@prokopetz / prokopetz.tumblr.com
Finally creating a pinned post of my games. I’ve included all titles I’ve been involved with in some capacity, not just ones where I’m the author; when I’m not the author, I’ll note my role in (parentheses).
This post will be updated over time to reflect changes in the status of these projects, so if you’re looking at a reblog, feel free to click through to the original and see if it differs.
Last updated: 2024-01-28
The real reason I haven't yet submitted my own entry to the 200 word RPG thing is because every idea I've come up with really, really wants more big stupid dice tables than you could reasonably fit into two hundred words. Heck, one candidate I was tinkering with ended up having a single table that was more than 200 words long.
I think I might have a problem.
While the Onion buying InfoWars is indeed extremely funny, very few of the posts I've seen commenting on the sale have mentioned that the families of the Sandy Hook victims apparently agreed to voluntarily reduce their lawsuit payout as part of a deal to ensure that the Onion would acquire InfoWars wholesale, rather than having the company broken up and auctioned off piecemeal, as the latter course could potentially have allowed some of those pieces to end up back in the hands of Alex Jones' cronies.
Like, yes, it is in fact very funny that InfoWars is now a wholly owned subsidiary of the Onion, but the real props go out to the Sandy Hook families who saw the opportunity and willingly gave up the additional millions of dollars that could have been realised by stripping InfoWars for parts in order to make that happen.
(EDIT: Fixed a sentence incorrectly suggesting that Clickhole is still affiliated with the Onion – it totally slipped my mind that they'd sold it back in 2020.)
Each November, some people try to write a novel. Others would prefer to do as little writing as possible. For those who wish to challenge their ability to not write, we offer this alternative: producing a complete, playable roleplaying game in two hundred words or fewer.
This is the submission thread for the 2024 event, running from November 1st, 2024 through November 30th, 2024. Submission guidelines can be found in this blog's pinned post, here.
I've long been a proponent of big stupid dice tables, but I think this might actually be the first short-form RPG I've ever seen where the entire game is one big table.
hey what the fuck
Given how often I have to deal with media-illiterate dipsticks rocking up on my posts insisting that common fantasy tropes are Discworld references, I thought it would be fun to include a single legitimate Discworld reference somewhere they'd never think to look.
Today's aesthetic: seeing some random blogger describing what you thought was a common thing in terms of some sort of Syndrome and asking yourself, okay, is this person inappropriately pathologising an everyday human experience, or do I also have The Syndrome?
lying (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 36 years ago
lying (undershooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 7 years ago
lying by a ridiculous amount (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 900 years ago
lying by a ridiculous amount (undershooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 15 minutes ago
real date of event no one reading was alive for: feel old yet? the great san francisco earthquake happened 118 years ago
real date of event no one reading was alive for or cares about: feel old yet? prince frederick henry died 395 years ago
event no one reading was alive for and also lying: feel old yet? the great san francisco earthquake happened 4 years ago
event that did not happen: feel old yet? brian mulroney was assassinated 48 years ago
event that did not happen and even if it did this would be a lie: feel old yet? brian mulroney was assassinated 197 years ago
real date of event on a cosmological scale: feel old yet? the sun was formed 4,600,000,000 years ago
lying on a cosmological scale (undershooting): feel old yet? the sun was formed 12 years ago
lying on a cosmological scale (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 12,000,000,000 years ago
real date of a personal anecdote that only you know or card about: feel old yet? i made a really good stir fry 5 years ago
reversal: feel young yet? frozen 3 is coming out in 3 years
reversal on a cosmological scale: feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 8,000,000,000 years
reversal (lying about event): feel young yet? the first episode of spongebob will air in 3 years
reversal (lying about time, overshooting): feel young yet? frozen 3 is coming out in 8,000,000,000 years
reversal (lying about time, undershooting): feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 3 years
reversal (lying about time, really undershooting): feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 12 minutes
real date of a recurring event that wasn't very long ago: feel old yet? halloween was 13 days ago
lying about recurring event: feel old yet? halloween was 10,000 years ago
reversal of recurring event: feel young yet? thursday is tomorrow
reversal of personal anecdote: feel young yet? my laundry is done in 52 minutes
real(?) date of a nonspecific event: feel old yet? something happened 2 years ago
lying about the reader (undershooting): feel old yet? you were born 5 years ago
lying about the reader (overshooting): feel old yet? you were born 650 years ago
making a reasonable guess about the reader: feel old yet? you were born 22 years ago
technically telling the truth about the reader: feel old yet? you were born between 0 and 120 years ago
threatening the reader: feel young yet? you will die in 7 days
non sequitur: feel old yet? half of all chameleon species on earth live in madagascar
non sequitur (lying): feel old yet? chameleons are immune to fire
lying on several levels: feel old yet? chameleons were invented 36 years ago
self-reference: feel old yet? i started writing this post 40 minutes ago
giving up: feel old yyet?th e emmenkr,tn dbw a 8 gn m hk\
i can't finish the joke someone else come up with a punchline: feel old yet?
