protect icarus

Dirk walks in, huffing and puffing while trying to balance a large fish tank in his hands, the top of his head barely visible from behind the tank, trying hard not spill the contents of it all over the hallway.

Farah looks up from the newspaper she’s been reading. “Woah, Dirk, what is that?” She asks, worriedly.

“Oh! How nice of you to ask!” Dirk exclaims and goes to place the tank on the kitchen table. Farah quickly steps in to help, since some of the water from the tank has already spilled on the table and floor, including one fish.

“See, there was a case-“ Dirk begins and picks up the wayward fish from the table and carefully drops it back in the water.

“Of course…” Farah sighs. “Look, Dirk, do you know anything about fish? Some of these look… Not the type you get by walking into a pet store.” She goes on.

“Oh I know nothing about fish!” Dirk replies. “Except that I love these fishies!”

Farah rubs her temples and sighs. Then she goes to open google on her phone to search the fish currently sitting in a tank on the kitchen table. Just as she’s discovered that one of the fish is indeed illegal to have as a pet in the United States, Dirk starts feeding the fish bread crumbs.

“Dirk, don’t feed them bread.” Farah says. “And listen, I’m gonna need a little bit more information on where these fish came from exactly.” She adds.

Before Dirk can answer, Todd walks in. “Todd! Welcome home!” Dirk grins and waves.

Farah points to the tank. “Dirk got illegal fish from somewhere and they live here now.” She says and raises her eyebrows, hoping Todd will help her talk some sense into Dirk.

Todd stares at Farah, then he shifts his glance towards he fish tank, and finally to Dirk. He takes a deep breath. “Seems about right.” He finally says, turns around and walks back out the door he came from.

smooches coming your way!

(this is a bit sillier, fluffier, happy-go-lucky brotzly than my usual stuff. which is nice to try my hand at once in a while!)

~

Todd looked around the very seedy club. The place was filled with older men who looked like they had been drunk since 10am, couples making out against whatever surfaces available, broken glass, a bachelor party and some woman crying at the counter.A few years ago, this would’ve probably been Todd’s scene, more or less. Now though, he felt very out of place.“Dirk, are you sure this is where we’re supposed to be?” He asked the detective currently bouncing slightly to the beat of the music.“Todd, am I ever sure of anything? No. But, the universe takes me where I need to be. I have a hunch about this place.” Dirk replied.“Yeah, me too. I have a hunch they do some illegal businesses here.” Todd mumbled.“Oh, lighten up, Todd! I’m sure whatever we’re here for will make itself kno- oh my god!” Dirk suddenly squealed and pointed towards the door of the establishment.Todd turned around to see the thugs they’d barely escaped from only hours before walking in.“Shit! What the hell do we do?” Todd exclaimed.“Well, it was quite a heated fight and we’re wearing different clothes, maybe they won’t recognize us?” Dirk suggested.Todd stared at him dumbfounded. “Are you kidding me!?”“Alright, alright, we should do something.” Dirk agreed. Todd waited for a plan, but Dirk remained quiet.Todd snuck a glance at the door. The men weren’t there anymore. He did a quick scan of the place and finally found the men, heading towards the counter, which they’d have to pass Todd and Dirk to get to.“Shit shit shit shit.” Todd chanted.“This is quite a pickle, isn’t it.” Dirk said.“Oh god. Okay, we just have to blend in. Not stand out. Act natural.” Todd instructed.Dirk placed his hands on his hips in what he must’ve seen as a casual gesture but really looked like he was doing the Superman pose, and looked at the ceiling.“How is that natural!?” Todd exclaimed.“I- I panicked!” Was Dirk’s reply.Todd looked out for the men and saw they’d moved closer, past the couple kissing and groping in the corner.And Todd got an idea. Most likely a terrible, terrible idea, but it was all they got.“Kiss me.” He told Dirk.Dirk looked like he’d seen a ghost. “What?”“We need to blend in and they won’t see our faces. Kiss me.” Todd explained.Dirk seemed frozen in place but Todd hadn’t heard a ‘no’ so he took a step closer to Dirk, trapping him between the wall behind him and Todd’s body.He took a shaky breath and then stood on his toes and grabbed Dirk’s horrified looking face.And then he kissed Dirk.For a moment, it was weird. Did he just seriously kiss Dirk to avoid bad guys from beating them up again? What is his life?But then Dirk kissed him back.Oh.Dirk’s lips were surprisingly soft. His kiss was careful, hesitant. Todd pressed himself even closer to Dirk, putting more pressure into the kiss.Dirk’s hands, which had been glued to his sides a few seconds ago, came to rest on Todd’s hips and Todd forgot all about the creepy bad guys and the gross nightclub.The height difference had forced Todd to stand on his toes and crane his neck up, but now Dirk was leaning down as they kissed, making it more comfortable for Todd.They were kissing.Todd was currently kissing Dirk.Scratch that, Todd was currently pretty much making out with Dirk.At some point, Todd’s hands had moved from either side of Dirk’s face and into his hair. He had really soft hair?And somehow, tongues had gotten involved.Dirk tasted like something very familiar yet Todd couldn’t put his finger on what it was. To be fair, he was quite distracted at the moment.How had they never done this before? Sure Todd had thought about it, but immediately caught himself and locked that thought away. Right now, he could not remember why.Dirk let out a content sigh into their kiss and Todd felt the need to look at him.Then he remembered where they were.Right. Public place. Case.Todd pulled away, leaving Dirk panting, leaning against the wall.“Have they gone?” Todd asked, unwilling to turn away from Dirk.“Who?” Dirk asked. Todd gave him an amused look. “Oh! Yes, yes they seem to be… gone.” Dirk replied and a bright blush crept up on his face.“Okay. Good.” Todd responded with an awkward smile. “Now what? Do we go after them? See what they’re up to? They must be why we’re here, right?” He asked and dragged his fingers through his hair.“Right. Or…” Dirk responded but left the sentence hanging.“Or?” Todd asked.“Or maybe they aren’t why we’re here.” Dirk suggested.“What else could it be?” Todd asked, confused.“Oh I don’t know, there’s a lot of interesting things going on here.” Dirk replied with a shy smile and an even heavier blush than before.Todd furrowed his brows, not understanding what could be more important than the men actually a part of the case.Then he understood Dirk’s shy but suggestive expression.“Oh, you sneaky little shit.” He laughed. “Did you bring me here to make out with you?”“No! I told you I don’t know why we had to be here, it was a hunch!” Dirk defended himself.“Aha.” Todd replied with a teasing smile on his face.“It was!” Dirk exclaimed and then looked down at his feet. “Maybe the universe wanted me here to-““Make out?” Todd interrupted.“For the love of God, stop saying ‘make out!’” Dirk hissed, obviously embarrassed.Todd closed the small distance between them and played with the collar of Dirk’s shirt.“Well, we wouldn’t want to defy the will of the universe, would we?” He asked in his best flirty voice.Dirk swallowed. “I should think not. Even though I-“Todd cut him off with a kiss.

~

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