[Video description: A compilation of clips from Star Trek: The Next Generation showing the instances in which Picard pulled his shirt. It is edited so that every time he pulls his shirt, his badge flies off of his uniform with a 'pop' sound. End description]

Can you imagine how weird it’s going to be when Thuron, the drow from the sewers at the start of the campaign, gets reborn?  I assume that the things the M9 have done are enough to make them famous, and I can only imagine they’re going to continue doing more and more.  Can you imagine being a drow kid, just entering adolescence and starting to put together memories of your previous lives, and realizing as the memories of the last day of your past life come into focus that you met the Heroes of the Dynasty?

And they were a bunch of assholes in a sewer?

There’s probably art of them, stained glass or paintings or something depicting the return of the beacon and there - that one in the middle there, holding out the beacon - that’s the guy you watched whip his dick out and piss on a crownsguard’s helmet.

(and then, whoa, the weirdness of realizing you’re in that picture, too.  you were there, inside that very beacon, at the moment of its return.)

and there, the blue one?  you remember she was upset because she thought the beacon was important for making babies.  she’s widely known as a prophet, now. 

there’s a few in the pictures that you don’t recognize - you’re pretty sure you would have noticed, if there had been a huge barbarian woman or a pink firbolg with them that night - and there’s one in your memory that isn’t there in the pictures or the history books.  but the foulmouthed monk woman, you remember her.

she’s a legend now, the Expositor who found the corruption in both the Empire and the Dynasty, and dragged it into the light.  she’s remembered for her wisdom, and her eloquence, and her unflinching moral compass.

and there she is in the pictures and she’s still wearing the boots she stole from you.

Anthony J. Crowley, Retired Demon and Airbnb Superhost

So help me, I have written a fic composed of Airbnb reviews of Crowley’s Mayfair flat. 

Anthony J. Crowley, Retired Demon and Airbnb Superhost

Rated G

Summary: What are you supposed to do when you’ve been fired from your sweet job in Hell for thwarting the schemes of Satan, you’ve got a swanky flat in Mayfair, and you’re looking for an excuse to spend all your time in someone else’s bookshop? Obviously, you turn to the dubious world of short-term vacation rentals.

The resulting Airbnb property in Mayfair has been variously described as “an instagram trap,” “a vampire den but make it botanical,” and “the weirdest bed and breakfast in the shared history of beds and breakfasting.”

Drowsy Maggie - Scottish Indian Punjabi Mix (The Snake Charmer)

This isn’t technically lesbian content, but it’s my favorite Celtic piece played in a mindblowing style and I am shook.

Josie: I need this as research material!!!  (part 1)

she’s amazing

guys i was just reading my own t.e. lawrence tag which i forgot i even HAD because of the SHEER QUANTITY OF SPECIAL INTERESTS I POSSESS, and, anyway, remember when t.e. lawrence’s editors were like “yo buddy could you do us the solid of maybe like, making ANY ATTEMPT AT ALL to standardize your transliterations of these names” and not only was his response basically “lol no” but he ALSO totally tried to spin it like he was refusing out of some kind of NOBLE PRINCIPLE of like… “no, because I must expose to the masses the arbitrariness of transliterated spellings that they might understand the inherent differences in the arabic and roman alphabets!”  OR WHATEVER, as opposed to the TRUE principle he was acting out of, this being “no, because i’m t.e. lawrence and making life difficult for people in positions of authority is my FAVORITE RECREATIONAL ACTIVITY”

 and then not only this, but ALSO ADDITIONALLY, he included their request and his response IN THE BOOK ITSELF, presumably to increase their frustration and embarrassment in punishment for their having dared to ask him to spell anything the same way twice in his published manuscript

I demand explanation and recompense

I just adore all of this!

Cole my dear…

Haha!

Monk #1: so when two knights are fighting… Monk #2: yes? Monk #1: what are their horses doing? you know, in the meantime Monk #2: cuddling Monk #1: cuddling? Monk #2: yes, it’s very stressful being a horse. sometimes they have to hug it out

(Saw this and just had to do a riff on Two Monks from the Toast. Actual explanation here.)

Keyleth casting Heroes’ Feast for the first time: “You guys, I’ve just had a near-death experience. I’ve been craving some lasagna. Okay? So I’m gonna make some of the best goddamn lasagna we’ve ever had in our life. I’m going to spend a thousand dollars and make some amazing fucking lasagna.”

Style and Substance 🌌

A friend sent this picture to me, said it was from the Woman’s March in Albany.

This is my favorite sign.

blood is not kosher

assuming vampires breathe, and are therefore alive, what do they do

If they’re alive and they need it to survive, it’s permitted (provided they don’t kill people in so doing).

If they’re not alive, halacha doesn’t apply to them.

Either way, there is no reasonable halachic restriction on a vampire drinking blood.

but would it need to be from a kosher animal can they drink, like, dolphin blood

Okay now that gets interesting and I would want to actually ask a rabbi whether that would be a thing.  like, if one must consume the blood of living things to survive, does it make a difference whether one limits it to the blood of kosher animals or not.  I could see it being ruled either way.  (I would think if there is only one type of blood one can metabolize or if only one type of blood is available, one can consume it regardless.)

I remember learning that human blood (not sure about animal blood) is permissible to consume if it has not been “poresh” (”separated”) from the body (in the context of “if you cut your lip or your finger and immediately and instinctively put it in your mouth, you don’t have to spit out the blood”).

So 

Drinking blood out of a goblet or vacuum-sealed bag would be assur, but sinking your teeth into someone and drinking directly (so that the blood never touches the air or is in a vessel) would be okay.

I know that applies to one’s own blood, but I don’t know if the principle applies to someone else’s.  But it may count as a possible precedent!

Okay, so I asked my rabbi about this (… yes, my actual rabbi). Short answer, @fenrisesque​, is that the ideal situation is for the vampire to intravenously ingest blood that was donated by a human in order to stay alive, assuming that donation doesn’t kill the person. If homemade intravenously doesn’t work, then storebought oral ingestion is fine too. This applies whether or not the vampire can drink animal blood. Long answer, which I find fascinating but is long so under a cut:

Keep reading

THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL please thank your rabbi for me

(also, consuming blood from a live person who will not be harmed by the loss of blood is completely different from killing and eating a person – because it is forbidden to derive material gain from a corpse, which includes using it for food, separately from any kosher/nonkosher issues.)

A friend of mine gave a shiur on this topic years ago for a tikkun leil Shavuot. I’ll have to show him this thread.

This, is fucking insane. I would have loved to been on the AD department for this.

-Griffin.

@mystery-moose

I’m TAing an intro to proofs and set theory class, and the instructor just sent this kids’ book about infinity out to the class. It’s pure MS Paint Lovecraftian nighmare fuel: https://www.math.brown.edu/~res/farm.pdf

@metagorgon

what the absolute fuck

holy shit

*opens mouth*

*closest mouth*

*frowns*

I feel like this is answers to questions I never wanted to ask.

I don’t want to go to the infinite farm. I’m scared of the infinite farm.

I thought “pure MS Paint Lovecraftian nightmare fuel” was an exaggeration but if anything it’s understatement

whel'p, I am officially insane

Though everyone read ‘The Infinite Farm’ in elementary school.

I mean, my version was a coloring book, but still. It’s a classic.

O_O

I’m staring into the abyss and I love it

Horded ducks see water for the first time

someone just show me this next time I’m sad

I like how they just keep throwing them in the water until they remember that they’re ducks

This is the most joyful thing ^___^

@keian44

That one time Vaxus and Dorian got the Chargers to watch over Felix. Their best job yet.