declarative statement: you feel old.
subversive declarative statement: time isn't even real.
reference another meme: feel old yet? yeah. this is the beach that makes you old.
reference another meme specifically about injecting non sequiturs into long posts: feel old yet? the glue that lets you walk up and down anything was invented 36 years ago
Everybody thinks my neighbour is doing some sort of Nightmare Before Christmas thing every year, but really they just don't feel like doing two separate front yard displays for Hallowe'en and Christmas, so come November 1st they stick a Santa hat on the skeleton and call it a day.
I sometimes wonder how often archaeologists trying to make sense of the traces of some ancient ritual end up completely wrong-footed because the only surviving example we have to work with was performed by somebody going "fuck it – good enough".
Everybody thinks my neighbour is doing some sort of Nightmare Before Christmas thing every year, but really they just don't feel like doing two separate front yard displays for Hallowe'en and Christmas, so come November 1st they stick a Santa hat on the skeleton and call it a day.
It always makes me wonder when I bump into a really serious Homestuck fan who's under the age of 25, because that means either you were reading it when you were eight years old, or you got into it when it was well past its peak and you're still Like This, and both options raise fascinating questions.
(If you're not sure what I mean by "a really serious Homestuck fan", then you're not. Trust me.)
It always makes me wonder when I bump into a really serious Homestuck fan who's under the age of 25, because that means either you were reading it when you were eight years old, or you got into it when it was well past its peak and you're still Like This, and both options raise fascinating questions.
Look, I may be into weird games that suck, but at least I can have reasonable confidence that keeping abreast of the canon storyline of my favourite series will not at any point require me to be aware of the plot of a pachinko machine.
My dream is to create a critically acclaimed series of pachinko machines that have an engaging storyline, then hide the narratives finale in a side scrolling beat em up
Look, I may be into weird games that suck, but at least I can have reasonable confidence that keeping abreast of the canon storyline of my favourite series will not at any point require me to be aware of the plot of a pachinko machine.
November, or, as anyone who follows artists of a certain stripe knows it, Anatomical Fanfiction Month.
I do not follow artists of a certain stripe. What happens in November?
In brief, the month of November is observed in some online communities as "No Nut November", in which participants challenge themselves to abstain from sexual activity of all kinds, including masturbation, for the full duration of the month.
The event is usually treated as a meme on the surface, but in practice, many of its actual participants are adherents of the pseudo-science of semen retention, which – they claim – brings about various beneficial transformations to the body and mind; as you may already have guessed, there's a great deal of overlap between semen retention true believers and the online alt-right.
While active participation in No Nut November is largely restricted to Reddit incels and other alt-right weirdos, the idea of No Nut November has been taken up by many artists whose work focuses on what might politely be described as "speculative biology". Though most of them have very little interest in the political dimension of No Nut November, the notion of protracted semen retention bringing about bodily transformations – typically paired with some degree of orgasm denial kink – appeals to them for what I trust are obvious reasons.
The upshot is that in certain circles, the month of November sees an outpouring of fanart playing with the idea of semen retention leading to bodily transformation (not always beneficially). The subject matter ranges from the anatomically implausible to the thermodynamically impossible, and hits every point in between.
This is so weird man, back when I was in high school the homies were always like "It's a challenge to see how long we can last without sex or jacking off" and it was kinda entirely there just to laugh at whoever failed first and give yourself something to pat yourself on the back for, just something to compete about. We even included girls and we all double-challenged with No Shave November (which the girls were always happier with bc they could skirt the societal expectation to shave all the time for a whole month and say "It's a thing my friends and I are challenging each other to do")!
It was just some dumb shit we did for kicks and to compete over fuck all back then, at what point did someone take that shit SO SERIOUSLY they had to go do pseudo-science around it?
It's the other way 'round, oddly enough. The semen retention truther movement is considerably older and larger than No Nut November, and eventually they just sort of moved in and took over in many online spaces. I'm given to understand that NoFap (both the Reddit community and the website) is a big part of how that happened, though I haven't looked deeply into the details. It's not terribly recent, in any case – criticisms that participation in No Nut November had been co-opted by the alt-right were circulating at least as early as 2018.
I for one prefer NNN's less well known cousin, No Poop November.
the rise of nofap can be mostly attributed to the 4chan board /r9k/, which also played a big part in growing the incel community. It was specifically the idea that semen retention would make you more attractive because hormones and pheromones or whatever. The “fun game” side of it probably comes from people seeing memes about it and being unaware of its frankly insane origins
To the best of my knowledge, the neither 4chan nor the incel movement originated No Nut November – in fact, it slightly pre-dates both. I was around when the event was just getting started circa 2000, and as far as I'm aware, it began as a goofy meme inspired by an episode of Seinfeld; early No Nut November events (though it wasn't yet called that) even used George Costanza as a mascot for a while. It took about a decade for the semen retention weirdos to really start taking over.
