procrastinationaccount reblogged
Shittily animated tlt miniseries that mostly takes place mid-Gideon the Ninth
Episode the First: It's an average day in the life of Admiral Sarpedon, until the Emperor His Lord pulls him aside to help him write a top-secret missive to the House heirs - he's worried that he doesn't know what language resonates with the kids these days.
Episode the Second: Marta repeatedly kicks her necromancer's ass at both chess and Canaan strategy, but when she sincerely calls her the better/more competent woman she reassures Judith that she's a true leader and people will lean on her in times of need.
Episode the Third: The Tridentarii gather up the Fourth, Fifth and Sixth for a game of Truth of Dare; they monopolize the time by making Babs and then each other recount their first kisses.
Episode the Fourth: Isaac becomes insecure that Jeanne always seems to want to spend time with Coronabeth and Gideon now, until a beleaguered Camilla explains that she likes them in a different way, not a better way.
Episode the Fifth: Magnus tries to get Abigail to call the spirits of her parents, thinking that having a more active cavalier role will let him charm them in the way he never could while they were alive.
Episode the Sixth: Palamedes throws himself suspiciously hard, even for him, into unraveling the mysteries of Canaan House; Camilla sits him down for a leisurely tea in an attempt to get him to talk about it, but then everyone - including the Duchess - ends up inviting themselves.
Episode the Seventh: Catching on that Harrow is the only person prodding the Protesilaus construct with questions, Cytherea programs his only response to be, "What, are you in love with your cavalier or something?" This eventually backfires and results in her having flashbacks to her life with Loveday.
Episode the Eighth: After overhearing Babs muttering to himself, Colum decides to try meditation as a way to get some time away from his uncle and reconnect with his body.
Episode the Ninth: Harrow decides to make sketches of each scion and cav in attendance, for the sake of thoroughness, and...struggles...with her own House.
#The Sixth episode is basically the one from Gilmore Girls where Rory refuses to wallow over Dean until the last moment#The Ninth episode features a long sequence where Harrow just imagines getting caught watching Gideon sleep#I jest but I would love these#the locked tomb#tlt#gtn spoilers#gideon the ninth spoilers#admiral sarpedon#john gaius#marta dyas#judith deuteros#ianthe tridentarius#coronabeth tridentarius#jeannemary chatur#isaac tettares#magnus quinn#abigail quinn#naberius tern#palamedes sextus#camilla hect#sixth besties come back 😭#cytherea loveday#harrowhark nonagesimus#gideon nav#griddlehark
Tlt characters' opinions of gimmick blogs
Gideon: Thinks they're delightful
Harrow: Despises them on principle
Palamedes: Likes ones that involve grammar or identification, runs one with Camilla (she's in charge of finding posts, he does nerdy things to them)
Dulcinea: Could draw up an entire iceberg diagram and has strong opinions on all of them
Ianthe: Thinks a few of them are funny and cyberbullies the rest
Judith: Cannot and/or refuses to compute
John: Witnessed too much mod drama to even think about them without shuddering (Mercy, Pyrrha and G1deon agree, Augustine is still nostalgic)
Ortus: Runs multiple, all poetry-based
Nona: Enjoys them until Camilla makes her get off of Tumblr
#What is HtN about if not mod drama on a universal scale#the locked tomb#tlt shitposting#gideon nav#harrowhark nonagesimus#palamedes sextus#camilla hect#ianthe tridentarius#john gaius#ortus nigenad#judith deutros#nona tlt#These are all the people I had immediate strong vibes from but please add more
The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals au
- Harrow as Paul
- Bari Star!Gideon as Emma (Jeannemary and Isaac are her coworkers)
- Ianthe as Ted
- Corona as Charlotte
- Judith as Sam
- Teacher as Mr. Davidson
- Palamedes as Bill (Dulcie is the ex, he's not as bitter)
- Nona as Alice (dw about it)
- Cam as Deb (her bodyguard rather than her gf, Palamedes is a fan)
- Hot Sauce and Honesty as the Hatchetfield Smoke Club
- Pyrrha as McNamara
- Jod as Professor Higgins (all I want to do is spend the day with Augustine and Mercy and G1deon and Cassie and Cyrus and Ulysses and Cytherea and...)
