed his friend’s absence next to him on the couch.
Dirk was hunched on the floor, his arms around a teddy bear. Mona. Dirk’s eyes were closed and he was repeating something over and over again in a whisper.
“Dirk? What’s wrong?” Farah asked and took a step towards her friends on the floor.
“Wait!” Todd said and held up a hand. “Don’t go too close, don’t touch them.” He said.
“No?” Farah asked, unsure.
“No, it might scare them more.” Todd explained. “Dirk gets jumpy when he’s... Like this.”
“What scared them in the first place?” Farah asked.
“I don’t know-“
“Oh fuck.” Amanda said. “The lights.”
“What?” Asked Todd and Farah at the same time.
“The lights. They used to- In Blackwing, they turned off all the lights at once at the same time every night no matter what you were doing and it basically meant they couldn’t do anything anymore. Like if they got the attention of the night guards at all it was... Not good. Either you laid down quietly or some asshole emerged from the darkness like a fucking boogeyman to punish you for disrupting the peace.” Amanda explained.
“Oh shit.” Todd sighed.
“Yeah. When it’s dark is about the only time the Rowdies are quiet. Like, creepy quiet. It’s unsettling as hell.” Amanda said.
“But makes sense. Trauma is... A powerful force.” Said Farah.
“Dirk?” Said Todd again, trying to get his friend’s attention. “It’s okay, Dirk, we’re at the agency.”
Todd took a hesitant step closer to Dirk and Mona. He listened for a response, but none came. Now he could finally tell what Dirk was saying though.
“It will be okay, just stay quiet. It will be okay, just stay quiet. It will be okay, just stay-“
Todd closed his eyes for a moment before he turned to look at Amanda and Farah. Farah looked heartbroken. Amanda looked like she wanted to punch something - or someone.
“Dirk?” Todd asked carefully, trying to keep his own emotions out of his voice.
Now Dirk stopped his chanting. “Todd?” He asked, without opening his tightly closed eyes.
“Yeah. I’m here.” Todd assured.
“Where?” Dirk asked.
“Right h- Oh. The agency. Our office. With Amanda and Farah.” Todd replied, realizing that Dirk needed to be reassured that he wasn’t where the disappearing lights had momentarily taken him.
Finally Dirk opened his eyes and turned to look at his friends. There were slight tear tracks on his cheeks.
“It- It’s alright, Mona. We’re... Here. Not there.” Dirk quietly reassured his friend, even though he was still only coming to recognize his surroundings.
“I’m gonna get you guys some water. Water helps, right?” Farah asked. “Or... Tea?”
“Tea.” Dirk repeated, more for the purpose of fully understanding what was being said to him rather than to give an answer, but Farah took it and ran with it.
“Tea, coming up.” Farah said and speed-walked to the little kitchen right next to their office space.
“You okay?” Todd asked Dirk.
“Yes. Fine.” Dirk replied, still dazed. Suddenly he had his arms full of a very human Mona.
“We’re at the office, aren’t we?” Mona asked Dirk, her voice muffled by the way she was pressing her face into Dirk’s shirt.
“It would appear so.” Dirk replied.
“It’s day time.” Mona added, having now moved her head from Dirk’s chest just enough to look at the windows.
“Day time.” Dirk repeated.
Suddenly Mona jumped up from Dirk’s arms and extended hers down to Dirk. Slowly Dirk grabbed a hold of them and manouvered himself up from the floor.
“I got scared.” Mona said matter of factly.
“As... Did I.” Dirk said.
“That was... Unpleasant.” Mona sighed. “Except for the hug. That was nice.”
Dirk still looked a little shaky on his feet. “Nice...” He repeated.
“Sorry about that.” Said Mona to the other occupants of the room. “We get scared sometimes.”
Amanda walked up to Mona and put a hand on her shoulder. “It’s okay, dude. Everybody does. And the lights fuck with the Rowdies too.” She said.
Mona nodded understandingly. “They were there.” She said.
“Yeah.” Amanda said.
Farah arrived with two cups of tea on a small tray. “Tea- There’s tea.” She said.
Mona grabbed a cup right away. “Thank you, Farah.” She said and sipped at her tea as she made her way back to Amanda.
Amanda felt the need to check on Dirk as well, but decided to stay with Mona, as her brother seemed to know how to help Dirk.
Todd took a few steps to close the remaining distance between him and Dirk. He reached out his hand towards Dirk’s. “Can I?” He asked.
Dirk turned to look at Todd before letting his eyes fall on their hands. “Oh. Yes.”
Todd grabbed Dirk’s left hand and placed it over his heart, knowing that feeling his heartbeat would help Dirk make sense of what was real.
“Hey.” Said Todd.