(Of course, the plot of the Seinfeld episode in question bears a striking resemblance to a couple of specific claims made by semen retention pseudoscience, so this may be a case of inspiration at one remove!)
Each November, some people try to write a novel. Others would prefer to do as little writing as possible. For those who wish to challenge their ability to not write, we offer this alternative: producing a complete, playable roleplaying game in two hundred words or fewer.
This is the submission thread for the 2024 event, running from November 1st, 2024 through November 30th, 2024. Submission guidelines can be found in this blog's pinned post, here.
Collected entries for 2024-11-13:
Previous summaries: 2024-11-01, 2024-11-02, 2024-11-03, 2024-11-04, 2024-11-05, 2024-11-06, 2024-11-07, 2024-11-08, 2024-11-09/10, 2024-11-11/12
Another brisk day, bringing us to 108 entries in total. A couple of items on this list have received a lot of attention today; hopefully this will inspire at least few readers to toss their hats into the ring!
November, or, as anyone who follows artists of a certain stripe knows it, Anatomical Fanfiction Month.
I do not follow artists of a certain stripe. What happens in November?
In brief, the month of November is observed in some online communities as "No Nut November", in which participants challenge themselves to abstain from sexual activity of all kinds, including masturbation, for the full duration of the month.
The event is usually treated as a meme on the surface, but in practice, many of its actual participants are adherents of the pseudo-science of semen retention, which – they claim – brings about various beneficial transformations to the body and mind; as you may already have guessed, there's a great deal of overlap between semen retention true believers and the online alt-right.
While active participation in No Nut November is largely restricted to Reddit incels and other alt-right weirdos, the idea of No Nut November has been taken up by many artists whose work focuses on what might politely be described as "speculative biology". Though most of them have very little interest in the political dimension of No Nut November, the notion of protracted semen retention bringing about bodily transformations – typically paired with some degree of orgasm denial kink – appeals to them for what I trust are obvious reasons.
The upshot is that in certain circles, the month of November sees an outpouring of fanart playing with the idea of semen retention leading to bodily transformation (not always beneficially). The subject matter ranges from the anatomically implausible to the thermodynamically impossible, and hits every point in between.
This is so weird man, back when I was in high school the homies were always like "It's a challenge to see how long we can last without sex or jacking off" and it was kinda entirely there just to laugh at whoever failed first and give yourself something to pat yourself on the back for, just something to compete about. We even included girls and we all double-challenged with No Shave November (which the girls were always happier with bc they could skirt the societal expectation to shave all the time for a whole month and say "It's a thing my friends and I are challenging each other to do")!
It was just some dumb shit we did for kicks and to compete over fuck all back then, at what point did someone take that shit SO SERIOUSLY they had to go do pseudo-science around it?
It's the other way 'round, oddly enough. The semen retention truther movement is considerably older and larger than No Nut November, and eventually they just sort of moved in and took over in many online spaces. I'm given to understand that NoFap (both the Reddit community and the website) is a big part of how that happened, though I haven't looked deeply into the details. It's not terribly recent, in any case – criticisms that participation in No Nut November had been co-opted by the alt-right were circulating at least as early as 2018.
Each November, some people try to write a novel. Others would prefer to do as little writing as possible. For those who wish to challenge their ability to not write, we offer this alternative: producing a complete, playable roleplaying game in two hundred words or fewer.
This is the submission thread for the 2024 event, running from November 1st, 2024 through November 30th, 2024. Submission guidelines can be found in this blog's pinned post, here.
Requires several players and a GM
Players:
Before the GM tells you what the plot/tone/setting/etc of the game is going to be, make the most Rule of Cool DeviantArt-OC-ass character you can think of and give them a revolver with six chambers. They should be named something like Saint Vermillion Dragongod or some dope shit like that.
Load this revolver with six actions, things like “kill someone” or “schmooze” or “teleport behind ‘em.” Besides moving around, talking, and breathing, these are the ONLY actions you can take, and you can only take them in the order they fill the chambers. When you’ve taken all six actions, you can reload your actions in any order you’d like, but you CANNOT change the actions themselves.
Do not coordinate your action choices with other players.
GM:
Once everyone has made their characters, throw them into a heist or a dungeon crawl or whatever you think will be funny. Their specific actions always succeed, but they can do literally nothing but those things in that order. If no one can do anything, you all lose and a big snake eats the sun or something. Rinse and repeat.
Good fucking luck.
I think this might actually be the funniest party-game heist caper RPG I've seen since Honey Heist. Bravo.
