Top 10 griddlehark scenes that could have resulted in kisses, ranked by how hot it would have been if it had happened

Disclaimer: I am in no way shape or form saying that this would have made the scenes better, merely mashing them together like dolls.

10. When the gang are headed to "Dulcinea"'s sickroom on Harrow's suggestion and Gideon says she could have kissed her. Girl do it!

9. Post-avulsion, once they're back in their room - preferably, right after "Don't price your life so cheaply, Griddle." Harrow is so fucking scared and so fucking in love, and while it is adorable that she turned to anger at the trials putting them in this position she also could have put that energy into a certain cavalier! Held back by just how pained and out-of-it Gideon was. You know in the morning she would be aggressively telling herself it was a dream.

8. Speaking of things Gideon told herself were dreams, that one time Harrow woke her up from a nightmare! Underrated scene imo. She's looking at you so so softly and understandingly despite the cynicism.

7. During the battle with Cyth, after Harrow saves her flying through the air and they're both slumped on a pile of bones. Gideon just nearly died because she was too busy admiring her perpetual bone, she's so proud of her it makes everything ache, and Harrow's openly performing for her now. No time for talking or thinking, pure adrenaline, just make your move before she passes out!

6. After passing the Winnowing challenge. They are both probably the most exhilarated and turned-on they've ever been. Harrow entered her body and it was a positive interaction. It might have fully struck at least one of them dead if it had happened.

5. During the stair fight, contingent on Harrow finishing the "how dare you mock my-" sentence. Gideon called her out on jealousy, which is major fucking progress for them as far as identifying feelings. They're drained and pissed off, and it's really setting in for Harrow how willing Gideon would be to give herself away to her. Show her that you care!

4. Pre-avulsion. See lovely role-swapped example by @sinshiney here!

3. Right after Gideon tucked away that shadow-colored lock of hair. We know it, we love it, Harrow I understand but at the same time please don't talk about the Body right now. You have no idea what this will do to the next year and a half+ of your relationship.

2. First Flower Of My House. Her trembling hand is on your cheek. A beautiful little smile is on her face. She just made the most beautiful declaration of love you've ever heard in your life. You're planning on dying anyway and have nothing left to lose. Shalalalalala-my-oh-my...

Honorable mentions:

Animated adaptation of the pool scene from Harrow's point of view, where we see her looking at The Body over Gideon's shoulder during her description and then refocusing on Gideon, her shift in priorities complete (and we see, albeit blurrily, the way Gideon's face changes and her hand falls from Harrow's jaw)

Shittily animated tlt miniseries that mostly takes place mid-Gideon the Ninth

Episode the First: It's an average day in the life of Admiral Sarpedon, until the Emperor His Lord pulls him aside to help him write a top-secret missive to the House heirs - he's worried that he doesn't know what language resonates with the kids these days.

Episode the Second: Marta repeatedly kicks her necromancer's ass at both chess and Canaan strategy, but when she sincerely calls her the better/more competent woman she reassures Judith that she's a true leader and people will lean on her in times of need.

Episode the Third: The Tridentarii gather up the Fourth, Fifth and Sixth for a game of Truth of Dare; they monopolize the time by making Babs and then each other recount their first kisses.

Episode the Fourth: Isaac becomes insecure that Jeanne always seems to want to spend time with Coronabeth and Gideon now, until a beleaguered Camilla explains that she likes them in a different way, not a better way.

Episode the Fifth: Magnus tries to get Abigail to call the spirits of her parents, thinking that having a more active cavalier role will let him charm them in the way he never could while they were alive.

Episode the Sixth: Palamedes throws himself suspiciously hard, even for him, into unraveling the mysteries of Canaan House; Camilla sits him down for a leisurely tea in an attempt to get him to talk about it, but then everyone - including the Duchess - ends up inviting themselves.

Episode the Seventh: Catching on that Harrow is the only person prodding the Protesilaus construct with questions, Cytherea programs his only response to be, "What, are you in love with your cavalier or something?" This eventually backfires and results in her having flashbacks to her life with Loveday.

Episode the Eighth: After overhearing Babs muttering to himself, Colum decides to try meditation as a way to get some time away from his uncle and reconnect with his body.

Episode the Ninth: Harrow decides to make sketches of each scion and cav in attendance, for the sake of thoroughness, and...struggles...with her own House.

I know this has been talked to death but holy shit did Gideon think Harrow was coming on to her. Likeeeeee

Besides the obvious, what are you bringing up chaperones for, girl? Why would you and Harrow need them in this moment?