Dirk swallowed. “Hello.” He said in a breathy voice.
“You okay?” Todd asked.
“Yes.” Dirk replied immediately. Todd waited for a beat. Dirk sighed. “Not yet.”
Todd nodded. “That’s okay. You will be. Tea?”
Dirk nodded in turn. “Yes, tea.”
Like summoned, Farah was next to them with the tray. Dirk grabbed the remaining cup with his free hand. “Thank you.” He said.
“‘Course.” Farah said and smiled softly.
Dirk looked around the office to locate Mona on the couch next to Amanda. She was talking and Amanda was listening very intently, but the conversation topic didn’t seem very heavy.
“Mona’s not alright yet either, she’s just... Good at hiding it.” Dirk told Todd.
Todd nodded. “Yeah, I figured. Amanda knows about... Amanda’s with her. We’re all here for the both of you.” Todd assured.
Dirk turned to look at him. “I know. Thank you.”
Todd blushed slightly. “Always.”
“Is there anything more I could do?” Farah asked.
Dirk shook his head and finally moved his hand from where it was splayed against Todd’s chest. “No, Farah, you don’t need to do anything. Thank you.”
Mona nodded in agreement. “Yes, though you do make lovely tea.” She said. She really enjoyed tea, which the others assumed was a habit she picked up from Dirk.
Farah nodded too. “Okay. Just... Let me know. If there’s anything I can do, I want to do it.”
Dirk sat down to drink his tea and Todd followed. He reached out to comb some of Dirk’s hair back from his face and hoped to convey his support that way. Dirk seemed to appreciate the gesture.
Slowly they started to ease back into their earlier calm and happy mood. Amanda kept close to Mona, just to make sure, but didn’t push her to talk, as she seemed to be handling the unexpected bout of panic in her own way. Living with the Rowdies had made Amanda quite used to moments of trauma creeping into the every day but also to people preferring to handle it in their own way. She simply wanted to be there to make sure it all worked.
Farah, in her typical way, kept her physical distance but every now and then she would offer to get Dirk and Mona something or ask if it was too cold or too hot. She would shut the blinds when the sun would hit one of their eyes and offer to run their empty tea cups to the kitchen for washing. She didn’t quite know how to do the verbally or physically comforting thing, but if there was anything Farah Black could do - apart from kick ass with any given weapon or technique - it was taking care of those who needed help.
Todd in turn stayed close to Dirk and kept watching him carefully. He’d learn to pick up on the subtle signs of discomfort in Dirk, so he was making sure he didn’t miss any. Dirk of course could see right through Todd and eventually he took the initiative to smile encouragingly at Todd and tell him he felt fine now. Todd insisted that he knew that, but only when Dirk let him hold his hand to ground them both, Todd could tell Dirk felt mostly calm and was able to feel a little more at ease himself.
Later in the evening Dirk insisted on making his own tea (even though it took a few minutes of convincing Farah she didn’t need to do it for him) and left the room to complete his task. When Mona stood up to go after him, the three left in the room all shared a look, but silently decided it was best to give the two a moment alone.
“They really want to make sure we are okay, don’t they?” Mona asked Dirk in the kitchen.
“Yes, they do.” Dirk agreed.
“I was sure Farah would have run out of things to do for us a long time ago.” Mona huffed.
Dirk laughed. “Farah Black does not run out of things to do.” He said.
Mona smiled softly. “They really care about us, don’t they?” She asked. Her voice conveyed just how heavy the question actually was.
Dirk smiled back at her. “They sure seem to.”
“That’s nice.” Mona whispered.
“Yes, it is.” Dirk agreed.
“I don’t remember the last time someone other than you...” Mona trailed off.
“You know, I don’t either.” Dirk said. “Not before the Spring case.”
Mona grinned. “Looks like the universe thought it was finally time for us to get to have other people too.”
Dirk shook his head. “I like to think the universe doesn’t get the credit for this one.”
Mona nodded thoughtfully. “I like that.”
Dirk handed a cup of tea to Mona. “Well, let’s get back there. I’m not sure how much longer those three can keep themselves from coming to check on us.” He said.
Mona laughed lightly. “I think you’re right. Let’s go back to our other people.”
And surely enough, when Dirk and Mona got back, Farah was already at the door on her way to them. And once they sat back down Amanda scooted just a little bit closer to Mona and Todd refused to let go of Dirk’s hand.
While Amanda was telling another story about her adventures with the Rowdies, Mona turned to look at Dirk. They shared a knowing smile before turning their attention back to their friend.
Dirk and Mona always had each other, but sometimes it was nice to know they had other people as well.