- Hatchetfield = New Rho, Clivesdale = Drearburh
- Jod owns the company that the non-Gideon characters work at but isn't directly involved in running it, Gideon knows him bc he's her dad
- Jod calls the things possessing them demons but they function the same way.
Do you see my vision.
John really looked at Dr. Frankenfurter and said "that's who I'm going to be when I grow up"
The absolute roller coaster of "You can try to become a Lyctor (if you want to lol)" to "Sorry about that horribly mismanaged death trap, but now you can decide whether to be a a Lyctor with me or on the safety of your home planet <3" to "Ok, you have to stay with me because of the giant monsters I decided not to mention, but I'm going to train you to run away from them!" to "Have fun fighting unimaginable horrors with none of the necessary defenses in ten months, buddy. Here, have a teacher who openly dislikes you and a guy that's actively trying to kill you :)))))))" that John takes Harrow through in his introductory chapters is honestly staggering.
#The way SOME PEOPLE see this relationship smh (thanks John)#Gideon. Corona. Besties. I need you to not for your own mental health (read: my mental health)#the locked tomb#tlt memes#john gaius#gideon nav#harrowhark nonagesimus#coronabeth tridentarius#ianthe tridentarius#judith deuteros#griddlehark#jodybeth
I'm just gonna put this out there
procrastinationaccount reblogged
My three Lyctors.
And yes, they smoke weed.
do they smoke weed?
Yes, actually.
You mean he isn't just smoking a cigarette? But a weed cigarette?
It's called a bunt…. Not weed cigarette… And yes, it is a weed bunt. They all smoke weed bunts before they kiss. (They are my lyctors,)
They don't look like they smoke weed.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
I'm so angry you are so lucky my three weed smorking girlfriends are rubbing my shoulders to calm me down I'm so mad.
Your "weed smoking lyctor" has a Hello Kitty tattoo on his belly. The one in the middle.
I tracked down your necromancer and taped her to my punching bag that I punch and I mutter your URL wth every strong punch I punch you twerp.... Don't ever Talk about John or the wicked Tat(tattoo) I drew on him ever again I Don't wanna see you standing outside Cytherea's room at 3 am holding your weird bone covered sword ever again ok leave us alone this is the FINAL FUCKING WARNING
Well that escalated quickly.....
What, was that? Hmm? Come again. *John grabs my shoulder* ORTUS, have pity. * I jerk my shoulder shaking his hand off* THIS IS MY PITY, LOOOOORD!!! *starts to just pummel you with my big fucking fists. With each blow I let out a furious yell. The blows come quicker and harder and the yells get louder. I'm yelling so loud and now I'm crying. BREAKING POINT. The millennia was hard and I can't take anymore. I'm openly sobbing at this point while you blood gurgle. All three of my lyctors struggle to pull me off and they finally succeed and lead me away from the goo pile that is now your body*
haha oh my god
who even is this dude? someone needs some anger management classes.
love how he keeps reminding us that "I HAVE THREE LYCTORS", "THEY ALL KISS EACH OTHER", and " THEY SMOKE WEED HURRP DURR".
And let's not forget that "John" and his "wicked tat", or that he doesn't "wanna see you standing outside Cytherea's room at 3 am holding your weird bone covered sword ever again", and that this is "the FINAL FUCKING WARNING".
"the goo pile that is now your body"
i'm dying over here, jesus
please, ORTUS, come challenge me to a bout; I promise, it'll be fun.
*shoots you dead* Heh, idiot...
*Leaves with my three weed smoking lyctors to go hold hands and kiss.*