This is a great point, and generally it's crazy how consistently Gideon phrases it as her giving herself to Harrow rather than Harrow taking her life from her. The line you pointed out in chapter fucking two, not looking frantically for her phrased as "giving up," the ease with which she falls into "I am your creature" and "battery up"...babygirl is unwell for her and she always has been and she's always kind of known it.

She gave her her sword. She gave her herself.

Why are you, as a necro, wielding a sword? So what's left of your cav can wrap her arm around you and help you lift it, leaving you cheek-to-cheek in a strange embrace? So that you can feel her calloused hands against yours?

We need a animated GtN adaptation, if for no other reason to get the visual of Gideon looking up blearily, and the form of Harrow running to her coming into focus.

May I just say that Glaurica fascinates me. This woman was raised in the Eighth House and became one of the last-ever pilgrims to the Ninth. She moved for the love of their cavalier primary, Mortus, who is one of the only adults Harrow seems to have relatively pleasant memories of. They had a son and named him Ortus. Their intercession saved him from the " crèche flu "; she knew the truth of the circumstances of Harrow's birth, or at least part of it, and it drove her demented. Her husband died with no official reason given besides the assurance that it was in service to her adopted House, which was now for all intents and purposes run by a ten-year-old. She's seemingly the only (mostly) lucid adult who never figured out that Pelleamena and Priamhark died at the same time as Mortus, which is probably because she was busy raising the best-adjusted person on the Ninth (not a high bar to clear, of course). Said lucid adults held both her and her son in open contempt, one because she was an immigrant and one because she allowed/encouraged his poetry habit over his cavaliership. She completely ignored the much-abused teenage bondservant of the Ninth until after her own death. She only tried to leave the Ninth only when she learned that her son might be taken from her, unknowingly acting as a pawn in her teenage monarch's attempt to fastrack her own enemies-to-lovers arc. Her Marshall planted a bomb on the transport and all she could do was look upon it and weep before it killed her. She followed a thanergetic link all the way back to her home planet and at the least hinted at the war crime that she had witnessed on the Ninth; seemingly all the Eighth did about it was lord it over Gideon (ultimately to the benefit of said enemies-to-lovers arc). Only like three people on the Ninth were even informed of her death. What a life.

"Come on. Where'd she go? Where is she?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," said Nona miserably.

"Listen, she can be in hell for all I care, I won't get mad," said Kiriona. "She can be at the bottom of the sea or at the bottom of space. I just need to know - where."

[A]nd there was Prince Kiriona Gaia, stretched out on the seats, lying flat, looking at her from the shadows with those golden eyes like a dead animal's.

The corpse prince didn't turn an eyelash.

"I want to go back. Who cares about my reasons?"

"That Tomb's opening, now," said Kiriona.

Okay yes. However. Exhibit A:

Not to mention that she is very much not resting there currently, the Tomb never really Alecto's final resting place - even if AtN somehow ended with her back in it, she wouldn't be dead.

Exhibit B:

The Ninth doesn't do coffins - the space Harrow entered at the end of HtN is at the least similar to the ice-lolly-bimbo-free ideal that she visualized herself as before she died. And Gideon's sword is there - already a very strong association with her.

Exhibit C:

Gideon and the preservation thereof is literally more important to her than God and more fundamental to her than the Body (!!!!!!!!!)

Exhibit D:

Especially considering that biblically "received" has a connotation of taking something/one into oneself (ie receiving God's spirit), Harrow being welcomed into the Body's place feels very apt and very deliberate.

TL:DR Gideon is Harrow's one true love.

TLT as safety sign pictograms

GtN:

HtN:

NtN:

"You know I don't give a damn about the Locked Tomb, right? You know I only care about you."

"There was a wet, meaty sound ... Kiriona kept saying - 'It didn't feel good...Fuck...It didn't feel good. Why didn't it feel good?"

"'Holy shit ... If you're using Sister Canace as a last line of defense, how badly off are w- you?'"

"The problem was that she had never been a child; she and Gideon had become women before their time, and watched each other's childhood crumble away like so much dust."

"'Such a quick study, and you still don't understand ... The more you struggle against the Ninth, Nav, the deeper it takes you; the louder you curse it, the louder they'll have you scream.'"

Harrow saying that she didn't want to unbalance Gideon's equilibrium is the funniest thing ever. Girliepop has had a balanced equilibrium for maybe two hours cumulatively, and that's being generous.

Griddlehark reunion is going to look like this 😭