~
if you have any ideas for a fic, send me a prompt! my inbox is always open! xx
If you feel like writing something small with Dirk and mona, maybe talking about Todd?? I would be so happy :D
a fun idea! I’m not sure if you meant platonic or romantic talk of todd, but I went with the romantic kind.also: I’ve never written mona before & in this context it’s hard to focus on her character specifically so I hope this isn’t too random for her.
~
After a few minutes of Dirk trying convince Todd he couldn’t leave the agency before finding a paper he’d misplaced, but that he would be fine and the exhausted Todd should just go home to rest, Todd sighed and finally bid Dirk goodnight.Dirk waved at Todd until he disappeared behind the corner. Then Dirk went back to looking for the small piece of paper, essential for what the universe had in store for him next.That is until he was interrupted by a soft voice.“Why didn’t you go home with your husband?” Came the voice somewhere behind Dirk.“Bloody hell, Mona!” Dirk squealed and turned around to see Mona standing closely behind him, which she had not been a second ago.Mona looked confused.“I didn’t know you were here too.” Dirk said more calmly.Mona smiled. “I was your jacket again.” She replied.Dirk looked at his desk, where he had left the jacket and indeed, it was not there anymore.“Oh. Would you mind turning into it again once I leave the office? It’s a bit chilly.” Dirk replied.“Sure.” Mona smiled sweetly. “So, why are you still here and not home with your husband?” She then asked.Dirk sighed. “I seem to have misplaced an important- Wait. Husband?” He suddenly realized what Mona had said.“The small man.” Mona clarified.“I- Todd? He’s not- Why do you think he’s my husband?” Dirk mumbled.Mona shrugged. “Married couples live together and share a life together, don’t they? My parents did.” She replied matter-of-factly.Dirk blushed. “Well, yes, of course, but that’s not… That’s not what we are, though.” He assured Mona.Mona furrowed her brow in confusion. “Then what are you?”Dirk shifted his weight on his feet awkwardly. “We’re friends. Co-workers. Roommates?” He tried to explain.“Why?” Mona asked.“Why?” Dirk echoed.“Yes. Why are you not married even though you act like you are?” Mona clarified. Dirk looked down at his feet shyly. “Because… We’re friends. Friends don’t just… Get married. They’d need to, you know… Love each other.” He almost whispered.Mona frowned. “You don’t love the small man?”“Of course I do!” Dirk replied quickly. Too quickly. “I mean-““Then why?” Mona asked, not even slightly taken aback with Dirk’s confession.“It has to be mutual love, Mona.” Dirk sighed.“The small man doesn’t love you?” Mona asked, her expression almost shocked, like she couldn’t understand why someone would not love Dirk.“Todd. And he’s my friend. That’s all. Friends don’t love their friends that way.” Dirk explained.Mona blinked and thought for a moment. “But you love your friend that way.” She stated eventually, trying to understand Dirk’s stand.Dirk froze. She was right, of course, but how could he explain to her that Todd was different?“Well, yes, but that’s… Unusual. Todd doesn’t feel the same way.” He finally said.“How do you know?” Mona asked.Dirk loved Mona, he really did, but he would’ve rather been talking about anything else.“He’s just… Never expressed otherwise.” He settled on saying.“Have you?” Mona asked.She got him there.“No, I suppose I have not.” Dirk laughed awkwardly.“So you can’t know for sure?” Mona asked. Even though she meant it as a genuine question, no doubt lacking much experience in relationships and communication herself, the phrase ignited a spark of hope in Dirk.“I suppose not.” He replied quietly.Mona grinned. “He loves you.” She simply said.Dirk looked up at her. “Mona, you don’t know that.” He said firmly.Mona’s grin never faltered. “He loves you.” She said again. And before Dirk could argue, Mona was gone and Dirk’s yellow leather jacket was laying on the office floor.“That’s an unfair way to ensure the last word.” Dirk mumbled and turned away.Dirk stared at the framed picture of him, Todd and Farah on his desk, taken at the opening of the agency. Dirk had convinced himself that his infatuation with Todd was inconvenient and not reciprocated, but Mona’s optimism, despite his better judgement, had given him hope.Maybe it was time to do a little experiment. Just to be sure.Dirk picked up Mona in her jacket form from the floor and put her around his shoulders before walking out the door of the agency and towards his apartment, where Todd awaited.The misplaced paper had been forgotten for now, but it would turn up soon, discovered by Mona, and it would lead them on a wild adventure that would eventually bring Dirk and Todd together.
~
if you have any ideas for fics, send me prompts! I’d be holy to write them. my inbox is always open! xx
For a while, running the detective agency is all he needs. Dirk sees his name on the wall every day and can’t help but smile. Despite all, he had done it. He made his dream happen. With the help of his friends, also part of the dream.
Dirk had a very specific view on what the agency should be like. The only factor out of his control, is the new decorative item on the desk, floor, wall or ceiling and so on every now and then. Dirk and Todd go on about their day, not paying too much attention to it, not wanting to make her uncomfortable; but every day, while leaving the office, Dirk whispers a soft ‘goodnight, Mona’ before walking out.
Farah insists on being a sponsor, a quiet partner, but still, every time there is a case that requires some action hero-like situations, she’s there. Eventually she stops by the agency more regularly. For the longest time, neither Dirk nor Todd say anything, they just give each other knowing looks when Farah gets involved in a case. The most calm and content Farah feels is while working with Dirk and Todd. It provides her with a distraction from the uneasiness she might be feeling otherwise and Dirk and Todd were the only people around whom she truly felt like she belonged.
Todd freaks out when he one day realizes that he’s actually, almost, kind of happy? He hasn’t felt that cloud of dread that used to always hang over his head. Somewhere along the way, during all the craziness that the agency brings forth, Todd forgets to feel disappointed in himself. Helping others takes up most of his time and he no longer spends hours wrapped up in self-hatred. Seeing the people their work helps warms Todd’s heart. Seeing Dirk as happy as he is now, in contrast to during the Cardenas case, makes all the stress worth it.
Pararibulitis still taunts Todd, but Wendimoor had helped him cope with it a little. There was no turning attacks into energy-like magic in Seattle, but some of the mindset he’d learned remained. Todd doesn’t see pararibulitis as a punishment anymore, just the universe’s terrible idea of irony and he learns to deal with it. And there’s Dirk, who would drop everything - once he quite literally dropped a mug full of tea - to help Todd. And Amanda helps as well. Todd’s heart aches, in the best possible way, every time his sister willingly contacts him. He finally feels like he’s got his little sister back.
Amanda wouldn’t forget. What Todd did would always hurt and it had changed her world-view drastically. But she loved her brother. She was willing to learn to love this different version of her brother too. Amanda makes sure to take time to call Todd from on the road and even visit. Visiting Todd - and Dirk by extension - always means getting wrapped up in some craziness. Then again, it’s just a different kind of crazy than her life with the Rowdies. She asks Todd about his pararibulitis. She no longer sufferes like she had before. There are still attacks, they come on and she can feel the terror set in her soul but the boys are always there to take the terror away.
The Rowdy 3 reek havoc wherever they go; they get weird looks and are yelled at, but it’s exactly the way they like it.
Todd actually asks if Dirk would like to move in with him. The agency doesn’t provide the most impressive of incomes and Dirk spends most of his time hanging around Todd’s apartment anyway. Dirk doesn’t even attempt to hide his excitement over Todd’s suggstion of changinf their living arrangement. Dirk drags his collection of leather jackets over to Todd’s apartment the very next morning.
Dirk is happy. Really, truly happy for the first time in his life, but in the back of his mind, there is fear. Blackwing is still out there. They had already gotten to Dirk not once, but twice, it is only a matter of time he’d have to deal with them again. One day, Dirk takes up the topic of Blackwing with Todd and Farah, who immediately agree to look into what they can do to be prepared. Farah works the government websites and Todd calls The Rowdy 3. Not long after, they learn about the new administration in Blackwing. And Bart.
The thought of Bart alone in Blackwing, held hostage by her former friend won’t leave Dirk alone. Todd picks up on Dirk’s mood and together they decide to do something about it. Todd asks Dirk if he’s alright with getting involved with Blackwing again, many times, and Dirk insists that he is. A few panic attacks aside, which Todd helps Dirk through, Dirk is more determined than afraid.
Everyone is exhausted by the end of the mission; there are injuries, even deaths and Dirk is a mess, but most importantly... Blackwing is done for. It’s over. Ken is in a military prison himself, along with the other staff involved and Bart is free.
Bart is still convinced that there isn’t a place for her outside of Blackwing, but a heartfelt speech from Dirk helps her see things differently. Dirk used to think like she does. He felt like he deserved to be locked up and there was nothing else for him. But things had changed. And they could for Bart, too.
Bart takes off, determined to find a life fitting for her, like Dirk has. Dirk convinces her to call him every now and then, telling her he wants to be sure she’s okay. Bart asks if Dirk is still scared of her. Dirk tells her he is. Bart laughs and punches Dirk on the arm. Dirk laughs as well.
Dirk feels at ease. He can still feel the stream of creation, he still sees himself as just a small leaf within the vast universe. But for the first time in his life... It is not an unsettling feeling. He knows Blackwing won’t be a problem anymore, outside of his occasional nightmares. He knows that whatever happens, he has people to help him through it. He finally understands that he deserves to be happy.
Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency continues to work hard to help people. And the first people it ever helped were its employees.
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